Total pages in book: 127
Estimated words: 121296 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 606(@200wpm)___ 485(@250wpm)___ 404(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121296 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 606(@200wpm)___ 485(@250wpm)___ 404(@300wpm)
I’ve been chasing peace since the day Pop died, and everyone looked to me like I had all the answers because I was the oldest left standing. The truth is, I never wanted to lead. I wanted to build fences and fix things and maybe fall in love if I got lucky, and one day carry my son on my shoulders. I imagined walking the pastures, showing him everything that will belong to him one day.
Instead, I got a ranch full of chaos, brothers and cousins and nieces and nephews coming out of my ears who needed someone to lean on, swamped by shared grief and loss that settles in your bones. There was no time for my dreams. No time to find a woman to hold in my arms at night, who could, with a gentle touch, wipe away some of the tension and hardship.
But tonight?
Tonight is a different kind of peace.
It’s the sound of kids laughing and cookies crunching and someone humming off-key. It’s Corbin and Levi bickering over whether milk is a real drink. It’s Nash pretending he knows how to braid Eli’s hair because he’s had one tutorial with Grace, and Cody trying to mime Titanic by standing on the coffee table and yelling, “I’m the king of the world!” until Grace is laughing so hard, she’s crying. It’s McCartney leaning in to whisper something filthy in Grace’s ear, and her swatting him with a pillow while still tucked against me like I’m her safe place.
Because I guess I am. It’s what I’ve always been to everyone in this room, so why not to her?
Grace giggles beside me, muffling the sound against my shirt. She smells like vanilla lotion and a warm woman, and it makes me want to drag her back upstairs to make her smell like me again. But she’s laughing, her whole body shaking with it, and I don’t want to move and disturb even a single second.
“All right, my turn!” she says, jumping up and cracking her knuckles. “Prepare to be amazed.”
“Oh god,” Corbin says, grinning as he flops down beside Hannah and passes her another cookie.
Grace waves her hand and bows with the flair of someone accepting an Oscar. “All right, prepare to have your minds blown.”
She starts by pretending to carry a stack of books, then flutters around the room like she’s smelling flowers and browsing at a market. There’s an exaggerated gasp as she ‘reads’ a book and sighs dreamily. Then she spots an invisible something, recoils in horror, and dramatically shields her eyes.
“The Ring?” Nash guesses. “Wait, no—Phantom of the Opera?”
“Twilight?” Cody squints. “When she’s in the forest, and he’s sparkling and creepy.”
“King Kong?” Levi deadpans.
“She’s Belle!” Eli yells, jumping up and twirling. “It’s Belle! She’s scared of the beast because he’s growly.”
“Is this Beauty and the Beast?” McCartney asks, eyebrows raised as Grace dances with an imaginary partner in her arms, running her hands up and down his back.
“Beast!” Grace whispers, dramatically stroking the air like she’s caressing fur. Then she throws her head back and laughs. “You got it, Eli. Well done.”
“Wow,” Cody says, clapping. “That’s the most dramatic Disney moment I’ve ever seen.”
“She made out with the invisible Beast,” Levi mutters, covering Rory’s eyes. “Too sensual for charades, Gracie.”
“I’ll have you know,” she says, catching her breath, “that was an Oscar-worthy interpretation.”
Cody says. “I’m calling that PG-13.”
“Kids need to learn about complicated relationships sometime,” Grace says, chin lifted like a true thespian.
Matty claps. “Do it again!”
“It’s someone else’s turn now,” she laughs, flopping back beside me.
I kiss the top of her head and pull her tighter against my side. “You’re a menace.”
“I’m a Disney princess,” she corrects, eyes twinkling.
“My princess,” I whisper against her ear. When she looks at me, it’s like she’s glowing.
When she came to Cooper Hill, something was missing from this woman that being here has given back to her. If even a small part of me thought we were being selfish for wanting her to stay, that alone makes me confident that this setup is as good for her as it is for us.
We need each other like we need air.
The kids rally, the cookies disappear, and the fire crackles steadily in the hearth. Music hums low on the stereo now with some old country tune Levi queued up, probably to annoy Corbin. And all around me is warmth and light and mess I used to try to fix.
Now? Now I want to lasso it and grip onto it with both hands.
This is the peace I’ve been looking for. This mess of love and laughter and the warm press of a woman at my side who sees it all and loves it, too.
I breathe it in like I’ve been trapped underground, and I’m finally free to come up for air in the warm afternoon sun.