Total pages in book: 113
Estimated words: 106772 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106772 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
From the author of The Art of Starting Over comes a heartfelt portrait of what it means to build a family, as a young woman navigates grief, guardianship, and the bittersweet gift of falling in love.
The only thing that could pull Antonia Bernardi away from her high-powered career is her lifelong best friend. And with two children and a cruel prognosis, Miriam Vaughn needs her now more than ever.
Antonia drops everything—her job, her relationship—to be there for the Vaughns. Playing mom to Miriam’s teenage son and seven-year-old daughter is a tall order made heavier by grief. But the kids need her, and she needs them.
Then there’s the boy’s coach and mentor, former MLB star Weston Schmidt. He’s a pillar of support, a safe space for Antonia to rest. But there’s too much going on to even think about romance … or maybe that’s exactly why they should.
Adjusting to life without her best friend, Antonia leans into her new role as guardian, doing work she loves and repairing the old farmhouse Miriam cherished. Nothing can stop the world from spinning—but Antonia has every reason to keep on going
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Prologue
At seventeen, you thought you had your entire world figured out. Your parents were wrong about everything, and the boy you were in love with—the one everyone had warned you about—was the love of your life. Deep down, a part of you knew he was going to hurt you, destroy your faith in men, in the world. But you didn’t care because, at that moment, he was your whole world, and he’d told you there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for you.
Except stick around when the line on the stick turned pink or blue or appeared twice. And while you were happy because a baby meant you’d be with him forever, he had other ideas.
As did your parents. They were deeply religious and didn’t understand why you’d insisted on disobeying them. Why would you throw your life away for a boy who didn’t care about anyone but himself?
I love him, Daddy.
Love wasn’t enough. At least not to him.
Love meant something else to him, and as long as everything was just the two of you, there weren’t any issues.
Three of you became a problem.
I lay back and stared at the blue sky. I tried to imagine the clouds forming those shapes everyone saw when they gazed upward, but all I saw were mounds of cotton balls floating off to someplace better than where we were.
My best friend, Antonia, lay beside me, her hand in mine, staring at the same sky, the same clouds, the same nothingness.
“Maybe I should do what my parents want and give the baby up for adoption.” Instinctively, my hand covered my lower abdomen, where my little pea nestled.
“I can go with you, if you want to speak to someone about it.”
Antonia had always been by my side since we were three. Although I didn’t remember us at three, four, or five, I did remember us starting kindergarten together. Our teachers called us “inseparable busybodies,” and they wanted us in different classes. The joke was on them. The powers that be, thanks to Antonia’s aunt being the registrar at school, put us in the same class every single year. It wasn’t until junior high that we had different classes.
Different likes.
Always best friends.
“What if I keep her?”
“Is it a girl?”
I lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “I guess it could be a boy.”
“Or twins.”
I groaned at the thought and covered my face as a fresh wave of tears began to fall. “What have I done?”
Antonia let go of my hand and propped herself up on her elbow. “Nothing that any of our classmates haven’t done. We’re graduating soon, Miriam. Things will be okay. You can still go to college if you want.”
I did want to, but I knew my parents wouldn’t foot the bill if I had this baby. I’d heard about some programs, though. The government gave a lot of financial aid to single moms, and I could take out a school loan.
“If I keep this baby, we won’t be able to go to school together.” Going away to a big school like the University of Arizona had been our dream. Now it was just Antonia’s unless I made the right decision. Or the wrong decision. It was hard to know which decision fell into the right category.
“If you keep this baby, you’ll be a mom, Miri.”
“I know.” My words were barely above a whisper. Being a mom was something I’d always said I’d do. Sure, I wanted a career, but I wanted children too. I just never thought I’d be a mom at eighteen.
“When do you have to decide?”
Without asking, I knew what she meant. I supposed when you were early in your pregnancy, everything was on the table.
“Soon.” I already knew I wouldn’t be able to do it, to follow through with ending my pregnancy. The father—the boy—I had considered the love of my life didn’t want anything to do with me or his child. He’d walked out on me, saying he had bigger dreams and aspirations than working some nine-to-five job so he could buy diapers and formula. This was news to me, since he’d already dropped out of high school and had a part-time gig at the auto shop.
Antonia lay back down, scooching closer to me. We tilted our heads toward one another, both sighing.
“Maybe my parents can help?”
She had the best parents. Renzo and Carmela Bernardi were kind and gentle, and they let Antonia and her siblings, Rocco and Isabella, do anything they wanted, as long as they obeyed the law.
“Renzo would hunt . . . him . . . down.” I couldn’t even bring myself to say his name. Anyone who walked out on their pregnant girlfriend didn’t deserve a name.
“He would.” Antonia squeezed my hand. “So would Rocco.”
The thought of her family helping me this way brought more tears to my eyes. Why couldn’t my parents feel the same way?