Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 116759 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 584(@200wpm)___ 467(@250wpm)___ 389(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 116759 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 584(@200wpm)___ 467(@250wpm)___ 389(@300wpm)
Maddie and Shaun were hailing a cab that I planned to share with them, and Zac was hailing one for him, Harry, and Sebastian.
Sebastian took my arm and pulled me aside, concern etched into his taut features. “I don’t want to say goodbye like this. Will you come back to my place for a bit?”
“I should really go home.”
“Please, Sawyer.” He dipped his head toward mine. “Things feel weird between us, and I really don’t like it.”
“Sebastian—”
“You’re one of the most important people in my life. You know that, right?”
Guilt knotted inside me.
Part of me knew I wasn’t being fair to him and our friendship. “Okay. I’ll come back for a bit.”
He seemed to slump with relief. “Good.” He pulled me into his side, wrapping his arm around my shoulders to huddle me close. His lips brushed familiarly against my temple.
As the first cab pulled up, Maddie turned to me. “You coming, Lil?”
“I’m going to go to Sebastian’s. I’ll see you in the morning.”
She frowned. Maddie and Sierra didn’t know I was half in love with my best friend, but I think they suspected, and I suspected they were worried. “Okay. If you’re sure? My train leaves at ten, so please return in time to swap Christmas presents.”
“I’ll be there. Love you.”
“Love you, babe. Bye, guys!” She waved at the lads. “Merry Christmas!”
“Merry Christmas!” the three of them boomed enthusiastically.
Sebastian squeezed me closer. “Fancy a hot chocolate when we get back?”
There were those butterflies again, raging wildly to life. “Sounds nice.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
LILY
In my attempt to avoid Sebastian over the last two weeks, I hadn’t been to the lads’ flat in a while. In that time, they’d decorated for Christmas. It was like a tinsel shop had thrown up in it. It was everywhere. The tree in the corner of the living room was practically suffocating in it.
Sebastian saw my amusement and chuckled. “Hey, at least we made an effort.”
“That you did.”
“You guys hanging out in here?” Zac asked, sounding almost hopeful.
I nodded, but Sebastian cut me off. “We’re going to hang out in my room. I’m making hot chocolate. You want some?”
Harry had already disappeared into his room and passed out drunk.
Zac swayed on his feet. “Nah, I’ll grab some water and head to bed, then.”
Five minutes later, I found myself curled up next to Sebastian on his king-size bed with a mug of hot chocolate between my palms. Alone with him, I was much more aware of how short my party dress was. I sat sideways so the skirt covered my thighs, but there was nothing I could do about my cleavage.
Sebastian glanced down at my breasts a few times before he quickly glanced away.
I didn’t think it meant anything.
Weren’t straight men genetically programmed to look at tits no matter who they were attached to?
He stared at the wall opposite the bed after taking a sip of his hot cocoa. “Are we all right?”
Ignoring a niggle of guilt, I replied, “Of course.”
Sebastian searched my eyes. “It doesn’t feel like we are. I feel like you’ve been avoiding me.”
“I’m not,” I lied. I am the shittiest friend ever. “I swear I’ve been stressed out about exams. I freaked out at that first one and I needed to go solo. Sometimes I do that. I didn’t mean to make you feel like I was avoiding you.”
“No, no. I’m sorry if I’m coming across like a first-class cling-on.” He rubbed the nape of his neck self-consciously. “Our friendship is really important to me, and I … I don’t want to lose you, so if I ever do something that upsets you, I want to know.”
Apparently, it was possible to feel more remorseful than I did already. “We’re good. I promise.”
Once Sebastian seemed convinced that all was right in Thorne and Sawyer land, we fell into easier conversation, catching each other up on the last few weeks. It turned out his mum and dad were fighting so much over who was hosting him and Juno for Christmas dinner that Sebastian and his sister had decided to do Christmas brunch with their dad and Christmas dinner with their mum. Their parents still weren’t entirely happy about it but had accepted the compromise.
“You finished?” Sebastian asked, gesturing to my mug.
I nodded and he took it, disappearing out of the room to put them in the kitchen. I’d been in his room many times and always marveled at how cozy it was. My exes’ rooms were usually practical and cold with little in the way of soft furnishings. The room was not only big enough for a king bed but a two-seater sofa at the end of it, facing the TV on the wall. There were cushions and throws, a rug, and even bed cushions. There was framed artwork, a vase Juno made, and illustrated scenes from Steven Spielberg movies on the wall. I knew from our many conversations Sebastian was a fan of the director. “I know it’s not particularly cool to be a fan of a legendary successful artist,” he’d told me at the time. “It’s cooler to admire the more obscure, lesser known. But I love his movies.”