Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 97275 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 486(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97275 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 486(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
I patted her hand in acknowledgement, but didn’t say anything.
The nurses on the surgical floor didn’t mind having us waiting there, so we waited, and we waited, and we waited. Time crawled to a standstill. My head was throbbing. My ribs felt like a mule kicked them, and my sister was silently crying in the corner.
“Mr. Tremaine?” A female doctor asked from down the hallway.
I stood, and walked in my bare socks towards her. Gabe, Cheyenne, and Ember at my back in silent support.
“Are you Payton’s husband?” She asked.
I was about to nod yes when I saw a rush of white coats and green scrubs rush past us with a clear incubator type thing. Almost like the one that Payton had rolled the other babies around in, yet not. This one had a clear plastic top to it with circles on the sides. Attached to the front was a monitor with numbers lighting up the screen. Beeping sounds coming from it.
Inside was a tiny little baby the size of a baby doll. Janie carried one around time to time that resembled it. It took a few moments for my brain to catch up, but once it did, horror washed over me.
I took a step in their direction, but was halted by the nurse that still stood in front of me. I tried to shake her off, but she wouldn’t budge.
Turning towards her in affront, Gabe grabbed my arm and hauled me away from her. “Listen to her first.” He said in his deep, demanding voice.
I took a breath in, and let it out slowly. I nodded in thanks, and then nodded to the doctor who looked relieved to have Gabe standing beside me.
“Payton has some swelling on her brain. We’re going to keep her in a medically induced coma for now. She had some bleeding internally as well, but we were able to get that corrected as well. The baby was in distress, so they delivered her. She will be in the NICU. NICU is across the hall from ICU, which is where we’ll be taking Payton as soon as we’re sure she’s stable, and no longer in need of any surgery.” The doctor explained.
Bile rose in my stomach, but I tamped it down. I felt lost. I didn’t know where to go, or what to do. Then I remembered her parents.
“Her parents. I need to call her parents.” I said to Ember.
“We already called them, Max. They’re in the waiting room. I’ll go out and talk to them. You go see that baby of yours.” Ember said softly.
The doctor touched my arm and said, “I can take you to your daughter, Mr. Tremaine.”
I followed. Scared shitless. A daughter.
Chapter 16
Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.
-The Lorax
Max
I closed my eyes and tried to block out the multiple wires and tubes covering the entirety of my daughter’s body. She was tiny. Undeniably tiny. My wedding ring fit on her ankle she was that tiny. Payton’s wedding ring fit over her hand, but not quite over her knuckles. In fact, I was fairly certain she’d fit into a Route 44 cup from Sonic with ease.
“Your daughter is doing remarkably well for only twenty six weeks gestation. She’s weighing in at one pound fourteen ounces and she’s fourteen inches long. That’s normal size at this gestation. She’s on Vapotherm right now, and she’s trying very hard to breathe on her own. I’m just plain amazed at this. Most preemies aren’t this well-adjusted in the beginning. You have a fighter on your hands. ” Dr. Murray told me.
The thing covering her nose looked like it hurt. I didn’t want her to hurt. God, she was so freaking small.
“It’s not hurting her?” I asked gruffly.
“No. I assure you, it all looks bad, but she’s fine. The tube in her mouth is feeding her intravenously. If she does well on this, then we will try her out on syringes. Do you know if her mom was wanting to do breast milk or not? We have an excellent donor program here. Milk is screened and tested beforehand.” He said.
I shook my head confused. “I don’t know. Is this not something Payton can do?”
“From what I understand, she’s unconscious. Now we can probably pump from her, but that’s something you would need to discuss with her doctor first, but if he allows it, then we certainly would love to get it from mom.” Dr. Murray said as he consulted his chart.
I finally worked up the courage and asked him what I’d been yearning to do. “Can I hold her?”
He smiled sadly. “Absolutely. She’s doing exceptionally well; most babies this age you wouldn’t get to hold for weeks. You’ve washed before you even entered the room. She’s stable, and the best thing that can be done right now is what they call kangaroo care. That’s where you have skin-to-skin contact with the baby. Normally it’s the mom that does it, but in this case you will do nicely.”
My phone beeped, and I looked at the message. It was from Jessie, who was staying with Payton. She’d taken a picture and sent it to me. I’d asked her to send me periodic updates. I didn’t care that she was still asleep. I needed the reassurance.
The picture was of Tony holding Payton’s hand in his, and he was kissing her forehead. Tears stung my eyes as I saw the purpling bruises on her face and neck. I typed out a quick reply, and shoved it back into my pocket.
It killed me that I couldn’t be with both of them, but I knew Payton would want me to be exactly where I am. She would never want our child alone when she was this new and small.
“This is Eleanor. She’s our most senior NICU nurse. She’ll help you get…” He looked at me questioningly.
I smiled. The first genuine smile I’d had since we left her parents’ house. He wanted her name. Thinking about the discussion we had when she told me how it was going to be lifted my spirits a bit. “Harleigh Belle.”