Total pages in book: 131
Estimated words: 121854 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 487(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121854 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 487(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
Aodhan wanted to laugh at the confession, but his voice was strangled, a dark hand squeezing his throat. Blue. A fraught mental cry.
I have you, Adi. No one will ever fucking touch you without your consent again. I’ll chop off their hands, and then I’ll string up their bones in a necklace I’ll wear like some barbarian out of myth, until they call me Illium of the Bones.
A splutter of laughter did leave Aodhan’s lips then, summoned by Illium’s unrelenting determination not to leave him in a lightless box, hostage to his nightmares.
There you go. Illium continued to speak into his mind. That’s my Adi. Keep on walking back to me, even if I’m drunk and might wear a necklace of bones, and may possibly have promised Smoke she could sleep cuddled up on my chest if she’d stop sulking.
Aodhan’s laugh was a deeper sound this time, the hands with which he clutched at Illium urgent. Gathering him close, Illium wrapped his wings around him and stroked his back while rubbing his cheek against Aodhan’s own.
Around Aodhan’s ankles twined a body soft and small, Smoke making little sounds that seemed to be an attempt to calm and soothe.
Even your cat knows I’m having a breakdown.
You are not having a breakdown—you’re having a breakthrough. There’s a difference.
A long squeeze, the hug held until Aodhan’s muscles were no longer locked in stone, and he could breathe again, speak again. “I conquered this,” he gritted through clenched teeth, breaking out of Illium’s hold to stride to the huge living room windows that overlooked their glittering city. “I worked with healers to make sure I conquered this!”
Smoke at his feet again, the sounds she was making more impatient now.
He picked her up out of habit and she cuddled into him, once again a purring machine. He couldn’t yell now that he was stroking her, so his next words were low and hoarse. “I conquered this,” he repeated, and beneath the anger was a plea.
* * *
* * *
Illium’s heart twisted.
Aodhan was the strongest angel he knew—and that included the entire Cadre. None of them had survived what had been done to Aodhan, come out compassionate and free of cruelty. Aodhan could’ve turned twisted in the aftermath of his kidnapping and torture—instead, he made artworks of transcendent beauty, and he created small things designed specially for children’s soft hands.
“Mea lux,” Illium murmured, calling Aodhan his light in a language that had been ancient even when they were children; but it was no comment on Aodhan’s skin or hair. No, it was an endearment that encapsulated Adi’s heart—and who he was to Illium. “You beat those bastards a long time ago.” Walking over to stand next to Aodhan, he spread his wing over the other man’s back and wings.
“Not if I’m falling into the abyss at having you touch me. You, Blue.” His voice cracked, shattered, splintered glass at their feet. “The one person I would lie down and allow to put a blade to my throat if you asked.”
“I didn’t realize you were into that type of kink.” Illium rubbed his thumb absently over his belt buckle. “To be honest, I don’t know if I’m into knives. Not in bed anyway.”
“Illium.”
Lips kicking up on one side at his best friend’s exasperated tone, he reached out to delicately stroke the arches of Aodhan’s wings…and saw it, the shiver that turned into a shudder, the weakened and aged tendrils of darkness attempting to take root once more.
But it was the lost look in Aodhan’s eyes that cut him off at the knees. Since the day they’d crossed the boundary from friends alone to lovers, too—in heart if not body—Aodhan had been the stronger one, while Illium hesitated, scared in a way he couldn’t explain. He’d loved that strange imbalance for what it meant for his friend’s healing.
And he hated that the pathetic fuckers who’d taken advantage of Aodhan’s inherent sense of honor had dared reach out of the past and hurt him again by making him question his own strength. Moving his hand to lie flat on Aodhan’s wing, on those soft feathers that glittered as bright as diamonds, he said, “I spoke to Keir. While he was in China to work with Jinhai.”
Aodhan’s expression was a study in confusion at this apparent change in subject, but the compassion in him—sweet, haunting, a fucking testament to his refusal to bow down to evil—won over his pain. “How is Jinhai? I wanted to visit him, but both Keir and Suyin suggested it was better I wait, so that he bonds more tightly to Suyin and those others of her court who are looking after him.”
“Yes, they told me the same.” Illium continued to hold the shattered glass of Aodhan’s gaze. “Keir says the boy came close to imprinting on us, like a lost chick.” Because they were the only people in his shrunken world who’d not only seen him, but who’d treated him with kindness. “Better that he imprints on Suyin, so she can control him as he grows into his power.”