Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 83994 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 420(@200wpm)___ 336(@250wpm)___ 280(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83994 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 420(@200wpm)___ 336(@250wpm)___ 280(@300wpm)
I put a hand on his shoulder. He leans toward me. I move closer and take some of his weight. He’s not crying—I don’t think a man like him could cry even if he wanted to—but he seems so broken and drained.
I doubt he’s ever been so vulnerable before. And I doubt he’d ever let this pain show around anyone else.
“It’s alright,” he says through his teeth. One arm wraps around my shoulders and pulls me against him. “It’ll be okay. The family’s going to survive.”
“But what about you? I know this means your life is about to change.”
“I don’t matter.”
“You do though. You have a choice. You have…” I shake my head and nuzzle in close. “It isn’t too late.”
“It’s been too late for a very long time, baby.”
I hug him tight. Even though I’m angry. Even though I feel like he’s been misleading me for years.
He needs me right now.
After a moment, I draw him down to the bed. He pulls me tight to his chest, spooning me over the sheets. His heat is like a furnace and his breathing is slow and steady. I can feel how tired he is and I know there’s only going to be more sleepless nights and long days ahead. He made it pretty clear that when his father passed, the Whelan Clan would be in a really precarious position.
But above all that, Declan’s still a man who lost his father.
Any normal human would grieve.
Despite how hard he tried, Declan’s a person. He’s got emotions, even if he struggles to bury them deep.
“What can I do?” I turn to face him. I brush my fingers across his cheek and kiss him lightly. A part of me wonders why I’m even doing this, but I can’t help it.
“Nothing. There’s nothing anyone can do.” He returns my kiss. “Life is going to change. I wish it wouldn’t, but it will. You should prepare yourself for that.”
I nod even though I don’t really understand what’s going to happen. “You can handle this. I know how hard you’ve already been working.”
He smiles slightly but says nothing. His arms hold me tight and I stay there locked against his muscular chest.
Wondering why I’m showing kindness to a man who I barely even know.
Chapter 21
Casey
He was right.
Everything changes.
Things move fast after that night. I want to press him on a thousand different things but Declan practically disappears from my life. We move into the Whelan family house so that he can be close to the center of power, and I’m practically forgotten. I’m stuck in a series of rooms I barely recognize, surrounded by staff I don’t know, and caught feeling both unwanted, foolish, and totally useless.
I keep showing up for work. Every morning there’s a Whelan family driver waiting for me at the curb. I keep thinking this will be the day when Declan finally decides to come into the office, but instead I’m left at my desk all day with nothing to do.
I’m not sure how I feel about it.
Part of me thinks it’s better this way. Let him drown in his family’s business. The man kept important pieces of my life from me. Who knows what else he’s hiding?
But another part of me misses him. A stupid, insane part of me, but still. I miss his taste and his arms. I miss the way he calls me Ms. Brennan and orders me around like an asshole.
I actually miss Boss Bastard. Which is patently insane.
I find myself wondering what Natalie would say about all this. Probably something snarky and hilarious. She’d be able to make me see my situation more clearly. Or at least she’d be really funny about it.
But now that she’s gone, it’s like I’m trapped on an island.
I can’t turn to Sheila for help. She’s been a part of this farce for years. I’m not sure exactly how involved, but it’s clear she’s at least known about my connection to the Whelans.
And I don’t have any other close friends. It’s always been Natalie or nothing.
Which leaves the Whelan family.
Declan’s brothers aren’t any help. Cormac and Seamus are both married and have their own families to deal with. They’re hardly ever around. Finn seems nice enough, but he’s distant and aloof. I don’t really know what to think about him.
My only chance at learning more about my situation is Declan’s mother.
She’s an incredible woman. In the days after her husband’s death, it’s clear she’s suffering immensely, but she hides it extremely well. There’s a constant flow of well-wishers coming through the house, most dropping off flowers and meals and condolences. Siobhan greets them all like old friends and acts like she’s got hours to spare for each and every visitor. I suspect she’s also helping Declan cement his hold on the family’s illicit business, but they typically hide all that from me.