Cara Dee – Read Books Online Free Ebooks good best novels to read

Cara Dee – Read Books Online Free Ebooks good best novels to read http://www.ilovenovels.com Fri, 03 Apr 2026 23:14:13 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 http://www.ilovenovels.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/favicon.png Cara Dee – Read Books Online Free Ebooks good best novels to read http://www.ilovenovels.com 32 32 The Memories We Made – Remembering Us – Part 1 (The Game #15) Read Online Cara Dee http://www.ilovenovels.com/the-memories-we-made-remembering-us-part-1-the-game-15-read-online-cara-dee Fri, 03 Apr 2026 23:14:13 +0000 http://www.ilovenovels.com/the-memories-we-made-remembering-us-part-1-the-game-15-read-online-cara-dee Genre: BDSM, Contemporary, Erotic, M-M Romance Authors: Cara Dee Series: The Game Series by Cara Dee
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Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 82201 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)

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The Game Series, #16 • Standalone Duet • Book 1 of 2 • Hurt/Comfort • Family • Dom/Dom • Opposites Attract • Angst
Ash and Nathan’s story begins on a blistering day in Philadelphia, with a rough-around-the-edges scaffolder yelling outside the office of a trauma specialist. Psychology major Nate decides to give this brute a piece of his mind.

The friends who told me to move on didn’t have a clue what they were talking about. Moving on wasn’t happening—and I knew that better than anyone after being trapped at the bottom of a heartbreak for an excruciating year now, where I had nothing but crippling anxiety and our memories to torture me. Everything we’d built, the family we’d created, the pictures, that damn National Parks passport, the ring on my finger, echoes of laughter and promises… I’d been there, watching you, being your test subject, as you’d become the rope rigger you were today. With amusement glinting in your eyes, you’d called me the OG bondage bunny. Me, the primal predator, who thought about chasing brats through the woods, your bondage bunny.

We’d given each other laugh lines. We’d loved so damn hard. We’d stood in front of our friends and family and vowed to fight for us forever.

Almost twenty years together. Four beautiful children.

What the hell happened, Nate?

You didn’t have to tell me. I already knew. I was a coward. I’d let my fears hold us back.

The question now was if I still stood a chance, because…frankly, living without you was impossible.

I’d do anything to get you back

*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************

CHAPTER 1

Twenty years ago

Philadelphia

Ash Riley

“Oi, what’s the goddamn holdup?” I yelled down toward the sidewalk. “We still don’t have a midrail on fourth!”

“Your old man left!” Davey hollered back.

I widened my arms. “That doesn’t answer my fuckin’ question, man!”

But where the fuck had Dad gone off to? He’d told me just last night I wasn’t ready to end my apprenticeship yet, and now he’d left me alone with his crew? In triple-digit heat in the middle of fucking Philly?

“There’s somethin’ goin’ on inside!” Garcia yelled. “They stopped construction, and someone wants to talk to you!”

Oh, for the love of⁠—

I grabbed my discarded tee and tucked it into my belt, then started climbing down four flights of scaffolding—when all I wanted was to hit the nearest pool. I bet my brother wasn’t sick at all. He was probably over at our folks’ place enjoying said pool.

Once I was back to ground level, Garcia filled me in while I wiped sweat off my forehead and headed to the entrance of the office building. I didn’t know what he meant by construction stopping, because approximately fourteen million power tools were currently running and quite possibly making this the loudest neighborhood in the city.

But Garcia explained that the problem concerned the offices near the front of the building, and several people working in there had complaints. One of them wanted to talk to “whoever’s in charge” too.

“Are they fucking joking?” I asked incredulously. “Did they think fixin’ the entire exterior and the lobby of an old building was gonna be quiet? And for the record, I’m not in charge. We’re the quietest crew around for miles.” We weren’t doing any construction.

“I don’t know what to tell you, man.” He shrugged, and he pointed toward the elevators. “One of the other guys told me to get the ‘loud, shirtless fucker shouting outside the windows on the fourth floor.’”

I rolled my eyes and stepped into the car.

Go figure, Garcia smirked and stayed in the lobby.

Whatever. I didn’t need to defend myself to nobody. I was following orders. And if someone bitched about shit being loud right now, they didn’t need to talk to a lowly apprentice working for his old man’s scaffolding business. They needed to talk to the contractors or whoever owned the building.

The elevator dinged on the fourth floor, and I stepped out, only to crash into a lanky suit guy.

“Shit, my bad⁠—”

“Oh my God, I’m sorry,” he blurted out and stumbled back. He pushed up his glasses and widened his eyes—and lemme tell ya, those eyes wandered. He looked to be my age, maybe a little younger.

He was hot, in that dorky yuppie way. Dark hair, a little wavy, warm features, blue eyes. Nice, cut jaw.

I flexed a little bit. That was an eight-pack, not six. They deserved all the attention.

“Wait, it’s you.” He narrowed his eyes next. “You’re the guy screaming outside my boss’s office window.”

I lifted my brows and held the elevator doors open when they tried to close. “First of all, I don’t fuckin’ scream unless the Eagles are losing⁠—”

“In other words, you’re a screamer.”

Whoa. Was this suit giving me hate-speech attitude?

It was my turn to narrow my eyes. “If I were you, I wouldn’t piss off the guy you need something from in order to please your dumbass boss. And on that note, what the hell is he expectin’? For the building to be renovated quietly?”

That made the yuppie glare, and he pointed down the hallway. “She is currently consoling a wife who just lost her husband to cancer. All her patients have suffered trauma or are drowning in grief, and there you are, right outside her window, shouting about midrails, toeboards, and couplers—whatever the fuck that is—and it’s as if you’re physically unable of uttering a single sentence without saying motherfucker, bitch-ass shit, and goddammit.”

Fuck me, he was getting hotter by the second.

I’d always liked them feisty…

“That sounds terrible,” I stated. “She shoulda rescheduled the sessions. We’ve had this job booked for months, so I’m assuming youse’ve been warned.” I leaned closer to him. “That’s three sentences without cursing, motherfucker.”

He snapped his mouth shut and clenched his jaw.

I had nothing else to say, so I backed into the elevator again and⁠—

“You ate paste as a kid, right?”

My hand shot up and caught the doors when they tried to close again before I even knew it, and I stared at him, wondering if I’d heard him right. Had he just implied I was fucking stupid?

“Seriously,” he said, stepping closer. “Do you lack compassion altogether? Have you never lost anyone? We can’t just reschedule sessions with patients who depend on us in the darkest periods of their lives. Are we supposed to sit in there till five PM every day and apologize for your language to patients who’ve just lost a loved one or struggle to get past a robbery⁠—”

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Let’s Be Honest – Camassia Cove Universe Read Online Cara Dee http://www.ilovenovels.com/lets-be-honest-camassia-cove-universe-read-online-cara-dee Wed, 07 Jan 2026 10:40:22 +0000 http://www.ilovenovels.com/lets-be-honest-camassia-cove-universe-read-online-cara-dee Genre: Alpha Male, Erotic Authors: Cara Dee Advertisement

Total pages in book: 64
Estimated words: 62095 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 310(@200wpm)___ 248(@250wpm)___ 207(@300wpm)

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Standalone • MF • PT/client • Family • No Angst • Small Town Romance • Health/Weight loss
Get your heart pumping at Quinn’s Fitness Center, where Ethan and Natalie give as good as they get, all while…frustrations are building up.

He was perfect at first. I was ready to name my firstborn after my personal trainer. I mean, he was saying all the right things! He was making sense. He didn’t define health by a certain weight or push me to become someone else. He was only interested in helping me find my happy medium.

Then I started getting to know the real Ethan Quinn. Away from clients, away from work, he was pompous, arrogant, and such a snob. One day, he literally told me he was everyone’s type.

I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. We’d promised each other honesty, so yeah. Screw it.

But…there was something about him. I got the feeling he was hiding a part of himself—or he was in the middle of figuring himself out—so I kept going back to his gym. I kept wanting to talk to him, to spend time with him…

Aw, crap.

This story takes place in Cara Dee’s Camassia Cove Universe, a fictional town where all books stand on their own, unless otherwise stated, and the reader can jump in wherever they want

*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************

CHAPTER 1

Natalie Nolan

“Have I mentioned I’m glad you came to your senses and moved here?”

I grinned into the mug and took a sip of my tea. She’d only mentioned that about a dozen times since I’d arrived a couple weeks ago.

“Yes, but you can tell me again.”

“I’m so, so, so, so glad!” She laid it on thick with a big smile, and she sat down so we shared a corner of her kitchen island. “My baby sister, finally in the same state as me.” She opened her giant messy planner that kept her life organized. It had countless Post-its and colorful tabs sticking out of it. “Now I just gotta find a date we can all get together for dinner.” She slid her pen down the dates of this week, then the next.

She was a busy woman.

Hell, everyone in the family was busy. Chloe ran a bed-and-breakfast, her husband was a successful author, and the kids… They were all grown up now, ’cause Chloe had started early. The twins had a year left in high school, which was freaking nuts. My eldest nephew, Gage, lived in Vancouver and worked all the time, and the second eldest, Gray, had recently turned Chloe into a grandmother. Gray and his boyfriend were in the middle of adopting two boys, and my sister could not be happier.

Actually, her stepdaughter had given birth to twins not too long ago either, so make that four grandchildren.

She had everything up here in rainy Washington.

I was still on the fence. I’d left New York for a tiny town north of Seattle.

Then again, New York hadn’t really suited me either.

“Okay, I give up,” Chloe sighed. “It looks like the next day everyone’s in town is for Jayden’s birthday in September.”

That was okay. “He’s turning nine, right?”

“Nine, goin’ on nineteen—that sweetheart.” My sister was a big fan of the boys, obviously.

When I’d first heard that Gray and Darius were adopting, I’d automatically assumed babies. My nephew had always wanted a big family, not unlike the one he’d grown up in.

I wasn’t what one might call the jealous type, and I would never begrudge Gray all the happiness in the world. That said, when my nephew, at the age of not even twenty-two, suddenly settled down with a nice man and two kids, you could say it’d lit a fire under my ass.

I didn’t care about the nice man, but I wanted children, and my biological clock was ticking like crazy.

At thirty-four, I’d contemplated not having kids at all. I’d been semi-content in my shoebox of a Manhattan apartment, and work stole all my time. And now, just a year later, hello, baby fever.

Maybe I would never get as far as Chloe; she had the big house and the marriage dreams were made of, and that was okay. As long as I could start shopping for baby shoes and onesies soon.

I had a plan.

The smell of the apple pie Chloe had in the oven was not going to help me with that plan.

“When are the twins comin’ home? I need them to eat that pie before I cave,” I said.

Chloe glanced over at the oven then back at me and raised a brow. “One slice won’t kill you, doll.”

Right, but my plan.

I smiled, more than a little excited, and figured now was a good time to break the news. “Here’s the thing. You know how you’ve been on my case about having kids since I was basically in kindergarten? Well, now I’m ready.”

Her eyes widened and brimmed with hope. “No! You’re not jokin’, are you? You can’t joke about that with me, Nat.”

I smirked. “I’m not joking.”

“Oh, this is amazing!” She flew out of her chair and hugged me.

I couldn’t help but laugh as I hugged her back. I’d had a feeling she’d be happy.

“What route are you going to take? I know better than to ask if you’re seein’ someone.” She put her hands on my arms and leaned back, eyeing me in a way that made it clear she was trying to be sure.

“Yeah, no, definitely not seeing anyone,” I confirmed. I wasn’t ready. “I wanna find a donor.”

She pursed her lips and nodded, then sat down again. “You’ll make a wonderful mama. And I’ll be there for every doctor’s appointment, you hear?”

I squeezed her hands in mine, more grateful than I could express. “My problem is, I have to lose some weight first. My doctor said it might be difficult for me to go through a pregnancy at this stage, so…”

Even if I hadn’t planned on becoming a parent, it was time. I couldn’t blame grief anymore. Two years had passed since I’d lost Brad, and I’d lost myself in the process too. I’d gained so much weight.

I’d been bigger my whole life, and it’d been… Eh. We all had our ups and downs. Yeah, sure, I’d doubted myself, thought I was ugly, a big fat cow, all that crap. Then I’d grown up. Acceptance had hit me in waves in my twenties, and I’d even started enjoying looking in the mirror. But the last two years, health-wise, could be summed up as one failure after another. I needed professional help.

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I’ll Tell You What You Are Read Online Cara Dee http://www.ilovenovels.com/ill-tell-you-what-you-are-read-online-cara-dee Thu, 25 Dec 2025 22:02:43 +0000 http://www.ilovenovels.com/ill-tell-you-what-you-are-read-online-cara-dee Genre: BDSM, Contemporary, Erotic, M-M Romance, Novella Authors: Cara Dee Series: Series by Cara Dee
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Total pages in book: 31
Estimated words: 29591 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 148(@200wpm)___ 118(@250wpm)___ 99(@300wpm)

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M/M Standalone BDSM Top/Top Friends to Lovers Takedown Primal Play
Buckle in for a wild trip down to South Florida, where Reid has lost all patience with his best friend. The overthinking has to stop. He’s ready to tell Max exactly who he is.

Well, that was a big fat failure. Never mind the drama that’d made me want to shut down our kink community the past few years—the community Reid and I had started together over a decade ago. It was okay. Hell, it was liberating to walk away. Except for the one hope I’d held out of actually figuring out my own identity in the lifestyle. That hadn’t happened. I was as clueless as ever, and now I was done.

I was gonna grow old and die alone and vanilla.

I mean, sure, I had some deep-rooted desires, but what was I supposed to do? Ask my best friend of twenty-five years if he could do me a solid and hunt me down in the woods? That would go over well. No, that fantasy belonged in the darkest corners of my mind.

Reid and I had a vacation coming up in a few days, where we’d catch up with kinkster friends and have some fun, and then I was closing this chapter.

Maybe I’d take up…bird watching or something

*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************

CHAPTER 1

Max Jensen

This was weird. Reid and I took the elevator up to the attic on the fourth floor, and we didn’t speak. He pushed the metal gate open when the elevator stopped, and I dug out my keys.

This space right here had been our coat check slash changing room before events for eleven years. The bathrooms were here too, same with a tiny-ass office where we kept members’ records and the community’s bookkeeping.

I remembered when Reid and I had stood in that little room after we’d just received the keys to the place. Back in…Christ, 2011…? Yeah. Different times. Different me.

I unlocked the door to the main area, and we stepped inside…

The attic stretched along the length of the building, about a hundred feet, with a vaulted ceiling, window nooks that’d become seating areas, and a long line at the center with kinky furniture. Sawhorses, four-poster beds, a station for suspension bondage, two crosses, a rope web, and a pillory.

We had twenty-seven days to clear it all.

Smaller implements like floggers, whips, rope, paddles, and gags were stacked in boxes along the walls.

In two months, a graphic design agency was moving in.

I walked over to the nearest seating area, consisting of four chairs and a low table. Reid followed me, and we sat down and just looked out over the place.

Eleven fucking years.

The failure of shutting down weighed heavily at the same time as it felt liberating to finally walk away.

Our community hadn’t been thriving in…fuck, three or four years. It’d been one headache after another. One fight after another. So much goddamn drama. And Reid and I were done.

We had seventy-four members, and about twenty of them had listed themselves as attending the meeting tonight.

The rest would get a lengthy message on our Discord server first thing in the morning.

Old Town is closing. We thank you for these eleven kinky years…but now y’all can fuck off.

Okay, I wouldn’t be adding the last part.

I leaned back and rubbed my forehead.

Reid picked up a piece of paper from the table and eyed it.

“What is it?” I asked.

His mouth twitched. “The list of kinks members filled in. This is yours.”

Oh. I must’ve forgotten it here.

In an attempt to revive some of the old energy that once filled the space, we’d printed out a list of kinks to try out. We’d wanted a weekend-long event where members could explore something new and have fun.

Then I’d opened my email to find the monthly invoice for rent due, and I’d stared at it for the longest time. I’d called Reid, fucking exhausted, and asked what the hell we were even doing anymore.

The end had snuck up on us, but it wasn’t like we hadn’t seen it coming. Reid had renegotiated our lease two years ago, going from six months to monthly, because we’d known deep down there would come a day when we were just fed up. At which point, we wouldn’t wanna be stuck with this place for several months.

Reid’s forehead creased. “You listed primal/rough as somethin’ you wanna try?”

Oh fuck.

“Gimme that.” I leaned forward and extended my hand.

He chuckled, confused. “You’ve taken part in primal events for years.”

Yeah, as a Top.

I’d been thinking lately… Or going through an identity crisis lately…

“I checked it as an example when we handed them out,” I lied. I crumpled the paper and tossed it in another chair.

Truth be told, I’d probably take a long break from kink after this.

Well, after our trip. Reid and I had our annual get-together with some friends coming up, but then I was done. Almost twenty years in the lifestyle, and what did I have to show for it? A string of failed relationships that’d never felt right in the first place.

I’d come to the conclusion that I wasn’t a high-protocol Master, I wasn’t a Daddy Dom, and I wasn’t a rope rigger. Three fetishes I’d tried to convince myself I identified with. But no more. I’d never had that feeling of…this is it, it’s clicking, this is who I am.

I’d turned myself into a case of projection. The years I’d studied and had very little structure and security in my life, I’d overcompensated in kink and claimed I was a Master. Because I’d needed the ground extra solid. Then my life had turned around; I’d become more comfortable, work had been great, my career had taken off, and so I’d mellowed out and found something exciting in the world of Daddies and Littles.

I sighed and checked my watch.

Hopefully, no one was late today. I wanted to get this over with.

We had buyers for the furniture, and we’d let the members grab whatever toys they wanted.

I felt no emotional attachment to anything here anymore. As long as Reid and I didn’t lose touch, I was good.

He’d been my one and only constant. Once upon a time, he’d gone to high school with my big brother, and he’d been cool, calm, and collected even then.

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Collision of Winters (Hillcroft Group #4) Read Online Cara Dee http://www.ilovenovels.com/collision-of-winters-hillcroft-group-4-read-online-cara-dee Sun, 12 Oct 2025 20:52:11 +0000 http://www.ilovenovels.com/collision-of-winters-hillcroft-group-4-read-online-cara-dee Genre: Alpha Male, Dark, Taboo Authors: Cara Dee Series: Hillcroft Group Series by Cara Dee
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Total pages in book: 58
Estimated words: 56278 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 281(@200wpm)___ 225(@250wpm)___ 188(@300wpm)

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The Hillcroft Group #4 • Standalone • Age Gap • DD/lb • Forced Proximity • Foster Family
Some wars are matters of the heart and don’t require conventional weapons. And now, it’s time to let the two sides collide.

He’d kidnapped me. That was all I had to say. The man who’d been sort of my foster brother since I was a kid had actually kidnapped me. End of story. Okay, maybe not the end, but I’d always felt too exposed around Wade, and no wonder. He was perfect. Older, composed, funny, super kind to me, former Army, a successful doctor, a Dom… I’d rather not put my foot in my mouth by rambling. I was just a failure anyway. So, yeah. I’d be his captive in a remote cabin in freaking Alaska until he gave up and realized I couldn’t be saved.

All I had to do was keep my mouth shut and not fall in love with him again

*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************

PROLOGUE

The Winters Curse

Wade Winters

Had I seen that picture on Chris’s desk before? I picked up the frame while I waited for him to arrive and studied the timid smile on Kayden’s face. Yaya was hugging his midsection, beaming like the proud grandmother she was to essentially everyone in the family. Well, those who were still with us.

The only thing I wanted to change was the timid part. I much preferred Kayden’s beaming smiles and mischievous grins, even more so because they were rare these days.

The thought of something happening to him put a rock in the pit of my stomach, and it was impossible not to think about the Winters Curse.

Unlike Chris, I had some memories left of our biological parents—and our baby sister. I remembered Juliana had cried a lot. It’d annoyed my five-year-old self to pieces. A newborn sister—what was I supposed to do with her? She hadn’t been able to catch a football, nor had she listened to me.

Chris hadn’t been much better as a toddler.

How untroubled we’d been back then. Life had been all about sneaking cookies, waiting for Dad to come home from another deployment, playing catch, and begging Mom for the next time I’d be able to see my much cooler cousin Quinlan.

Then one night, when Chris and I were at a sleepover at Quin’s house, Uncle Arthur and Aunt Clara told us something bad had happened.

Chris and I never saw our parents or Juliana again, and sleepovers with Quinlan suddenly became permanent when Arthur took us in.

This was bad enough, wasn’t it? The tragedy was supposed to stop there. We’d suffered enough loss.

But fast-forward to the year I turned eleven. Arthur and Clara were shot dead in broad daylight in New York. Quinlan joined the orphans club at the age of twenty, and the last sibling of our parents’ generation stepped forward to become our home. Yaya and Quin had been in the middle of their own grief, but they’d set everything aside to make sure Chris and I didn’t lose ourselves in our rage.

Although Yaya was technically our aunt, she’d earned the nickname of a grandmother long before I’d been born. Her brothers had called her that because she’d acted like a grandma to everyone. She did that now too, and though she’d never admit to having a favorite, we knew Kayden was special to her.

Now, with someone coming for Chris—and possibly Kayden…?

If anything happened to either of them, the damn curse was real, and I was going to⁠—

The door opened behind me, and I was brought back to the present by Chris entering his office.

“Sorry I’m late. My briefing took longer than I thought it would,” he said. “Why do you look pissy?”

Deep breaths.

I didn’t know what to say, so I just put the photo back on the desk and cleared my throat.

“Ah.” He figured it out when he saw the picture. “Nothin’s gonna happen to him.”

“Or you,” I added.

He smirked. “Or me. This ain’t my first rodeo.”

That was hardly reassuring.

“Just fill me in,” I said. “When do you ship out?”

He winced and rubbed the back of his neck. “You know I can’t tell you.”

I clenched my jaw but said nothing, and I leaned back against the desk. Being on a need-to-know basis didn’t usually bother me. I had my job, and Chris had his. But this was different.

“This is killin’ you, innit?” He cocked his head.

I frowned. “What, being left behind for something like this? What the fuck do you think?”

That seemed to confuse him. “You haven’t seen combat in years.”

It didn’t matter.

Besides, this was personal. “It’s you they’re coming for, Chris. It’s not a random op.”

He inclined his head, conceding.

“Don’t fucking get killed,” I told him.

He deflected with humor, as always. “You’re more likely to get killed once Kayden figures out why we’re keeping him in Alaska.”

Well. He’d learn one of the reasons. It was a two-birds-one-stone situation.

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Little Did We Know (The Mclean Tales #1) Read Online Cara Dee http://www.ilovenovels.com/little-did-we-know-the-mclean-tales-1-read-online-cara-dee Tue, 05 Aug 2025 19:54:20 +0000 http://www.ilovenovels.com/little-did-we-know-the-mclean-tales-1-read-online-cara-dee Genre: BDSM, Erotic, M-M Romance, Novella Authors: Cara Dee Series: The Mclean Tales Series by Cara Dee
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Total pages in book: 36
Estimated words: 34800 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 174(@200wpm)___ 139(@250wpm)___ 116(@300wpm)

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The Mclean Tales #1 • BDSM • Friendship • Found Family • Humor • Origin Story

At Mclean House, everyone knows about the eight founding members. If you need help with anything in the community, you send them a message or approach them at the house. Lucas is the kind Daddy Dom with patience for days, Macklin the funny switch who sure knows how to switch sides as well, and Greer is the primal Master with a huge heart and a devil on his shoulder. Colt has that devil on his shoulder too, actually. Lucian, another Master, is into high protocol and creative punishments. Penelope loves to host events and runs a tight ship. Last but definitely not least, the men who came up with the idea to start a community. River and Reese are the scary, sadistic twin brothers—until you get to know them and see the sweethearts under the ink, of course.
The eight founders find their happily ever afters in the Game Series, but this book isn’t about that. It’s about what happened before. The story very few know so far. How they met, how they became friends, and how they started exploring together.
So let’s go back to the beginning. It’s a cold night in Baltimore, and Lucas is about to catch the scowl of someone at an event where he feels completely out of place.

Author’s note: Are you new to the Game Series? This is the perfect book to jump right in and get to know the main characters.

Disclaimer: No fighter pilots or Marines were injured by each other’s insults in the making of this book, River apologizes in advance if he offended any vampires or people from Chicago, and Lucian solemnly swears that his cleaning service didn’t find anything embarrassing at his place after the night they all remember, except possibly something that belongs to Greer.

Disclaimer two: Sorry for lying. River isn’t apologizing for anything

*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************

CHAPTER 1

Lucas West

This was…new.

I cleared my throat and looked around the club, a stark contrast to any of the kink events I’d visited so far. This was so underground. Literally. A massive basement designed to keep screams contained. A proper BDSM club with a bar at the center and the walls lined with stalls and furniture I’d never seen in real life.

Baltimore had a wild kink scene, that was for sure.

I’d wanted to see pain-play, and it looked like I was going to experience a whole lot of it.

I was still figuring out how to get a bit of that pain for myself without making people think I was submissive. Or a masochist who wanted to get beatings. I just wanted to get fucked roughly when I bottomed.

I approached the bar, hoping I came off as assertive enough, and remembered the advice I’d seen online. Walk with purpose. So much advice. Do this, do that, act that way, “look Daddy-like.” It was dizzying.

What was Daddy-like anyway?

Christ, I wasn’t sure I fit in here. If the industrial music pounding its heavy bass through me wasn’t enough, the specific trend in clothes did it. I wasn’t part of leather culture, nor could I pull off latex, piercings, or harnesses. Moreover, I didn’t fucking want to. So…so be it. I’d be the odd man out in jeans and a shirt.

I walked past a big man holding his boy on a leash, both wearing leather, and the sub barked playfully at me.

I felt my mouth twist. He was cute. He reminded me of Joey. We’d made no sense together, but he’d introduced me to Daddykink last year. Something had just clicked, more so than when I’d backpacked in Amsterdam and stumbled into a BDSM club.

Ever since, I’d been on a quest. I wanted to find a Little and start exploring relationships. I could admit I was hungry for something deeper than casual hookups, at the same time as I wasn’t particularly interested in settling down anytime soon. Part of me was still hoping I’d wake up and discover I was a switch. It would be so much easier to find a Top who could rail me mercilessly if I also submitted. But it did nothing for me—except irritate me. When a Dom tried to get bossy, I automatically pushed back in annoyance.

When I got to the bar, I ordered a beer, and the bartender actually stamped the top of my hand.

What the fuck?

I eyed the smeared ink.

No play without supervision.

Because of one beer?

Oh, whatever. Safety was important, of course. Drinking and playing didn’t go hand in hand, in my experience. But one beer… If I could drive, I could play.

…without supervision.

Way to make me feel like a child. I might be dreading turning thirty, which was still a few years away, but I wasn’t a damn kid.

Sitting down on a stool, I glanced around the club and the mostly occupied scening stalls. It was only nine o’clock, but it seemed everyone had arrived already.

As I sipped my beer, I tried to estimate who was new and who was an established member of this community. This entire evening was supposed to be a “get to know us” kind of event, where everyone was welcome to join.

A handful of shy guys lingered along the walls, a sight that always struck something in me. But it would feel weird if I, as the newbie in this case, walked over in an attempt to make them feel welcome and included. I didn’t know anyone here. I’d talked to two members in the chat room, merely to confirm my attendance, and that was all.

Someone came up next to me and ordered a drink, and I turned my head to see a very handsome guy my age. Maybe a few years older. Cutting features, one of those bad-boy-looking guys. He looked the way I’d felt when he received a stamp on his hand. He studied the ink with a frown on his face, and his forehead wrinkled.

“What the ever-lovin’ fuck,” he muttered, the music almost drowning out his voice. He must’ve sensed my attention on him, because he turned to me and smashed his lips together. He wasn’t happy. “First they tell you rubbers are mandatory even if you’re in an established relationship, then they throw the no-asphyxiation rule in your face, and now I can’t have a drink without a babysitter if I wanna play?”

I smirked. “I take it you’re as new to this community as I am.”

He lifted his brows, one of which had a scar that looked fresh. “New and not stickin’ around. What bullshit is this?”

Oh, it wasn’t that bad. They were just…covering their asses, I supposed. I’d attended events where certain types of play were prohibited due to the risks.

“I wouldn’t know,” I replied. “A discussion thread led me to a chat room, and suddenly, I was signing up for an event in Baltimore.”

<<<<1 2 3 11 21 >36

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Remade (Hillcroft Group #3) Read Online Cara Dee http://www.ilovenovels.com/remade-hillcroft-group-3-read-online-cara-dee Thu, 12 Jun 2025 17:27:40 +0000 http://www.ilovenovels.com/remade-hillcroft-group-3-read-online-cara-dee Genre: Contemporary, M-M Romance, Suspense Authors: Cara Dee Series: Hillcroft Group Series by Cara Dee
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Total pages in book: 71
Estimated words: 68369 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 342(@200wpm)___ 273(@250wpm)___ 228(@300wpm)

<<<<1 2 3 11 21 >71

The Hillcroft Group #3 • MM • Age Gap • Military Romance • Hurt Comfort • Healing/Loss
This book picks up where Unmade left off and continues the story of Leighton Watts and Bo Beckett.

*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************

CHAPTER 1

October 2nd, 2024

Leighton Watts

Panic rose further when I heard heavy footfalls rustling through the foliage. In the corner of my eye, I spotted two operators entering our makeshift camp—if you could call it that—and I heard him. Beckett greeted Coach in a less-than-enthusiastic tone.

“The amount of stupid in this situation is off the fucking charts, man.”

“You wanna hash this out now?” Coach demanded. “Just say the word, but you better get your defense in order after what I’ve learned today.”

“What the fuck are you… Quinn’s here.” Beckett’s tone changed. “And…aw, shit.” He didn’t say anything else to Coach; he headed my way instead, and I wasn’t sure that was a good thing when I was seconds away from falling apart. He removed his helmet and came right up to me, then cupped my elbow and ushered me deeper into the forest. “Let’s go.”

“It’s him,” I croaked.

“I know.” He put the helmet on my head instead. “I thought I had time. I thought he was still on watch.”

I sniffled and did my best to stifle a sob behind my hand.

The ground slanted up a little, and we walked over the hill and even farther.

“Christ. You’re not supposed to be here, Leighton.” He draped an arm around my shoulders and squeezed me to him. “When Coach told me how you got dragged into the mess, I wanted to junk-punch him.”

“It wasn’t his fault,” I said, wiping at my cheeks.

“No, I’m sure you volunteered quicker than a bomb can explode outside Hillcroft,” he replied. “Doesn’t fucking matter.” He pulled me to a stop and cupped my face in his hands, and I felt so damn pathetic. I was full-on crying and saw no end to it.

My dad’s brother was here. I’d shaken his hand. He’d asked if we’d met before.

All my memories, fictional or not, hung in the balance, because reality had caught up to me. All the stories Mom had told me, where I was Dad’s wingman, where we went out on adventures together and saved the world…

I screwed my eyes shut, terrified they’d hate me.

Beckett sighed and hugged me to him.

“Can anyone see us now?” I asked hoarsely.

I dropped my water bottle on the ground.

“No.”

Thank fuck. Somehow, I had to compose myself. “When did you find out he was gonna be here?”

“Yesterday.” He removed the helmet, probably deeming things safe, and he pressed his lips to the side of my head. “Shira called him and Crew in after I requested more people with experience in close combat. Most of our operators are out on assignments. And I figured, fuck it, it wasn’t like you’d be around.”

I whimpered, a part of me still in disbelief. Dad’s brother.

In a way, it made my dad more real than he’d ever been.

“Shh…I got you.” He shushed me quietly and held me tighter. “Baby, I think we need to do this now. We have three hours of daylight left before we can… What?”

I was shaking my head and fucking breaking inside, because he couldn’t call me that. It hurt way too much, and it started a new round of pathetic crying.

“You can’t call me that,” I cried. “I was a fucking idiot—Coach knows about us, and we gotta stop. I slipped. And he s-said a senior operator and a recruit… They gotta draw the line somewhere, and he can’t allow it. And I get it. I get it.” I eased away so I could wipe at my face. Fucking hell, couldn’t I just stop crying? I was such a loser! “I know how you feel about relationships, so yeah, I⁠—”

“Okay, that’s enough.” He cupped my face again, and he made me look him in the eye. “I don’t care what was said or what Coach thinks. We’ll deal with that later, but I’ll make one thing clear, all right?”

I sniffled and peered up at him.

He smiled carefully and kissed my nose. “What you and I do is up to us and nobody else, you hear me?”

I nodded jerkily, drawing a ragged breath. I must look like a lunatic, but fuck me, I needed to hear that. I wasn’t ready to let him go. I wasn’t sure I ever would be.

“Do you wanna stop?” he asked.

I shook my head. “No. That’s the last thing I want.”

He smiled a little again. “Good. Same here.” He hauled me in for another hug, and I squeezed him back, letting the relief pour over me for a moment. The day he decided he’d had enough would come soon enough as it was. “When we get back to Hillcroft, I’mma tear you a new one for worrying me half to death today.”

“I’m sorry,” I croaked.

“Uh-uh. Not enough.” He pressed kisses to my hair and squeezed me even tighter, to the point where it started to hurt to have the Kevlar between us. “We were in the middle of raiding their safehouse when we discovered a second crew involved. And I swear, not ten minutes later, we got the call that a bomb detonated outside Hillcroft.”

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Unmade (Hillcroft Group #2) Read Online Cara Dee http://www.ilovenovels.com/unmade-hillcroft-group-2-read-online-cara-dee Wed, 04 Jun 2025 21:19:32 +0000 http://www.ilovenovels.com/unmade-hillcroft-group-2-read-online-cara-dee Genre: Contemporary, M-M Romance Authors: Cara Dee Series: Hillcroft Group Series by Cara Dee
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Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 84607 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 423(@200wpm)___ 338(@250wpm)___ 282(@300wpm)

<<<<1 2 3 11 21 >89

The Hillcroft Group #2 • MM • Age Gap • Action • Military Romance • Hurt/Comfort • Healing/Loss

Part of becoming a private military contractor was learning how to profile people.

Leighton Watts. Lonely as hell. A coward. An orphan. Twenty-four years old. Desperate to belong somewhere. Felt dead most of the time. Too much of a chicken to reach out to the family I never knew. Never asked for anything, because I was afraid to get rejected. In general, just a sorry sack of sadness.

Bo Beckett. Senior operator at the Hillcroft Group. Mentor of sixteen Hillcroft recruits, me included. Rough around the edges but patient and kind. Had sworn off relationships. Straight? Most likely. Early forties. Smoking hot. Angry. On a mission to hunt down his brother’s killer. Definitely pushy. He wanted me to get in touch with my dad’s family, and even more so when we discovered I had uncles who’d worked at Hillcroft. this freaked me out.

Another part of becoming a private military contractor was to focus on the training and not get caught up in an active operation—but in my defense, it wasn’t my fault someone tried to freaking kill me.

---------

This is book 2 of the Hillcroft Group series, and it ties together with book 3. You do not, however, need to read the first book, The Story of Danny Rose, to get the full enjoyment of Unmade. Book 2 and 3, Unmade and Remade, follow the same couple, Leighton and Bo

*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************

PROLOGUE

MARCH 30TH, 2018

March 30th, 2018

Leighton Watts

I remembered when I was…maybe five or six years old. I asked my mom why I didn’t have a dad—and that was the first time she shared the shortest bedtime story ever, but somehow it brought me enough comfort to put me to sleep.

It was the evening I became my unknown father’s wingman.

“You do have a dad, my love. He’s… I’m trying to find him. And the day you meet him, he will love you instantly. You know why? Because he once told me he couldn’t wait to have a little wingman by his side.”

Over the years, as I got older, the story changed.

I was twelve when I learned my dad was dead.

“But you know what, sweetheart? That means he can see you from heaven. He can look over you and be proud of his wingman day and night.”

Now I was old enough to understand that Mom had had a fling with a man she’d barely known, and she’d realized she was pregnant after he’d gone home again, leaving behind too little information for her to find him. At least for a few years.

It made me wonder how many men were out there who had no idea their one-night stand or fling the other year had resulted in a kid.

I scratched the side of my head and let out a breath.

The minister droned on and on about how God had a plan, and I was like, you don’t fucking say? Evidently, his plan had been to give my mom cancer and kill her off a week after I turned eighteen.

Say hi to my dad from me, I guess.

Who was gonna be my wingman?

I glanced around the pews, meeting the sad looks on the faces of Mom’s friends, her cousins, my aunt who’d offered her guest room to me, my half-drunken uncle, some coworkers, and our downstairs neighbor who had filled our fridge with casseroles the past two weeks.

None of them was wingman material.

I didn’t wanna fucking live with my aunt. She smelled weird and had four ferrets. She also loved to cook but had no idea she was horrible at it, and I didn’t wanna hurt her feelings by telling her I’d rather eat roadkill.

April 2nd, 2018

“How much for this?”

If someone asked me that again today, I’d shoot myself.

He was holding a box of Christmas ornaments.

“Just take them and get the fuck out,” I said. He was the last one lingering in the apartment.

I was done. I’d made three hundred bucks on trinkets, kitchenware, and our ratty living room furniture. The rest, I was moving to my new apartment next week. It was the last thing my mom had been able to help me with before she’d died. I had a semi-affordable studio in Arlington Mill waiting for me.

First and last time I ever let strangers come into my home and have them treat the living room like a thrift store. No number of casseroles could forgive my neighbor for her shitty idea. One creep had wanted to buy a picture of my mom. I’d forgotten to hide it in the closet in the hallway, which was my next destination.

I had to go through our personal crap before I could leave this apartment behind.

I swallowed hard as I locked the front door.

My chest felt tight, and I hated this so much. I didn’t wanna feel anything.

<<<<1 2 3 11 21 >89

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Alfie – Part 2 Read Online Cara Dee http://www.ilovenovels.com/alfie-part-2-read-online-cara-dee Mon, 10 Mar 2025 19:25:37 +0000 http://www.ilovenovels.com/alfie-part-2-read-online-cara-dee Genre: Angst, Contemporary, M-M Romance, Mafia Authors: Cara Dee Advertisement

Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 85322 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 427(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)

<<<<1 2 3 11 21 >88

MM Romance • Part 2 of 2 • Second Chances • Irish Mafia • Family • Hurt/Comfort • Age Gap • Revenge • Opposites Attract
When two broken hearts have reached their limits, it’s time for a mobster to play dirty in order to let the healing begin. Don’t worry, Alfie has a plan.

That very second, the moment West said those words…I almost shattered. Again. I’d put myself out there. I’d begged him for a second chance. I’d told him I’d give up everything for him and our kids—but he’d shot me down. And now, when I let him know that I was changing my last name back to O’Dwyer, he had the balls to say his name suited me better. He stood there in front of me, trying to act like his eyes weren’t burning with unshed tears, and admitted that he didn’t know how to let me go.

Not long after, I nearly broke into a million pieces again, when Dad called and said that Mom was in the hospital. That she’d been assaulted.

No words could describe the rage that flooded me, and I couldn’t hide it from West either.

He was about to find out just how far the Sons of Munster would go to avenge their own.

----------------

Alfie belongs in the Irish of Philly universe by Cara Dee. However, Alfie and West’s story has been written so it can be enjoyed to its full extent as a stand-alone

*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************

FIRST 12 CHAPTERS ARE IN """""ALFIE - PART 1"""""

PART II OF II

WHERE WE LEFT OFF

…IN PART I

Alfie Scott

Operation Win West Back.

What a joke. I was such a loser.

And now… Now, I had to close myself off again. If I was going to survive, I had to die emotionally.

“You should probably go,” I croaked. “You don’t want me with the Sons, and you won’t let me leave. What the fuck can I do? What the fuck can I do, West?”

He dropped his napkin into the takeout container and rose to his feet. Then he walked over to me, and I saw the way his eyes glistened with unshed tears.

West wasn’t a particularly emotional person, at least when it came to crying, so whenever that happened, it hurt me too.

“I once played a part in making you feel forced to become someone else,” he said quietly. “I won’t do that again. I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

I screwed my eyes shut, and he pressed a kiss to my temple before I heard him walking back inside the bedroom.

I’m sorry, sweetheart.

I’d waited all fucking night for him to surrender to the point where he let his old terms of endearment for me slip out. Baby and sweetheart were the grand prizes, followed by “my little hellion” and “sweet boy,” though the latter two were reserved for bedroom activities. And I got it. I got one of them as a parting gift.

I’m sorry, sweetheart.

CHAPTER 13

Alfie Scott

The following morning, I welcomed the numbness that’d set in after I’d bawled my eyes out half the night.

I got ready and drove over to my folks’ to pick up the kids, and I just hoped the empty feeling inside me lasted. Because dropping Trip and Ellie off at West’s was next. It was his week.

The kids were in a great mood and rambled about what they’d done with Nonna and Pop-Pop. I nodded and commented in all the right places. Mom, however, with curlers in her hair, eyed me in the way that let me know she was aware something was wrong. But she was still giving me grief, so I didn’t expect her to dig for answers anytime soon.

“Okay, kiddos, let’s get your butts out to Daddy’s,” I said. “I assume there’s a pool you wanna jump in.” I handed the car key over to Trip. Old Mr. Thomas was sitting outside reading his paper on the stoop, and he loved the kids. When his grandkids were here, they played with Trip and Ellie.

“Is Mr. Thomas outside?” Trip asked.

“You know it. I’ll be right behind you.”

“Okay.” Trip rushed out the door with his backpack after giving Mom a hug. “Bye, Nonna!”

“Ciao, topolino—see you soon! My beautiful Ellie, I’ll miss you.” Mom sent Ellie off with a hug too. “Be good, nena. Don’t forget your prayers!”

“Yeah, okay!” Ellie gigglesnorted and was already halfway down the stairs, and I reminded her to stay close to her brother.

“Not so fast, Alfredo.”

“Blergh.” I made a face. “I hate it when you call me that.” The only thing worse was, of course, when she’d full-named me as a kid. When she’d hollered, “Alfredo Alejandro O’Dwyer, you get back here right now!” my ass was cooked.

“Shut up. You have a beautiful name, after my grandfathers—God rest their souls,” she replied, doing the Sign of the Cross. “What’s wrong with you? Your face—it’s all…” She gestured at my face and said something, mixing Spanish with Italian. Cazzo this, revolú that.

“I didn’t sleep well, is all,” I said. “We gotta go.”

“You are lying to me again,” she told me. “It’s become a habit since you joined the mafia.”

“Yeah, aight. Good talkin’ to you, Ma.” I turned and headed down the stairs⁠—

“Wait!”

I threw an impatient look over my shoulder, only to see her hurrying out of the apartment in her robe and slippers. She stopped on the step above the one I was standing on, and she grabbed my face.

“You’re breaking my heart when you’re sad, my sweet baby boy—but you gotta walk away from the Sons!” She slipped her hands down to my shoulders and shook me a little. “Don’t you see? I’m sure that’s why you are sad—no? Did they hurt you?”

“No, they fucking didn’t, Mom,” I groaned, backing away from her paws.

“Don’t curse!” She wagged a finger in my face, and I was done. She cursed all the fucking time.

“Dad!” I yelled, my voice echoing in the hallway. “Come get your crazy!”

“Don’t call your mother crazy!” he yelled back from…probably the living room. “Giulia! Get’chur crazy ass back in here. Leave the boy alone!”

Cue mad heated rant from Mom in two languages I didn’t speak.

“How many times I gotta tell you!” I hollered at her. “I don’t fucking understand!”

She’d stopped trying to teach me Spanish when I’d struggled with English in second grade. Whatever shit I’d known before then had been forgotten. Well, most of it. I could tell when she was hauling out threats, kind of like now, so I checked out and left.

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Alfie – Part One Read Online Cara Dee http://www.ilovenovels.com/alfie-part-one-read-online-cara-dee Thu, 19 Dec 2024 11:50:18 +0000 http://www.ilovenovels.com/alfie-part-one-read-online-cara-dee Genre: Contemporary, M-M Romance, Mafia Authors: Cara Dee Advertisement

Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 89145 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 446(@200wpm)___ 357(@250wpm)___ 297(@300wpm)

<<<<1 2 3 11 21 >93

Part 1 of 2 • Second Chances • Irish Mafia • Family • Hurt/Comfort • Age Gap
Two broken hearts, pent-up anger, the right amount of Philly grit, painful yearning, and the complete inability to move on… This is Alfie and West’s love story. It begins in the wreckage they created.

Mom always warned me when I was a kid. Remember, mijo, stay away from the Sons of Munster, she’d say, wagging her finger at me and all. They were bad. They were mobsters. Then we’d head into church, and she’d hold my hand almost as tightly as she clutched the secret of who my biological dad was.

Since I’d been a bit of a screw-up all my life, it only made sense for me to blow it out of the park when I finally gave up on my marriage years and years later. Then again, who could blame me? I had two success stories—my kids. I loved them to pieces. But the man I shared them with—the love of my life—was moving on. I was also done pretending to be someone else, I was sick of the lies, and…to be honest, I was going through an identity crisis.

So, to hell with it. Since West wasn’t taking me back, maybe the Sons of Munster would accept me.

----------------

Alfie belongs in the This Life universe by Cara Dee. However, Alfie and West’s story has been written so it can be enjoyed to its full extent as a standalone.

*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************

PROLOGUE

Los Angeles

West Scott

Iremember the night we met. You poured me my beer and then glanced at the credit card I handed over, and you cocked a brow, smirked that smirk of yours, and said, “Fuckin’ Beaufort? Beaufort Weston Scott. Your folks do not love you, papi.”

Some say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Feed him, and he will love you forever. For me, the magic word was evidently annoyance. With that single line, you irritated the fuck out of me—and that was after I’d come into the bar and low-key stalked you for a couple of weeks already. So I’d been gearing up to buy you a beer and see if you were interested in going out. Then you insulted me to my face?

“How cool is your own name?”

“Very.” You slid the beer my way, still smirking. “I’m Alfie.”

Your definition of cool needed some work.

And yet…back then, I did find you incredibly fucking cool. There was something about you. You were brazen, bold, and so open. I mean, we were in a Philly bar in LA, surrounded by strangers from home who wanted to catch a game.

I’d been careful about bringing up my sexuality my whole life, and you were the complete opposite. For instance, the first time I saw you, you were slinging shots to a couple truck drivers, and it was, “Here you go, hon” this, and “How you doin’, gorgeous” that.

You were by no means flamboyant; if anything, you stood out as a cocky motherfucker with plenty of street-smarts who screamed danger. Even so, your flirtatious behavior left no doubt. You were gay, and you were so goddamn beautiful that I couldn’t look away from you.

I’m an ass man, so for me to get stuck on a pair of eyes was unheard of back then. You were, and are, a special culture cocktail. Irish father, half-Italian and half-Puerto-Rican mother. Your dark hair was short but messy, like you’d spent the day in the ocean, surfing, before starting your shift at the bar. You had a tan and some freckles. And those eyes… My God, Alfie.

A week or so later when we got to talking and you said you were a part-time model, I wasn’t surprised at all. It wasn’t your dream, you said, but the pay was too good to resist.

You were too good to resist for me. I can admit today, I was on edge about your age. Still in your college years, you’d moved to LA to make it big. But I just couldn’t hold back. I put a gag on the jaded fucker in me who said you’d never go for someone like me, and I asked you out.

Meeting you shook my entire existence. For the first time ever, I felt alive.

We went from zero to sixty in one summer. You were gonna be my forever. We were gonna raise a family together. We were gonna spend late nights laughing and fucking and dreaming. You quickly proved you were useless in the kitchen, so I handled that, and you sat on the counter and made up stories to make me laugh.

Boy, did you make me laugh.

You couldn’t say a sentence without cursing, you spoke with your hands, you were so animated, and your joy made those green eyes light up in the way I was addicted to.

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The Story of Danny Rose (Hillcroft Group #1) Read Online Cara Dee http://www.ilovenovels.com/the-story-of-danny-rose-hillcroft-group-1-read-online-cara-dee Wed, 30 Oct 2024 13:02:33 +0000 http://www.booksnovels.com/the-story-of-danny-rose-hillcroft-group-1-read-online-cara-dee Genre: BDSM, Dragons, Erotic, M-M Romance Authors: Cara Dee Series: Hillcroft Group Series by Cara Dee
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Total pages in book: 60
Estimated words: 57237 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 286(@200wpm)___ 229(@250wpm)___ 191(@300wpm)

<<<<1 2 3 11 21 >60

The Hillcroft Group, #1 | Standalone | Age gap | Military | DD/lb
“Try to read his file from the Army from another perspective. Less stone-faced, devoid of emotion, SAS operator and more as…oh, I don’t know, the loving, caring, nurturing Dom that you are.”

There was nothing like kicking off your vacation by realizing someone had broken in to your cabin. More than that, he was waiting when you arrived.

This young guy had plagued my dreams when I’d spent two months with his detachment a couple years ago. He was cocky, volatile, and resourceful. Resourceful enough to track me down, piss me off, and get himself invited for steaks and beer.

I was quickly going to learn there was a lot more to him than being a soldier with boundary issues, though. Starting the moment I accidentally spotted a small stuffed animal in his backpack.

He changed everything. The story of Danny Rose went from anecdotes I occasionally shared with recruits, to…becoming my whole bloody life.

*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************

1998

CHAPTER 1

Emerson Payne

Scenario:

You meet a couple Army-dropout twin brothers from Tennessee in a bar. You get to talking over a few pints, and they express their frustrated desire for adventure and danger. You see something in them. Strength, potential, brains. Especially the quiet twin. He’s a bloody genius. Calculating as fuck for his young age. The talker is sharp, creative, and just reckless enough. They wanna get out. They wanna see the world. And you’re drunk. You take them under your wing, and you start putting them through the same selection process that once made you a Special Forces operator.

Months later, you figure it’s time to give the boys a reward before they reach the next step in their training, so you head toward your cabin in the Appalachians for a relaxing weekend with no one around for miles. No TV, no news, a break from the headlines about whether the president has or has not had sexual relations with that woman. It’s a perfect day. Sky’s blue, summer’s almost here, roadside flowers are in bloom, the mountains surround you like majestic guardians, and you roll down your window to hear the forest sounds, to hear the gravel crunch under the tires of your truck. But then you see something just off the side of the road.

Smoke?

Islowed to a stop and furrowed my brow. “Wait here, boys.” I got out of the truck and glanced around me. If someone had thrown a cigarette out here… But as I got closer, it looked like a small flare or something that just puffed out white smoke.

I squatted down in front of it. No smell. There was a note, and I picked it up.

Where there’s smoke, Emerson George Payne…

I shot straight up and felt the tiny hairs rise on my arms and neck. Birds were chirping, insects were buzzing, I didn’t hear any branches breaking or the underbrush rustling. Was someone watching? If they were, they’d been perched someplace for a while. Possibly. Fuck.

Determining that the smoke wasn’t gonna cause a fire, I made my way back to the truck and tore up the dirt road. Get out of whoever’s line of sight. It had to be a prank, right? I knew too many guys who could be behind something like this, and at least half a dozen of them had been to my cabin.

“Somethin’ wrong?” Reese asked from the back seat.

“I’m ninety percent sure it’s not.” I drove around the next bend, where the climb began.

“And the other ten?” he pressed.

I raked my teeth along my bottom lip. “Do you need your brother to extrapolate for you, Reese?”

He sucked his teeth and shut his mouth.

Kids.

Sometimes they acted much older than their twenty years.

Not always.

A flash of neon orange caught my eye, and I slowed down once more. Okay, something was up. Who knew I was coming here this weekend? My sister, my brother. And Robin, but she didn’t know the location.

“Is that a note on the tree?” Reese wondered.

“I’m about to find out. Stay here.” I jumped out of the truck, keeping an eye on my surroundings, and made quick work of crossing the road and trailing down into the ditch where I could reach the piece of paper. Where was the nearest Xerox place? This was printed.

Emerson George Payne. Father, American diplomat. Mother, schoolteacher from London. Two brothers, one sister, two older than you. Eldest brother passed away in 1985. Younger brother enlisted four years after you.

I clenched my jaw and crumpled the note in my hand. Make that seventy-five percent sure nothing was wrong.

Not many had that much information on me—for a fucking reason. Before I’d joined the Army, I’d taken my mum’s surname to distance myself from my old man’s history, part of which was public record. At that point, I’d already had my sights set on the SAS. I’d wanted a new identity.

Returning to the truck once more, I told the boys we were on foot from here on out. Just to err on the safe side. If someone was feeding me information about myself, they wanted my attention. It was highly unlikely I’d be taken out from the road, in other words, but if we had someone waiting for us at the cabin, I didn’t want them to see us coming.

“Leave your bags for now, and listen to me carefully.”

While the boys disappeared into the forested mountainside, I stayed on the left side of the dirt road, some ten feet into the woods, where I could still see in case there were additional messages.

I found the third one a couple minutes later.

Emerson George Payne. 6’5”, 220 lbs, 40 years old, brown hair, blue eyes. Noticeable markings: 4-inch scar on your neck after an encounter with a broken glass bottle, poorly healed gunshot wound on left-side rib cage. Quick question. How do you identify an SAS operator? By the tattoos he doesn’t have and the intel he doesn’t share.

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