J. Daniels – Read Books Online Free Ebooks good best novels to read http://www.ilovenovels.com Fri, 03 Feb 2023 20:32:53 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 http://www.ilovenovels.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/favicon.png J. Daniels – Read Books Online Free Ebooks good best novels to read http://www.ilovenovels.com 32 32 The Tragedy of Felix and Jake Read Online J. Daniels http://www.ilovenovels.com/the-tragedy-of-felix-and-jake-read-online-j-daniels Fri, 03 Feb 2023 20:31:43 +0000 http://www.booksnovels.com/the-tragedy-of-felix-and-jake-read-online-j-daniels Categories Genre: M-M Romance, Romance Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 129881 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 649(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 433(@300wpm)
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From New York Times bestselling author, J. Daniels, comes an all-new standalone forbidden romance.
They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
They say the best way to stay sober is to love yourself.

I’m great at making bad decisions.
Addict? Check. Poor impulse control? Check. Obsessed with the guy I’m sponsoring? Check Check Check.
There is no one worse for me to want in my bed than Jake Tully. He’s hot and grumpy and literally a terrible idea. Terrible. Worse, no one has ever made me feel the way he does — valued. But here I am - thinking about him again.

Falling for my sponsor is not my worst idea yet, but it’s damn close.
Felix Fields is everything good. He’s thoughtful and kind. I can’t help but think about every bad thing we could do between these sheets.
But we can’t be together. I’m not willing to risk my recovery for anyone – even if he might be perfect for me.

Finding a love like this is nothing short of a tragedy.

*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************

SO MAYBE I’M NOT OKAY

JAKE

I’m sure you saw this coming. You know how miserable I’ve been. If you were stationed closer, things would be different. I can’t keep doing this. We never see each other. Dale is here. He’s here and you aren’t. It just happened. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, Jake. I love you. I only wish you the best.

Katie

THE TORN-OUT NOTEBOOK paper crumples inside my fist. I feel myself shaking.

Jaw tight, I turn toward the wall, cock my free hand back and strike my knuckles against it, pounding until I see blood smear.

That bitch. That stupid fucking bitch.

“Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!” I roar.

I toss her bullshit onto the floor and tear through my room. I flip over the small table I keep shit on—shit of hers she gave me. Framed pictures and souvenirs from road trips and stupid fucking shit that means nothing. Two years of lies. Two years that were supposed to lead to more, but it just happened. Dale is there. I’m not. She’s fucking him. She’s giving him framed pictures and days that’ll turn into two years.

Fuck her. Fuck. Her.

I send everything crashing to the floor. I crush it beneath my boot.

The desk I share with my roommate—that piece of shit who said Katie didn’t seem the type to handle deployments and distance well—is next.

Fuck him for knowing.

Cheap plywood splits apart when it hits the floor, and the laptop I’d use to Skype on crashes against the wall after I hurl it.

She told me she loved me on that. She got off watching me get off. She’d smile at me on the screen and tell me she couldn’t wait to be done with school so she could move here.

She lied.

She’s done with me and wishing me the best and fucking her neighbor and “FUCK YOU!”

I pick up the end of my bed and toss it as far as I can. I rip the phone cord out of the wall and throw the receiver.

I only got that shit because of her. Why the fuck would I need it now?

The Walmart purchase crashes against the door.

I punch the wall again. I keep moving. I keep pacing and kicking shit and breaking anything I can until I force myself to stop before I crush bone.

Chest heaving, I look around the room at my destruction.

My hands tremble.

My skin burns and itches, and I feel like I’m on fire.

I grip my hair and squeeze my eyes shut as relief waters my mouth and rushes in my blood.

The high I could chase to take all of this away is right there in my pocket. I just need to reach for it.

It’s simple. It’s easy.

“Do it,” the best feeling in the world whispers in my ear.

I just need to go numb for a day or an hour or a minute. I need to stop feeling this.

I need to forget her.

I need to forget what she’s done.

I need I need I need I need.

My phone is in my hand and a number I shouldn’t know is on my screen, and I can barely see it through the tears in my eyes.

I want this.

I hate this.

My hand in my hair pulls. I can already feel better. My fingers shake.

I’m going to do it.

I’m scared.

I’m going to do it.

I’ll feel nothing in an hour.

I’ll hate myself tomorrow, but I’ll feel good first.

The high is better than the comedown. It’s worth it. It always is.

Dale—I can see that fucker in my head. He’s touching her. Kissing her. Fucking the girl I thought about buying a ring for. He’s shaking my hand and telling me he’ll keep an eye on what’s mine.

He’s smiling. They’re smiling. He’s taking everything I have.

“Just one more time,” my favorite memory beckons me.

She loves me. Cocaine-fueled and blackout drunk. She always will. There’s no one else for her but me.

Katie doesn’t feel that way. She won’t love me ever again. She never did.

Never.

My back hits the wall, and I slide to the floor. I almost hurl my phone across the room. Thank fuck I don’t.

“What’s up, man?” The rough voice in my ear sounds happy to hear from me. He’s smiling.

I want to kill myself.

“I need your help,” I croak. My throat feels like it’s ripping apart.

“I’m leaving now.” His tone changes to something that scares me. Something I’ve heard more times than I can count. “Give me two minutes, and I’m out the door, Jake. Hold on. I’m coming.”

My brother is coming.

Tears fall to my cheeks.

I hang my head and begin to sob.

It takes six hours for my brother to get to me.

I’m sweating and shaking and scared out of my fucking mind, and it takes six hours until he’s calling me because I won’t let him in. I won’t answer the door. I forget why he’s here.

CJ?

Holy shit. Hi.


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Four Letter Word (Dirty Deeds #1) Read Online J. Daniels http://www.ilovenovels.com/four-letter-word-dirty-deeds-1-read-online-j-daniels Fri, 04 Dec 2020 21:40:31 +0000 http://www.booksnovels.com/four-letter-word-dirty-deeds-1-read-online-j-daniels Categories Genre: Alpha Male, Chick Lit, Contemporary, Erotic, Funny, New Adult, Romance Tags Authors: Series: Dirty Deeds Series by J. Daniels
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Total pages in book: 150
Estimated words: 147136 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 736(@200wpm)___ 589(@250wpm)___ 490(@300wpm)
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Read Online Books/Novels:

Four Letter Word (Dirty Deeds #1)

Author/Writer of Book/Novel:

J. Daniels
Language:
English
ISBN/ ASIN:
1455566071 (ISBN13: 9781455566075)
Book Information:

Fate. Hate. Love. Lies.

Which four letter word will change their lives forever?

Sydney Paige was never so mortified to hear the words "wrong number" in her life. She meant to tell off the guy who broke her best friend's heart but unleashed her anger on a perfect stranger instead. And now her world is turned upside down by the captivating man who wants to keep her on the line.

Brian Savage is living a life he's quickly come to hate-until Sydney's wild rant has him hooked and hungry for more. Soon the sexy woman on the phone becomes the lover in his bed. But Brian has secrets, and the closer he lets Syd get, the harder it is to shield her from the devastating mistakes of his past .
Books in Series:

Dirty Deeds Series by J. Daniels
Books by Author:

J. Daniels


Chapter One

SYDNEY

I had been sitting in the same spot for an hour.

Well, at least it felt like an hour. I honestly had no idea what time it was. I couldn’t look at the clock to verify how long I’d been immobile. I couldn’t look at anything besides the hand resting in my lap.

No, not resting. It shook violently, no matter how hard I pressed it flat against my jean-covered thigh.

My skin all over was clammy and frigid at the same time. Sweat tickled my palms, pooled at the base of my neck and in the hollow dip of my throat. It was quite possible I was running a fever.

I should feel sick. This was sickening.

The house felt eerily quiet, desolate, though I knew Marcus was in the other room. I hadn’t heard the evidence of his departure—the front door closing or the low rumble of his truck starting up.

He hadn’t left. And why would he? Why would he be the one leaving in this scenario?

You should be leaving, Sydney. Get up. Run. Grab your stuff and get the hell out of here.

I exhaled a trembling breath. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t stop shaking. I could barely remember how important oxygen intake was in the matter of staying alive. Long seconds stretched out before I would inhale in a panic, allow my lungs to taste the air in the room I shouldn’t still be sitting in, then expel that breath all too quickly.

I needed to go. I needed to react somehow, because I hadn’t thus far.

I felt numb. And this … this felt like a dream.

A paralyzing dream.

The kind you didn’t wake up from.

My phone rang from my bag on the floor somewhere, but it sounded miles away. I couldn’t lift my head to the noise. I couldn’t even remember where I had tossed it after I endured the one-sided conversation with Marcus.

Endured. Not participated in.

Him, doing all the talking, all the explaining, and none of it sounding the least bit apologetic, his voice cold and distant, detached, final … having made the decision, his decision, while I stood there frozen.

Frozen.

Marcus turned on his heel and swiftly left the room. I collapsed into a pile of heavy limbs on the floor, where I’d remained, and where I had every intention of remaining.

That was my reaction. It was the only reaction I was capable of.

Until the phone rang …again.

Something felt off. It was a miracle I felt it, whatever it was, considering my deadened state.

Like a whispered warning against my ear.

My spine stiffened in an instant. I turned my head in the direction of my muffled ringtone, scanning with what felt like new eyes.

Fresh and alert.

I was up to count six of Taylor Swift singing about being young and reckless. I knew who was calling, and I contemplated ignoring my best friend again, slouching over and righting myself to my previous position, until I realized …

Shit.

Shit.

My already tight chest grew tighter.

Tori never called me that many times in a row. If I didn’t answer her, I was usually in the middle of a shift at work, and she’d leave her standard “call me when you get a sec” message.

She never rang me up like this. Urgently.

Was something wrong?

I found my bag halfway under the bed and tugged it out by one of the straps. Palming my phone, I answered the call just before the last words of the verse sounded.

“H-hey, what’s up?” I asked, voice strained and anxious, stumbling brokenly through my greeting.

My head hit the side of the mattress as I resumed my location on the floor with my knees pulled in close against my chest.

“Syd.” Tori’s voice cracked with a whimper. “Hon …hey, hey, are you busy right now? Do you have a minute to talk? I need to talk.”

I blinked rapidly at her distressful tone.

I suddenly couldn’t remember the last hour, or however long I had been in this room. I couldn’t remember the bomb Marcus dropped in my lap before he dismissed me with a curt nod and went about his business doing God knows what.

My hands no longer shook. My breathing was even. Focused.

I had never heard my best friend cry. Never. Not once in the twelve years we’d known each other. And we’d been through some shit, let me tell you.

But she was crying now.

I was right. Something was off.

Worry consumed me. My blood ran warmer as I began to pace along the length of the bed, pressing the phone to my ear as I quickly collected myself.

“I have as much time as you need, sweetie. What’s going on? Why are you upset?”

“Wes,” she hiccupped.

Wes.

Tori’s boyfriend of six months and serious enough he was obviously worth shedding tears over.

I hadn’t had a chance to meet the guy yet, due to my busy work schedule and the three-hour drive time between Tori and myself. But I felt like I knew him. Ninety percent of Tori’s and my conversations revolved around what amazingly sweet thing Wes did for her that week.


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Hit the Spot (Dirty Deeds #2) Read Online J. Daniels http://www.ilovenovels.com/hit-the-spot-dirty-deeds-2-read-online-j-daniels Fri, 04 Dec 2020 21:40:30 +0000 http://www.booksnovels.com/hit-the-spot-dirty-deeds-2-read-online-j-daniels Categories Genre: Alpha Male, Chick Lit, Contemporary, Erotic, Funny, New Adult, Romance Tags Authors: Series: Dirty Deeds Series by J. Daniels
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Total pages in book: 141
Estimated words: 135604 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
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Read Online Books/Novels:

Hit the Spot (Dirty Deeds #2)

Author/Writer of Book/Novel:

J. Daniels
Language:
English
ISBN/ ASIN:
B01BU1ITOQ
Book Information:

New York Times bestselling author J. Daniels brings us the next book in her Dirty Deeds series.
Is this love or just a game?
Tori Rivera thinks Jamie McCade is rude, arrogant, and worst of all . . . the sexiest man she's ever laid eyes on. His reputation as a player is almost as legendary as his surfing skills. No matter how her body heats up when he's around, she's determined not to be another meaningless hookup.
Jamie McCade always gets what he wants. The sickest wave. The hottest women. And Tori, with her long legs and smart mouth, is definitely the hottest one. He knows Tori wants him-hell, most women do-but she won't admit it. After months of chasing and one unforgettable kiss, it's time for Jamie to raise the stakes.
Jamie promises that soon Tori won't just want him in her bed, she'll be begging for it-and he might be right. Somehow he's found the spot in her heart that makes her open up like never before. But with all she knows about his past, can she really trust what's happening between them? Is Jamie playing for keeps or just playing to win?
This book can be read as a stand-alone.
Book 1--Four Letter Word
Books in Series:

Dirty Deeds Series by J. Daniels
Books by Author:

J. Daniels


Prologue

TORI

“Sheesh. It’s like a ghost town in here. I’m bored outta my mind,” Shay commented, coming to stand beside me at the counter where I was leaned over, propped on my elbow and doodling hearts on a napkin.

I didn’t need to look up and survey the room to know she was right. It was like a ghost town in Whitecaps, the hip, ocean-front restaurant where I worked. Not a lot of people were venturing out today in the freezing rain-snow mixture going on outside.

When Nate had hired me a month ago, he said things slowed down in the winter. That made sense. Who hung at the beach in December?

I preferred being busy, as did Shay apparently, but I didn’t mind the slow pace today. It gave me time to doodle. I liked to doodle. When I was happy, I doodled a lot.

And holy crap, was I happy.

Shay’s shoulder nudged against mine. “Who’s Wes?” she asked, pressing close. “He your boyfriend?”

I traced his whimsically scripted name with the dark blue pen and nodded.

“How long have you been together?”

“Few weeks,” I answered, looking over at her. “I met him at the market right after I moved here. He was behind me in the checkout line.”

Shay smiled.

“Aw, I love tha—”

A loud banging noise coming from behind swung my head around and jolted Shay.

Sean, the cook Nate hired two weeks ago, stalked out of the kitchen holding a rag to his hand, snarling and spitting profanities through gritted teeth while his profile held hard and sharp with irritation.

He was tall and cut out of muscle and bone, no fat or softness to him from what I could tell, covered in tattoos, and either didn’t have the ability to smile behind his thick beard or never felt the need.

Intimidating? Absolutely. Scary? A little.

But he seemed cool, stayed quiet and kept to himself, and wasn’t bailing on a job that had him surrounded by women seven days a week who never kept to themselves and hardly stayed quiet.

I thought that was saying something.

He crossed the room, lifted his big biker boot, and kicked the men’s restroom door open, disappearing behind it.

“I think he cut himself again,” Shay guessed, communicating my own speculation. “That’s seven times now, right?”

I did a mental count from what I’d either witnessed myself or heard about after the fact. Maybe someone else should be chopping vegetables for him.

“He should change his name to Stitch,” I suggested, looking to her. “Fits him.”

Shay’s mouth twitched. Her dark brown eyes flickered wider.

“I’ll call him that if you do,” she said a little quieter, as if she was afraid he could hear.

“Deal,” I chuckled. I leaned over and began doodling again, darkening in some hearts and heavily outlining the others, my mind on Wes and the date we’d be having this upcoming weekend.

I was really looking forward to it.

He was always working long and late hours during the week. I hardly saw him. Hardly spoke to him either, unless he was calling me back after getting a free minute.

Thank God for texts.

“I’m gonna go see if my one lonely table needs anything, again, even though I just asked them, and until Stitch stops bleeding and gets back to cooking their food, the only thing I have to give is refills and my wit.” Shay slapped the counter, twisted away, then stopped frozen on a gasp. “Sweet. He’s here,” she whispered.

“Who?” I asked, head down and eyes focused on my Wes doodle.

When Shay didn’t answer, I lifted my head out of curiosity, followed her gaze across the restaurant, and met the eyes of the man she had to have been referring to.

I blinked and stood a little taller but stayed angled forward, keeping my weight on my elbows.

He blinked back. And somehow, that blink … was … sexy. I had no idea what qualified a blink as being sexy, but whatever it was, this man was hitting all those qualifiers and could easily take home the trophy for sexiest blink.

Ever.

I am not one to exaggerate either. This was an honest observation.

I realized quickly after moving to Dogwood Beach that there wasn’t a shortage of good-looking men here. In fact, I was convinced the sand and salty air did miraculous things to the male race, boosting cellular regeneration and gene quality, making even hard-looking men like Stitch beautiful in their own unique way.

I waited on attractive men frequently at work. I saw them around town. Hell, I was currently dating one. This was nothing new. Looks were a dime a dozen in Dogwood.

That being said, I was unprepared for a sexy blink, not to mention the degree of attractiveness belonging to the man responsible for that blink.

The man I was currently staring at, who just so happened to be staring back, directly at me.

Tall, with broad shoulders and long, muscled limbs covered in layered Henley thermals and dark faded jeans, dirty blond hair that looked hand-raked messy and a little damp from the rain, causing it to curl at the ends around his ears and where it lay on his neck. Bright eyes. Thick eyebrows. A perfectly straight nose. He looked model perfect and camera ready, except for the five o’clock shadow speckling his jaw. That roughed him up a bit. And if he wasn’t already scoring points in the looks department, boom, dimples. He … had … dimples.


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Down Too Deep Read online J. Daniels (Dirty Deeds #4) http://www.ilovenovels.com/down-too-deep-4-read-online-j-daniels Wed, 01 Aug 2018 01:57:33 +0000 http://www.test123.demo2.xyz/down-too-deep-4-read-online-j-daniels Categories Genre: Angst, Contemporary, New Adult, Romance Tags Authors: Series: Dirty Deeds Series by J. Daniels
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Total pages in book: 125
Estimated words: 121576 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 608(@200wpm)___ 486(@250wpm)___ 405(@300wpm)
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Read Online Books/Novels:

Down Too Deep (Dirty Deeds #4)

Author/Writer of Book/Novel:

J. Daniels
Language:
English
Book Information:

Fans of Christina Lauren and Colleen Hoover will love this sexy and emotional fourth book in the New York Times bestselling Dirty Deeds series.
Following the sudden death of his wife, Nathan Bell has spent nearly two years burying himself in work and neglecting his biggest responsibility: his daughter. Overcome with guilt, he wants to connect with little Marley, but he doesn’t know how to do it alone. And then Jenna Savage throws him a lifeline.
A single mom of twins, Jenna is more than capable of taking care of Nate’s adorable two-year-old, and wants to help Nathan however she can. Soon, attachments are made, forcing Jenna and her kids into new territory. And the closer everyone becomes, the more right it feels.
Falling in love forces Nathan to face his biggest fear, and when hearts, both big and little, are on the line, the only thing scarier than needing someone is losing them all.
Books in Series:

Dirty Deeds Series by J. Daniels
Books by Author:

J. Daniels Books


Chapter One

NATHAN

Wake up, Nathan.”

My phone vibrated against the dark oak of the bar, pulling me out of the memory I frequently lost myself in. I blinked the room into focus, palmed the device, and slid my thumb across the screen as I took a generous sip of whiskey.

Get your ass home

My father’s text read as an order and was meant to be taken as one. It was also a message I’d been expecting for a long fucking time. I was shocked it hadn’t come sooner.

He was finally stepping in. The man who never bit his tongue around me had been unusually tolerant of my shit the past twenty-two months. But now he’d reached his limit—or, more likely, my mother had. She’d never say anything to me directly, of course. She would see my guilt and cave, allowing this to drag on indefinitely. Her only option was my father.

He was the better choice anyway. She knew I always listened to him. At least, I did before, back when we actually spoke to each other.

I pushed off the stool I’d been occupying for the past two hours and drained the remainder of my drink, dug the wallet out of my back pocket, and dropped two twenties on the bar, catching Levi’s attention.

We weren’t friends. I didn’t know the guy outside of this building. But when you frequent the same bar nearly every night, you pick up a few names.

“Thanks, man. I’ll see ya tomorrow.” Levi swiped the money off the wood and wiped the bar down with a rag.

“No,” I said, palming my phone and reading the text again. I met Levi’s gaze. “You won’t.”

* * *

“We’ve raised our children, Nathan. Your mother and I are too old for this. We’re supposed to be enjoying our retirement, but we haven’t been able to do that, now, have we?” My father’s voice echoed off the vaulted ceiling of my family room and loomed over me like thunderclouds.

He wasn’t screaming. He didn’t need to. His voice carried no matter what volume he used, and truth be told, he could’ve whispered this shit to me and I would’ve heard it as loud as I was hearing it now.

The truth was deafening.

“Now, we love that little girl—you know we do—and this is breaking your mother’s heart, but I can’t take this shit anymore. I’ve kept my mouth shut for long enough. You have a responsibility, Nathan. Marley needs you. Hell, she’s needed you, and you are goddamned lucky she hasn’t been damaged by this already. You can thank your mother for that—the beautiful angel that she is. She’s put her life on hold for nearly two years while you’ve been doing everything except what you need to be doing, and—are you even listening to me right now, Nathan? Nathan.” He grabbed my shoulder and shook me.

I barely reacted, slowly tipping my head back to peer up at him where he stood. I couldn’t get angry. I’d seen this coming.

“I’m listening,” I told him.

“Good. Because this ends now.” He braced his hand on the back of the chair I was sitting in and bent closer, getting in my face.

My father was a big man. A former college linebacker who didn’t look like he was pushing sixty-five. Two years ago, I would’ve shifted in my seat having him this close to me. Now I didn’t even blink.

“We’re giving you through Memorial Day, and then I’m taking that woman on a much-deserved vacation far away from here, and when we get home, we’re going back to being grandparents who visit with their grandchildren. Our child-rearing days are over, son. It’s time you step up. There is absolutely no reason why you should be at that restaurant as much as you are. This is long overdue.”

Shock overwhelmed me. I felt my teeth clench as my back went rigid against the leather cushion. “You’re giving me six days? That’s not enough time for me to line something up.”

“We’ve given you almost two years. I think that’s more than enough time.”

“Be reasonable.”

“Reasonable?” His eyes narrowed. “How about you be the man I raised, because I don’t even know who the hell I’m looking at anymore. I can smell the alcohol on you, Nathan. You’re lucky I didn’t call you on this shit a long time ago.”

“Why didn’t you?”

I was getting bold. There was a time I’d never take issue with anything my father did or the way he decided to do it. Right now, I didn’t even care if he hit me. I had checked out.

“I don’t question how a man needs to grieve his wife,” he answered without pause. “That’s something I don’t have experience with, and I pray to God I never will. But life moves on, son, and you gotta move with it. The drinking stops now. That won’t give you what you’re looking for. There’s no changing what happened.”


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Bad for You Read Online J. Daniels (Dirty Deeds #3) http://www.ilovenovels.com/bad-for-you-3-read-online-j-daniels Wed, 15 Mar 2017 01:57:33 +0000 http://www.test123.demo2.xyz/bad-for-you-3-read-online-j-daniels Categories Genre: Alpha Male, New Adult, Romance, Tear Jerker Tags Authors: Series: Dirty Deeds Series by J. Daniels
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Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 126602 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 633(@200wpm)___ 506(@250wpm)___ 422(@300wpm)
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Read Online Books/Novels:

Bad for You (Dirty Deeds #3)

Author/Writer of Book/Novel:

J. Daniels
Language:
English
ISBN/ ASIN:
B07281K7SM
Book Information:

Shayla Perkins isn’t the kind of girl who makes the same mistake twice, especially when it comes to Sean “Stitch” Molina. So when he gives her the world’s biggest rejection, that’s it—she’s done. Until the sexy, silent, unavailable Sean makes Shay a very personal offer. Of course, it still doesn’t mean he’s interested in her. Or does it?

Sean has done things in life. Bad things. And he’s paid the price. All he wants now is to make up for his past by doing good in the present. And no one deserves more good than Shay. Beautiful on the inside and out, Shay is the kind of woman who should be cared for and protected—especially from a man like Sean. He’s tried to keep his feelings for her in check, but a single, reckless impulse pulls them closer than ever before.

Soon the two are sharing their biggest dreams and satisfying their deepest desires. But what will happen if the only way to truly give one another want they want most . . . is to let each other go?
Books in Series:

Dirty Deeds Series by J. Daniels
Books by Author:

J. Daniels Books


Prologue

SEAN

“I need new clothes for school. Can we go to the store?”

Mom kept her eyes ahead, going back and forth between the show she was watching and the toenail she was painting as I stood beside the sofa.

She didn’t look at me. She never looked at me.

I didn’t know why I still got sad over that.

“No. I’m busy, you little shit,” she snapped, causing the cigarette stuck between her lips to bob and drop ash on the carpet.

“But school starts tomorrow.”

“So?”

“My shoes are too small, and they got holes. My big toes are sticking out.”

And they hurt my feet, I didn’t say. I didn’t want to sound like a baby. She’d yell at me for that.

Mom dipped the nail brush back in the red, gloopy polish and kept painting, kept watching her show, kept refusing to look at me.

“Sew up the holes. You don’t need new shoes,” she said.

I bit my lip and turned away.

I was going to be stuck wearing the same clothes I wore last year to school. Same shoes. Same book bag. Everyone else would have new things, and they’d notice when I don’t. There’s no way they wouldn’t notice that.

Third graders notice everything.

“Can I just get a new shirt or something?” I asked.

“No.”

“Just one?”

She stopped painting then and peeled her gaze away from her show. Keeping hold of the nail brush, she pinched the cigarette between two fingers of her other hand and pulled it away from her mouth to bark, “I ain’t made of money! You want new clothes, go out and get a damn job. It’s about time you started pitching in around here anyway, since you don’t do fuck-all else. What the fuck are you good for? Huh? Nothing! Just taking up space.”

“I can’t get a job. I’m only eight,” I told her.

I didn’t think other moms needed to be reminded how old their kids were. But I was constantly having to do it.

She waved me off with her hand holding the cigarette, ash dropping onto the sofa in the process. “Not my problem. Now, go do something before I get mad and smack the shit outta you. You’re making me miss my show.”

Tears stinging my eyes, I turned and left the room.

I knew asking for anything was a long shot, but it didn’t stop me from asking. It never did.

I wanted nice things. Newer things. I wanted what other kids had.

I wanted a different life. I hated this one. I hated everything about it.

I walked past Mom’s bedroom and saw the guy she’d brought home last night passed out on the floor. I didn’t know his name. I never knew any of their names. They never spoke to me. And I stayed clear of them.

I learned that lesson when the one pushed me into the wall so hard, I threw up and had a headache for days.

I hated throwing up, but I just couldn’t help it sometimes.

I stopped in the doorway and looked at the guy. He was hunched over, his back against the bed and his head hanging down. A needle stuck out of his arm.

Mom said she wasn’t made of money, but she always had enough for those needles with the stuff in them that made everyone so sleepy. I found those needles all over the place.

The guy’s wallet was open on the bed next to trash and empty bottles. I walked over to it, keeping my steps light so I wouldn’t wake him up, and flipped open the soft leather.

There were three one-dollar bills inside.

I thought about what my teacher had said about taking stuff that wasn’t yours, but then I thought about how much my shoes hurt my feet, so I took the money, tossed the wallet where I’d found it, and ran.

I shut the door to my room and moved quickly to the dresser. I kept my money hidden there—cash I found lying around the house.

My hand curled around the crinkled bills tucked behind my socks. I added them up with the money from the wallet. Total, I had eight dollars.

Maybe that would be enough for shoes and a new shirt. I could just wipe off my pants real good. Kids might not notice how old they were if I did that.

This plan felt like a good one. I actually smiled a little, and I never did that. Not here.

Keeping quiet, I snuck out the window instead of using the front door, worried I’d get caught, and ran as fast as I could down the street.

The closest store was a Payless Shoes. I walked inside and looked at what they had, picking out my favorite pair. They were all black with red stripes. I thought they looked so cool.

I took them up to the front where the woman was standing behind a tall counter, slid my box up beside the register, and dug my money out of my pocket. I flattened out the bills and handed them over.


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