Stasia Black – Read Books Online Free Ebooks good best novels to read

Stasia Black – Read Books Online Free Ebooks good best novels to read http://www.ilovenovels.com Thu, 25 Dec 2025 22:02:53 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=7.0 http://www.ilovenovels.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/favicon.png Stasia Black – Read Books Online Free Ebooks good best novels to read http://www.ilovenovels.com 32 32 Dual – Carnal Games Read Online Stasia Black http://www.ilovenovels.com/dual-carnal-games-read-online-stasia-black Thu, 25 Dec 2025 22:02:53 +0000 http://www.ilovenovels.com/dual-carnal-games-read-online-stasia-black Genre: Alpha Male, BDSM, Dark, Erotic Authors: Stasia Black Series: Series by Stasia Black
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Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 121310 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 607(@200wpm)___ 485(@250wpm)___ 404(@300wpm)

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Can a sadist ever truly feel redeemed? And can his love for the one who taught his heart how to beat survive all odds—even the multitudes she herself contains?

When Domhnall looks at his fiancée, he sees the love of his life—sweet, steady Anna. But when she stares back, sometimes it's not Anna at all.

It’s Mads. Sharp-tongued. Chaotic. The first girl who ever made him feel seen. And now she wants him back—in every filthy, feral way imaginable.

But what do you do when you're in a love triangle with two women sharing a single body and a single heart. Not to mention a single history carved with secrets that enmesh all three of you in a darkness you haven't even yet begun to understand.

Anna swears she doesn’t mind sharing.

But how long can three people survive in one love story before something shatters?

He thought he could love them both. He was wrong.

Because Mads doesn’t share.

She split to survive. Now the pieces may just tear them all apart.

This is the sequel to 7 Days and the final book in the Carnal Games Series. Reading 7 Days first would make for the most enjoyable reading experience. Please also This book contains intense themes of trauma and abuse, violence, trafficking, and mental illness. For a full list of TWs, visit stasiablack.com

*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************

PLAYLIST

Hi Ren Ren

Who Needs Enemies Diana Goldberg

Smoke & Trouble Society of Villains

Behind The Scenes TEYA

Trauma Cheska Moore

Carry You Home by Alex Warren

Mutiny Neoni

Diagnosis Alanis Morisette

Who Do You Want Ex Habit

Paint The Town Red Doja Cat

Dangerous Hands Austin Giorgio

Breakin’ Dishes Rihanna

That’s So True Gracie Abrams

Nasty Tinashe

Kill For You Skylar Grey & Eminem

Put it on Me Matt Maeson

ONE

DOMHNALL

The club is empty, and the echo of my footsteps feels unnaturally quiet without the usual cacophony of laughter and moans. There's only the steady tick of the clock on the far wall and low, amber lighting that casts faint shadows, softening the edges of the space.

I see her before she notices me, standing on the stage with one hand resting lightly on the velvet curtain. Her head is tilted, and her profile is softened by the amber glow of the after-hours sconce lighting.

"Anna," I call, my voice breaking the silence. "What are you doing here? I thought you were spending the night at my sister's?"

She turns at the sound of my voice, her movements slow, deliberate. When she faces me, her lips curve into a small, hesitant smile. "I needed to see you," she says softly, almost shyly. "I… I wanted to talk. In the place where we first met. Well, met for real."

I pause, studying her. There's something different about her tonight, though I can't quite put my finger on it.

"Couldn't it wait 'til morning?" I keep my tone gentle. She's moved in with me and we've been happy, but life hasn't been without its bumps in the road. She still has nightmares and always wants to make love afterward. We do, but sometimes, I can't tell if it's Mads or Anna I'm with. In the morning, Anna says never to ask—that deep down, it's always her, no matter which alter I'm with.

But then last week, Anna found her dresses had been shredded with scissors, even though she doesn't remember doing it.

Her therapist thinks Mads is acting out at night. I set up cameras around the house after that to see what her alter might be getting up to while we're both asleep, but there's been nothing since, just my fiancé sleeping beside me in bed. We always knew her coming back from Chicago and living with me might stir things up.

Anna shakes her head, a small motion, almost nervous. "No," she says, stepping closer. "It couldn't wait."

I frown slightly, taking her in as she moves into the light and walks down the few stairs from the stage to the main floor. Her shoulders are rounded, as if she's carrying some invisible weight. There's a vulnerability in the way she looks at me, her arms crossed lightly, holding herself.

"I'm here now. What is it?"

Her breath catches as if she's searching for the right words. "I just…" she begins, her voice trembling slightly. She looks away for a moment. When she looks back at me, her eyes are glistening. "I didn't think it would be like this. I don't want to share you."

The words land softly, but they're still like a knife through my chest.

I stride closer. I worried that having sex with Mads might be upsetting to her, even though she swears up and down she doesn't mind and that it's actually helping her integrate. "Share me? You know you don't have to share me. I only love you. All of you. It's only ever been you."

She takes another step closer, her movements unsteady, like she's unsure of herself. "But you spend so much time with her," she murmurs, her voice almost breaking.

Does she mean at night? Is there something she hasn't been telling me?

Her fingers twitch at her sides before she reaches out, brushing them lightly against my jaw. The touch is fleeting, tentative. "She understands you… in ways I don't. And I can't stop thinking about it."

There's a softness in her tone that makes me hesitate, but something still feels… off. Her words, her gestures—they're just a little too precise, like an actor in a well-rehearsed role. I watch her closely and stiffen as I try to read what's beneath the surface.

"Anna," I say slowly, careful not to startle her. "Please, talk to me. Tell me what's wrong."

She takes a shaky breath, and for a moment, I see a flicker of something darker behind her eyes. She steps closer again, her fingers trailing to cup my cheek, the touch firmer now. "You're mine," she whispers, her voice dipping, the softness replaced by something sharper, more insistent. "Aren't you, Domhnall?"

Her words hang in the air between us, thick with implications I can't ignore. Her fingers linger against my cheek, the warmth of her touch belying the sharpness in her eyes.

"You're mine, aren't you?" she repeats, her voice softer this time. Coaxing, but with an edge that cuts deeper.

I don't move. I don't even breathe for a moment, studying her as her thumb brushes against my jaw. This close, the cracks in her facade are harder to miss. The subtle lift of her chin. The challenge hidden in her eyes.

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Ruined Vows Read Online Stasia Black http://www.ilovenovels.com/ruined-vows-read-online-stasia-black Thu, 01 May 2025 18:18:36 +0000 http://www.ilovenovels.com/ruined-vows-read-online-stasia-black Genre: Alpha Male, Dark, Suspense Authors: Stasia Black Advertisement

Total pages in book: 135
Estimated words: 129027 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 645(@200wpm)___ 516(@250wpm)___ 430(@300wpm)

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I'm running from danger... and straight into him.
I’m the perfect daughter—an heiress with a spotless reputation and a ring on my finger to prove it. But perfection is a fragile thing, and mine shatters the moment I meet Isaak.
My bodyguard.
Ex-military. Battle-scarred. All sharp edges and dark glances.
He’s the last man I should want—older, all grit and danger, and everything my family would never approve of.
Also, he hates me.
He thinks I’m spoiled, entitled, a rich girl playing pretend.
But there’s one thing he can’t fake:
The way his eyes darken when I walk into the room.
The way his jaw clenches when another man gets too close.
The way his touch—his bed—is the only place I feel safe.
I'm engaged to a man my family has chosen for me.
But my body betrays me whenever Isaak is near.
I thought my stalker was my biggest problem.
I was wrong.
Because every time Isaak says my name, it feels like a promise.

Content warnings: high steamy content, primal play, light BDSM, mental health issues discussed (OCD, PTSD, anxiety), mild references to EDs, drug use, references to physical and verbal abuse, references to date assault, stalking, gun violence, kidnapping

*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************

ONE

ISAAK

“Take a load off, man. You’re not working tonight,” Caleb calls from behind Carnal’s sleek, obsidian bar, his voice threading through the low thrum of bass vibrating the floor beneath my boots.

I don’t respond right away. My eyes stay locked on the club, scanning with the precision of muscle memory. Even here, leaning against the bar instead of holding my usual post by the wall, my skin feels too tight. This angle leaves blind spots. I don’t do blind spots.

From my usual station, I can clock every asshole in the room, every twitch, every shift in posture that might mean trouble. But from this vantage point—leaning at the bar like some relaxed civilian—I can’t see the far side of the club.

It makes my skin itch even though I know there’s no real threat. Not tonight. It’s early, so there’s only a few regulars scattered in the booths. None of the private rooms in the back are occupied.

“Habit,” I finally mutter, eyes still sweeping.

Caleb snorts, drying a glass with an old rag like he’s auditioning for the role of "Bored Bartender #3" in some indie flick. “You’ve got to get a life.”

Marcus laughs beside me, his Coke sweating on the bar, his eyes bloodshot from too many late nights—or maybe just regular life with a toddler at home. “Can’t. Isaak’s allergic to fun.”

“Can’t,” I agree, voice flat. “Taking a new job.”

Caleb’s towel stills mid-swipe. “Right. Domhn mentioned. Figured we couldn’t keep you chained here forever. But bodyguard work? Really?”

“Personal protection officer work,” I correct without thinking, the words sharp, automatic.

Quinn’s sitting in the lounge area, her legs resting on the back of a man who’s on his hands and knees, acting as her footstool. She sips sparkling soda and otherwise ignores the collared man at her feet. Moira’s half-heartedly scene-ing with Big Rick in the corner. Big Rick is a dom who’s more talk than game. He comes here to get laid more than anything else. Just wears his leathers to look the part.

Moira looks bored while lying on her stomach in the sex swing. Big Rick stands behind her, holding her bent legs by her ankles, trying to fuck her like he’s got something to prove, all rhythmic thrusts and sweaty bravado.

Moira looks like she’s mentally filing her taxes. Her eyes catch mine. A flash of something—challenge, maybe—flickers there, but I don’t bite. Not anymore. Sure, Moira and I used to tangle sometimes before or after work. And she’s beautiful, don’t get me wrong. But wild. And dangerous in a way that has nothing to do with whips and restraints.

I’ve seen the fractures she pretends aren’t there up close. Everyone around here wants to deny it, but that girl is fubar’d.

I don’t need that kind of wreckage in my life. Not anymore.

“Adult babysitting?” Marcus leans in, his voice a low drawl. “Sounds like hell.”

“It pays,” I grunt. “I’m thinking of starting an agency with some buddies.”

Caleb arches a sarcastic brow. “Buddies? You’ve got friends?”

“Yeah. They just don’t live here.”

And even if they did, I’m not the kind of guy people keep around for laughs and late-night heart-to-hearts. I’m good for one thing—protection. And violence, I suppose, if it comes to that.

But this personal protection agency? It’s the first thing that’s made my blood stir in years. Since the sandbox, I’ve been stuck in this endless loop—wake, run, gym, work, fuck, repeat. Like I’m waiting for something to start, but nothing ever does.

When you’re there, all you can think about is getting back home. But when you finally do, home feels like stepping into a weird place where everything’s been taken over by aliens. It’s all the same but different.

And finally you realize, they aren’t the aliens.

You are.

Deep inside. And you don’t know if you’ll truly ever be able to get home again.

“Hey,” Caleb says, snapping me out of it. “You still in there, man?”

I blink, shaking it off. “Yeah.”

But the truth is, I’m not. Not really.

I haven’t been for a while.

So maybe this is it. Maybe this is what starting feels like.

Moira’s sharp squeal slices through the low hum of the club, and my attention snaps to her like a reflex. It’s definitely not Big Rick’s doing—he’s still grinding away, oblivious to the fact that her orgasm’s about as real as his dom credentials.

She untangles herself from the sex swing, slipping off his cock. She lifts her phone, grinning so big and wild, her teeth shine bright under the dim lights.

“Isaak!” she shouts across the room. Her high-pitched voice cuts through the thrum of bass. “They’re here!”

Quinn glances up from her sparkling soda, raising an eyebrow without bothering to lift her foot from the sub kneeling beneath her.

I push to my feet and my shoulders snap back. I can’t help it; my body slides into that familiar posture out of habit. Alert. Controlled. It’s not anxiety, exactly. It’s just that, when you know what I know, there’s a sharp edge to the air. Like the moment right before a fight starts. The shift before impact.

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Unholy Obsession – A Dark Priest Romance Read Online Stasia Black http://www.ilovenovels.com/unholy-obsession-a-dark-priest-romance-read-online-stasia-black Mon, 21 Apr 2025 22:19:40 +0000 http://www.ilovenovels.com/unholy-obsession-a-dark-priest-romance-read-online-stasia-black Genre: Alpha Male, Billionaire, Dark, Suspense, Taboo Authors: Stasia Black Advertisement

Total pages in book: 122
Estimated words: 120475 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 602(@200wpm)___ 482(@250wpm)___ 402(@300wpm)

<<<<1 2 3 11 21 >122

I used her body like an altar. Now she’s here for confession.

I left my past behind.
Then she walked into my church.
Once, I was Bane Blackwolf—heir to a legacy of blood and sin. A monster in the making. Instead, I chose the cloth over the crown, buried my name, and became Father Blackwood.
For years, I was in control of my darker nature. Until her.
Moira.
The woman with a sinner’s mouth and a body made for worship. The woman who doesn’t know it was me behind the mask that night—me who had her on her knees, begging.
Now she’s here, whispering confessions that twist the knife deeper. Tempting the man I pretend to be and the beast I’ve tried to bury.
I vowed to be a good man. I vowed to never take what doesn’t belong to me.
But Moira is mine.
The moment I touched her, I knew—I’d never crave anything the way I crave her. She’s the only thing that silences my demons and makes me forget the weight of my sins.
And I’ll be damned before I let her go.

TWs: Please note this is an intense dark romance with characters dealing with mental illness, abuse, and trauma. A full list of trigger warnings can be found on the author’s website.

*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************

Platlist

Uh Oh Neoni

Morally Grey April Jai and Nation Haven

Me and the Devil Soap&Skin

25 Rod Wave

Behind The Scenes TEYA

No Mercy Austin Giorgio

Take Me to Church Hozier

Gasoline Halsey

Boy Toy by Halle Abadi

Bad Apples Pussy Riot

Breaking Down I Prevail

Beggin' by Måneskin

Mess It UP Gracie Abrams

Please Please Please Sabrina Carpenter

Heathens Twenty-One Pilots

Pony Ginuwine

Popular Monster Falling In Reverse

Toxic Love SZA and Kendrick Lamar

Serotonin Girl in Red

Beautiful Things by Benson Boone

ONE

FATHER BLACKWOOD

I’m a monster, but as so often happens with monsters, I’ve got everyone snowed into thinking I’m a good man from the outside.

The priest’s collar around my neck helps.

No one knows about the shattered glass and spilled blood. No one knows about the floggers and leather and the countless women I’ve put on their knees and ordered to call me Lord—just like my father always said they ought to.

I’m an Episcopal priest, not a Catholic one, so I’ve made no vow of celibacy. But that doesn’t mean my bishop would approve of me going to a club like the one I did on Friday, putting a woman in chains and making her beg, cry, and take everything I gave her until I came home with a Bible soaked in her juices from spanking her pussy with it.

I am a sinner of the worst order.

The kind who wears the cloth of a saint.

I stand at the altar, arms raised for the opening prayer, eyes cast downward in hypocrisy.

A half-full church full of elderly faithful sits before me. A congregation that believes in me. Trusts me.

I might never have meant to betray them, but depravity is my birthright.

My mouth shapes the familiar words of prayer, each syllable smooth and practiced. But my mind? My mind is still trapped with her.

I smell her phantom scent—cinnamon, vanilla, and sweat. I feel the silk of her hair as I twisted it around my fist. Taste the salt of her skin and hear the rasp of her broken moans as she took what I gave her. As she craved it.

My hands tremble with the memory.

It only took walking three blocks to throw away everything I’ve built.

A priest never should have set foot in a place like that. Carnal. But the sign was a beacon to my profane soul. A glowing, blood-red promise that I could indulge—just once—before snapping myself back in line.

I could blame it on the letter from my father. But a weak man can always find something or someone else to blame, can’t he?

Three years of silence, and now this, him summoning me like the errant heir he always knew I’d be. The Blackwolf family crest stared up at me from the letterhead—a seal I swore I’d never look upon again. I should have burned it.

Instead, I read every word.

You can run, but you’re still a Blackwolf. You can’t escape what you are.

The echo of my father’s voice coils around my chest like barbed wire. I thought the vows, the collar, and the church—all of it—could change me. Redeem me.

But last Friday, I felt the truth in my bones.

I am my father’s son, and I always will be.

I fought for years—years—to strip myself of Bane, the monster I was raised to be. And yet, in a single night, I let him loose again. I hid my face behind a black cloth skull mask, concealing the priest and letting the sinner run free. I thought it was protection. But that wasn’t the truth. It was permission.

I bow my head and whisper, “Amen,” keeping my voice steady. The congregation responds in kind, and their unwavering trust cinches the barbed wire tighter.

The opening hymn begins. Off-key voices fill the high, arched ceilings, but the sound barely registers. The air is thick with candle wax, the age-old scent of polished wood, and the bite of Mrs. Blanchard’s whiskey-laced coffee that she thinks no one notices. My vestments feel heavier today, a noose instead of a yoke.

“Now, for a moment of contemplation and silence as we gather our hearts for worship,” I say, my voice calm despite the storm inside me. I roll the mallet around the singing bowl, the low hum filling the silence.

I begin the count in my head. Sixty seconds to hold on to the calm. Sixty seconds to convince myself that I am still in control.

I am Father Blackwood, I chant inwardly. Twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three. I have dedicated my life to serving others. Thirty-nine, forty, forty-one. To bring hope to the hopeless.

Fifty-eight, fifty-nine, sixty.

I roll the mallet again, the sound dissipating into the vaulted rafters.

I open my eyes, my hands lifting as I prepare for the next prayer. The congregation waits expectantly.

And then I see her.

Her.

Oh, fuck. All the air in my lungs freezes as she slips in through the heavy arched doors at the back of the church, hesitance in every line of her body.

The woman who’s haunted me for forty-eight agonizing hours.

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Cherry Auction – Carnal Games Read Online Stasia Black http://www.ilovenovels.com/cherry-auction-carnal-games-read-online-stasia-black Sun, 02 Feb 2025 19:15:00 +0000 http://www.ilovenovels.com/cherry-auction-carnal-games-read-online-stasia-black Genre: Alpha Male, BDSM, Billionaire, Contemporary, Dark, Erotic Authors: Stasia Black Advertisement

Total pages in book: 109
Estimated words: 104165 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 521(@200wpm)___ 417(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)

<<<<1 2 3 11 21 >109

In a game of lies and obsession, who will break first?

I woke up in a hospital with no memory of my name, my past, or the darkness that haunts my every step.
Then a new friend introduced me to Carnal, an exclusive club where secrets are currency, and fantasies come with a price. When I agreed to auction off my vrginity, it seemed like the perfect solution to rebuild my life. A one-night transaction for the chance to start fresh.
But I didn’t expect him.
Domhnall.
He’s cold, calculating, and commands the room with a dangerous allure. One look and I’m a deer caught in the headlights. One touch, and I’m at his mercy. He bought me for a price no one else dared match, and now he’s dragging me into his shadowed world—where the lines between desire and fear blur into a sinister game I can’t escape.

*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************

PLAYLIST

Nobody Mitski

Traitor Olivia Rodrigo

Wicked Game Chris Isaak

Villain Bella Poarch

Arcade Duncan Laurence

Unholy Sam Smith & Kim Petras

Take Me To Church Hozier

Dancing With The Devil Demi Lovato

Forever For Now LP

You Should See Me In A Crown Billie Eilish

Down With The Sickness Disturbed

The Family Jewels Marina

Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me? Taylor Swift

Diagnosis Alanis Morissette

Silent All These Years Tori Amos

Never Felt So Alone Labrinth

Only Love Can Hurt Like This Paloma Faith

Dandelions Ruth B.

ONE

DOMHNALL

I sip my Jameson and look around the room that’s been darkened for ambiance. The event planner did well, and I’m difficult to please.

The gleaming mahogany stage for the auction is the only well-lit spot in the club. They even hung a floor to ceiling burgundy velvet curtain for the virgin and the auctioneer to enter through. The spanking benches and St. Andrew’s Cross have been discreetly pushed off to the side. Instead, plush chairs upholstered in dark red fabric are arranged in an arc in front of the stage.

All a little dramatic, yes, but the rich arseholes in designer suits meandering around and laughing too loudly at each other’s jokes love this shite.

I ought to be playing my part as host. But one perk of being richer than god is getting to be an anti-social bastard.

“What the fuck, Dom?” Caleb says, suddenly appearing at my shoulder. He’s the club’s actual owner, and my self-proclaimed best friend. I’ve told him a thousand time my name’s pronounced Donal, but he insists on shortening it to Dom. Mostly because he says if anyone should be nicknamed Dom it’s me, since I’m such a controlling, sadistic bastard. It caught on and now everyone follows suit, even my sister. “I told you, no drinking tonight. Everyone’s got a goddamn glass in their hand.”

I glance over the rim of my tumbler. “You’re welcome. I didn’t have to organize this little soiree here.”

He rolls his eyes. “Thank you, Dom, for helping me pull off this event and inviting your billionaire friends. Now why the fuck is everybody drinking? I know this isn’t a ring member event, but I thought you told them the rules.”

I scoff even as I finger my platinum-gold ace of spades ring that indicates my top tier membership in Carnal. You have to be a member in good standing for three years to qualify and be able to afford the fees. Then it provides entry to the darker, kinkiest events that require the trust of an inner circle.

Tonight, however, is what one might call an invitational event. We’re showing off the perks of what being a member of Carnal can provide. And it’s a hell of a fundraiser to inject some quick cash into the club.

“For the kind of money you wanted in this room,” I say, “there are expectations. They don’t know the rules of the scene. These men assume there’s going to be a bar to order top shelf shite from.”

I nod towards the sleek bar, the only other source of significant light in the room. The bartender is in a black tux with a gold masquerade mask on. He’s framed by a backdrop of hundreds of black and red roses clustered in a living wall.

“Fuck,” Caleb runs a hand through his hair.

“Don’t worry so fecking much, you’ll get a hernia. I had them water the drinks down.”

“Even yours?” In the dim light, I see Caleb’s eyebrows lift skeptically.

“I’m just the host, remember? I’m not bidding tonight. I have no interest in virgins.”

I only want experienced subs, preferably pain-sluts. I want to mark them, fuck them, and then have everyone go on their merry way without ever knowing each other’s names.

“You should bid,” Caleb says. “Maybe what you need is something different. Someone to settle down with.”

I bark out a laugh and look over at him. “Don’t be fecking ridiculous. Don’t hang that picket fence shite on me. It’s a lie sold to muppets like you.”

“It’s not a lie.” His jaw tenses ever so slightly. “Silas and my mom had it.”

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Hunger – A Second Chance Angel Romance Read Online Stasia Black http://www.ilovenovels.com/hunger-a-second-chance-angel-romance-read-online-stasia-black Sat, 30 Mar 2024 18:33:54 +0000 http://www.booksnovels.com/hunger-a-second-chance-angel-romance-read-online-stasia-black Genre: Alpha Male, Dark, Fantasy/Sci-fi, Paranormal Authors: Stasia Black Advertisement

Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 81867 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 409(@200wpm)___ 327(@250wpm)___ 273(@300wpm)

<<<<1 2 3 11 21 >87

He’s the gorgeous fallen angel best friend you pushed away ten years ago…You haven’t seen him for ten years—the fallen angel of your dreams and your once best friend—until your vampire grandfather traps him into an arranged marriage with you.Now it’s your wedding day, and the officiant “You may now kiss the bride.”You finally dare look up into the eyes of your… husband.He’s the most stunningly gorgeous man you’ve ever seen.His gray eyes are dark with intensity as he glares down at you. Does that mean he still hates you?Don’t tremble. Don’t show him he affects you at all.But then he swoops down and crushes his lips to yours, and your whole body trembles as you come alive for the first time in a decade.Your fingers dig into his shoulders, his hands clench your waist, and you think—oh god, is this what it would have been like to kiss him all those years ago?Finally, the first kiss you'd never had.Standalone monster romance series novel. Check author's website for CWs. HEA guaranteed.

*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************

Prologue: The Wedding

My husband-to-be and I have barely talked in the past three weeks, ever since our abrupt engagement was announced. My heart thumps so fast and so loud I can hear it in my ears.

I’m standing behind an archway of hydrangeas and lilies in my beautiful wedding dress, Grandfather at my side. It’s a gorgeous ballgown organza white dress with crystal embellished lace on top. It’s cut low while still being modest, with off the shoulder cap sleeves.

I feel like a princess. Which I am. Princess to a dynasty of vampires, even if I’m not one myself. No, I’m just a whole other bag of creepy. On a day like today, I feel it more than ever. And all I ever wanted was to be normal.

I should be standing here with my father, who should be whispering in my ear how proud he is of me and how much he hopes for my future happiness.

Instead, Grandfather Vlad chortles as he pushes me forward by the small of my back. “Go. Produce me good, strong little babies to grow up and be my soldiers.”

With that, I’m shoved unceremoniously down the long aisle towards my groom.

All heads turn towards me. There aren’t many in attendance. Only one side of the aisle full of the pale faces of my vampire uncles, alternately bored, hungry, or aggravated looking. The other side at least has Layden’s family, but I can’t quite bring myself to look their direction because all I can do is stare at the floor as I take measured steps towards him.

My husband-to-be.

Layden.

He’s still as gorgeous as he ever was. It’s been hard to be near him since he called last month, needing my help.

After all this time, to hear his voice again… He only called because he had to. His family was in trouble. He had no other choice.

I can’t bring myself to lift my eyes to look up at him even as every step brings me closer. I can’t believe I allowed Grandfather to trap us in this ridiculous arranged marriage. It was everything I didn’t want.

Does Layden still hate me after how we left things ten years ago?

I would.

I climb the small step onto the elaborately decorated staging area where the priest Vlad arranged—more likely blackmailed or blood-compelled into being here—stands.

Layden’s black shoes have been polished to a mirror shine. His legs look nice, too.

“Phoenix,” his familiar voice whispers. “Are you all right?”

I nod, still not lifting my eyes or my head. I just can’t look at him. Not yet. It’s all too much. I’m still fighting the impulse to bolt for the door. If Vlad didn’t have a blood oath held over Layden’s family, I would.

But no. Vlad’s got us both exactly where he wants us. Like always.

The priest begins to chant the service. It’s a shortened ceremony, I notice, because he quickly gets to the, “Do you take this woman, Phoenix Dracul Tepes, as your lawfully wedded wife?” part.

“I do,” Layden says, loudly and solemnly. After hating his brothers for so long, now Layden would do anything for them. Even marry me.

I’m still staring at the floor, but when the priest puts the question to me, I’m finally startled into looking up.

“Do you take this man, Layden Eques, to be your husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do you part?”

I can’t breathe. That’s so much to promise. How did Layden just say, “I do,” so easily?

When my head finally swings up, I find the priest’s face. He’s an elderly man who looks kinder than I expect. It helps me squeak out, “I do,” with the last of the breath in my lungs.

I ought to be looking at Layden, I know. I just promised to have and hold him until death do us part. Which considering we’re both immortal beings… is awhile. I’m being cowardly, and I pride myself on my strength, usually.

I can feel his eyes on me.

Still, I can’t look at him, even as we exchange rings. I’m proud when my hand doesn’t shake as I lift the ring Sabra hands me to slip on the fourth finger of Layden’s left hand. His hands are warm. Mine are like ice. I try to touch him as little as possible as I slide the ring over his knuckle, then withdraw quickly.

He lingers, or maybe I just imagine he does, as his warm hands take my left hand in his.

“With this ring, I thee wed, and pledge my love and fidelity.”

He just added the last part. That wasn’t part of the priest’s script, was it? Everything’s moving so fast.

Layden’s still holding my hand and I blink up at him, confused. His gray eyes are dark with intensity as he stares down at me. Still, I can’t read the severe look on his stunningly attractive face.

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Between Brothers Read Online Stasia Black http://www.ilovenovels.com/between-brothers-read-online-stasia-black Mon, 01 Jan 2024 09:41:05 +0000 http://www.booksnovels.com/between-brothers-read-online-stasia-black Genre: Alpha Male, Fantasy/Sci-fi, Magic, Paranormal, Suspense Authors: Stasia Black Advertisement

Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 79726 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 319(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)

<<<<1 2 3 11 21 >86

Remus isn’t about to wait around for happiness. It’s time to go steal himself a consort.As for what his conjoined twin brother wants… well Romulus didn’t ask him before locking them up for two hundred years, did he?No, it’s time to take what should have been his long ago. And if Remus has to go to war with his own twin to get it… well let the games begin.

*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************

Chapter One

LAUREN

Please God or whatever deity may be out there—I just want to get laid.

Since I’m putting wishes out into the universe, I might as well be specific. I lift my pen again and tug the diary closer on the little café table.

Okay God, no, I don’t just want to get laid. I want to know what it feels like for a man to lay on top of me and worship my body because he can’t get enough of it. I want to know what all the books and movies are talking about. I want to experience it. I want to feel my body shake with a pleasure so shocking that I’ve barely recovered before I’m fucked again and keep coming, even harder.

I stare down at the shocking words and bite my bottom lip.

Then I sigh, looking out on the sunlit courtyard. I might as well be wishing to go to the moon. Maybe overdramatic, but there it is.

I know I’ve got far more pressing, realistic things I should be wishing for. To get another job. My unemployment benefits are about to run out. Even though I send out job applications every day, I’ve only gotten one interview. The woman barely looked at me the whole time. I tried to respond enthusiastically and fully to every question, but walking out of there, I knew I hadn’t gotten the job. That was two weeks ago, and it’s been crickets in my inbox since.

Which means I’m not moving out of my mother’s spare bedroom anytime soon. I sigh deeply and try not to feel defeated.

It’s a beautiful summer day in Springfield, after all. I’m seated with my laptop and journal at a table beside a big fountain in the center square. People walk around me in couples and groups. Moms push baby carriages, more kids scurrying beside them. Men carry their girlfriends’ or wives’ shopping bags.

A thousand lives are being lived around me while I sit here.

That’s me: always watching life go by, scared this is all I’ll ever be. Longing for a story that will never be mine. Scribbling dreams I know will never actually come to pass because all I can do is watch lives that belong to other people.

Which is BS. I have plenty of friends living big, vibrant lives. I’ve tried hanging around with them more, even if it’s mostly online. My mom never saw the optimistic side of anything, and sometimes it feels like she lives to tear me down so I’ll be right there, just as dour and down in the dumps as her.

Not that long ago, I had a job and a boyfriend and was out living. I thought that it meant things would only get bigger and better from there. It had for all my high school friends, or so their online pics proclaimed. There was a path to life we’d been told about since we were kids, ya know? College or something like it, the man of one’s dreams and a big white dress. Or if not that, then a career at least.

I’d felt close to having it all. And then, just like that poof, gone. I’m no one, with nothing to my name. No man, no job, no money, no college education. Starting over at twenty-eight. I try to shake it off. Just because the obstacles seem insurmountable doesn’t mean they actually are.

I pull out my phone for some perspective from some of my favorite influencers who remind me that ‘impossible’ is just a word.

Then I sigh again when an alarm goes off, telling me I only have another fifteen minutes here before I have to get back and take Mom to her doctor’s appointment. She can drive herself, but as she tells me constantly, “You’re lazy enough; you might as well be good for something and take me to my appointments.”

Which she has a lot of. Not because there’s anything actually wrong with her at a spry sixty-one, but she’s a hypochondriac with good insurance, so between the doctors and her weekly hair appointments, we spend a lot of time on the road together. And there’s nothing worse than being locked up in an enclosed space with a woman who loves to pick at all your flaws.

“Did you go for a walk yesterday? Really, Lauren. How do you expect to lose weight and find a man if you aren’t even trying?”

Or, “Why don’t you come in with me to the salon? That frumpy look isn’t going to get you any jobs. Employers respect presentation.”

My mother’s the kind of woman who puts make-up on to take mail to the mailbox. She cannot fathom that I, her daughter, her life’s great embarrassment, leave the house in leggings, a T-shirt, and no make-up. It’s why, though she expects me to drive her everywhere, she tells me to stay in the car instead of coming in with her to the actual appointments.

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Thing – A Monster Romance Read Online Stasia Black http://www.ilovenovels.com/thing-a-monster-romance-read-online-stasia-black Sat, 23 Sep 2023 20:10:30 +0000 https://www.booksnovels.com/thing-a-monster-romance-read-online-stasia-black Genre: Alpha Male, Dark, Fantasy/Sci-fi, Insta-Love, Paranormal Authors: Stasia Black Advertisement

Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 72515 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 363(@200wpm)___ 290(@250wpm)___ 242(@300wpm)

<<<<1 2 3 11 21 >78

Being the angel of death’s a lonely gig, and Thing’s been alone all his life, even when he wasn’t chained to a dungeon wall half-mad for two centuries.
He’s not like his brothers.
He’s come to prefer his solitude. Or so he thinks.
Because when a fierce woman with covered in blood comes crashing through the forest into his many arms, he begins to wonder if he might just want a consort of his very own…

*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************

Chapter One

THING

I was created to destroy.

My Creator-Father’s heart was full of hatred. The only thing he loved was power. For so many stretches of years, centuries, millennia, my brothers and I fought to bring him the power he craved.

We competed with one another to see who was the best monster. Our Father was the judge.

I was always found lacking.

Though I am the face of Death—one who swept so many humans from this plane of existence to the next (I lost count of the millions long ago)—I was never enough.

So I tried harder.

War after war, century after century, I swept through the mad darkness of battle and snatched men’s souls away. I took them down by the fistful—I who have so many fists. Six, to be exact. It was a mistake in my Creator-Father’s calculation to create a six-armed creature, but it is how I came out all the same. Six-armed and so massive, it is often more comfortable for me to lope like an animal on my lower pair of fists and feet.

I always came home to my Creator-Father at the end of each day, drenched in men’s blood, only to find him never satisfied. Or worse, to meet the angry end of his whip as punishment for his disappointment in me.

This is a cruel world, and I sometimes think I preferred the centuries when my brother chained me to the wall after my Creator-Father’s death. There at least, I had some measure of peace, or as much as a miserable monster like me would ever know. At least I could no longer bring ruin and darkness.

But now I am free once more, with the light of the cold sun upon my face.

I stand on the hard-packed snow and turn my face away from that bright star to look back upon the castle in this frozen land where my brothers and I have found our dwelling, far from the places of men.

The crystalline lake lies in the distance, snowy and ice-encrusted.

I prefer it out here, alone, to the new bustle inside the castle now that Abaddon has found a mate. Especially since their young kit, who they have named Raven, was born three months ago. She is such a. . . happy little creature. She gurgles and smiles and constantly grabs things with her curious little hands. My conjoined twin brothers Remus and Romulus delight in playing with her—well, Romulus does anyway—but I. . .

I stay back because looking at her sweet, beautiful, perfect little face hurts.

Yes, solitude is preferable. And only what you deserve.

I stalk the snowy land and gather wood for the fires or new furniture. There are so many rooms in the castle, and it is quite empty since Abaddon burned most of what our Creator-Father owned after his death.

I like the quiet out here. If not peace in the stillness of the endless snow, I find at least a kind of numbness, like the blunting cold that begins to make the feeling in my fingertips go dull, welcome.

I am relaxing into this numbness when suddenly—

Suddenly, I feel something.

A strange tugging from underneath my ribcage. It takes me off guard, and I move several steps backward. Only then do I catch a human’s scent on the wind and hear frantic footsteps in the snow.

Immediately, I step into the shadow, becoming invisible to the eyes of men. I crouch forward slowly, on alert, as I watch the narrow spaces between the frozen stalks of trees in the distance. Red flashes among the pristine white. Blood.

Immediately I go on alert and drop down on all fours as I stalk in the shadows. Shadow-walking is the other of my skills, in addition to realm-jumping.

I’m careful to stay quiet as I shadow-walk, crouched and quietly loping closer on my knuckles and feet. Thousands of years of being comfortable amongst the shadows have made me bold. I creep until I am quite close.

To my shock, I see the human is a woman.

She is not dressed for the weather. She has no jacket, instead only wearing pants and a shirt that bares her arms, both of which are covered in the bright stain of blood. The blood has accumulated on the shock of white-blonde hair and her face and neck.

She continues to run, eyes as wide and shocked as prey we chase down for food. She looks over her shoulder every few steps and continues her heedless flight forward.

Straight toward our castle. I frown, wondering if I should withdraw and warn Abaddon. He’s been so concerned and protective lately.

In addition to coming out for wood, I’m meant to be on patrol for anything out of the ordinary. We are under threat. Someone—an angel, no less—has been watching the castle. Romulus saw it when he scried. We do not know its intentions, but we do not need to know. Any angel-kind who returns to this realm will not look upon us favorably. We are abominations to them because our Creator-Father stole forbidden angel-spark from their plane to create us.

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Monster’s Bride Read Online Stasia Black http://www.ilovenovels.com/monsters-bride-read-online-stasia-black Sun, 11 Jun 2023 19:41:53 +0000 http://www.booksnovels.com/monsters-bride-read-online-stasia-black Genre: Alpha Male, BDSM, Dark, Erotic, Fantasy/Sci-fi, Paranormal Authors: Stasia Black Advertisement

Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 90404 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 452(@200wpm)___ 362(@250wpm)___ 301(@300wpm)

<<<<1 2 3 11 21 >94

I went in search of miracles… and stumbled upon a monster instead. In return for the healing I was so desperate for, I just had to make one teensy weensie promise… To be his consort for, uh…forever. To say I wasn’t exactly thinking things through when I said yes was an understatement. And now I’ve been whisked away to a castle in a wintry wonderland with a ginormous, ferocious chimera. You know, lion-like head, goat horns, big freaking wings. Yeah. And he’s just deposited me on his bed, ready to start making good on that whole consort promise. Apparently forever starts NOW. Gulp.

*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************

Chapter One

HANNAH

The path is rocky and I struggle with my crutches up the mountain.

I’m seeking a monster who can perform miracles, after all. So what else did I expect if not a struggle? But still, sweat pours down my forehead.

“How much farther?” I ask my guide, a young guy from the nearest town. He’s stopped up ahead. He doesn’t like moving as slowly as I do, so he keeps hiking further, then waiting till I catch up. But he’s the only one I could find who would even take me this far.

These mountain paths are treacherous, or so the locals have warned me. There’s no cell service out here, and though I have a sat phone, I’m not sure it will help me.

It certainly didn’t help the others who took this trail before me in search of miracles, and they were all able-bodied folks. We had to abandon my walker half an hour ago when the path became too narrow, and my balance is dicey at the best of times. And now that I’m so exhausted? I try to hug the side of the mountain path that’s by the forest; the other edge is a sheer cliffside. It’s not like there’s even a railing or anything to grab if I go stumbling that direction.

My guide—Keith—points up the path. “The cave is about a half mile more. That way. But this is as far as I go.”

I frown, confused. “But I paid for you to take me the whole wa—”

“I told you, lady. You’re crazy. No one comes back from here, and if anyone knew I even took you out this far…”

He shakes his head, looking worried. Then he slices his hand through the air. “No. You come back with me now. You got to see it. You can say you came up the mountain, and that it just didn’t work out. Look, I’ll take a picture of you so you can put it on your Insta and prove you did it.”

He pulls out his phone, obviously only for its camera function, since there’s no cell service.

“I’m not turning back.” I frown as he taps the screen, taking pictures of me, I can only assume. “I paid for you to take me as close to the cave as possible.”

He gestures around him. “This is as close as possible, and my mama would kill me if she knew I even went this far. I told you what happens on this mountain.”

He covers his eyes to block out the sun and look up the path toward the mountain that looms above us. The air is thick with mosquitos, but I’ve quickly learned that swatting at them is futile. They just swarm right back.

Keith shakes his head as he turns and starts walking back toward me. “Yeah, we should head back before the sun goes down. We have just enough time to make it to town. This went a lot slower than I expected.” He glances at my elbow crutches. “But if we leave now, we should be able to get far enough down to be safe.”

I dig my crutches into the dirt stubbornly. “I’m not turning back.”

The only person who has made it back alive from this trek is a child—a previously disabled child who has somehow been cured of his terrible scoliosis after visiting the mountain. He speaks of a monster so fierce and deadly, it’s scared away most since. Or so the rumors say. Most people think it’s just a story, one of those local legends. Especially since no one can find the boy, whose family has apparently moved away after the miracle.

But the legend has only grown. Especially since other adventure seekers coming this way recently, most seeking out the mythical beast, have a habit of going missing.

So why am I, a disabled woman alone, who has difficulties navigating a downtown street much less a mountain, attempting such a hike?

Likely because I’m a fool.

And because I’ve always had more heart than brains, or so my fifth-grade teacher said when I jumped off the swing-set when the swing was at its highest, so for once I could pretend to be like all the other kids.

What that teacher and many others along the way have tried to instill is that I am not like the other kids. My twisted spine, club foot, speech problems, and the neurological condition driving it all have placed limitations on me that mean I have to live differently—from the time my condition was discovered at age ten and onwards.

So I dig my arm crutches in, careful to wedge the spikes at the bottom between rocks to make sure I’m steady as I head up the steep path.

Considering the steep, treacherous fall to my left, I’m determined to be extra careful before swinging my body forward.

But forward I will go.

<<<<1 2 3 11 21 >94

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Lavish Corruption – Breaking Belles Read Online Alta Hensley, Stasia Black http://www.ilovenovels.com/lavish-corruption-breaking-belles-read-online-alta-hensley-stasia-black Fri, 24 Mar 2023 15:25:49 +0000 http://www.booksnovels.com/lavish-corruption-breaking-belles-read-online-alta-hensley-stasia-black Genre: Alpha Male, Billionaire, Dark, Romance Authors: Alta Hensley, Stasia Black Advertisement

Total pages in book: 63
Estimated words: 58521 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 293(@200wpm)___ 234(@250wpm)___ 195(@300wpm)

<<<<1 2 3 11 21 >63

Good girls don’t break rules—but for one night with him, any risk was worth it.

Walker St. Claire is my older brother’s best friend and strictly off limits. Especially while he’s an Initiate during his Trials to gain entrance to the secret society.
But after a lifetime of following the rules and being the good girl everyone expected me to be, I’m ready to break a few. Especially if it means Walker will finally turn his devilish gaze my way.
When he sees me at one of the secret society parties, at first he tries to get me thrown out. Until circumstances and his own needs force us together. I finally get what I’ve always craved—his hands on me. I drop to my knees before him, and finally, he stops seeing me as just his best friend’s pesky little sister.
One taste was never going to be enough. But when I go back for seconds, I’m suddenly caught in a web more dangerous than I ever knew.
Because a girl’s gone missing.
And I’ve been chosen to continue on at Walker’s side as her replacement.

*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************

1

WALKER

I took hold of her hair and yanked… hard.

Not for my own pleasure, but for those who were watching.

The belle’s head bobbed up and down dutifully as a belle was expected to do. Her lips tightened, her tongue licked and swirled, and she expertly kept her teeth away. She was doing everything right, kneeling between my legs, and yet… she wasn’t right.

My Trial, essentially an extended hazing process in order to win entrance into the Order of the Silver Ghost, and my 109-day stay in the Oleander Manor was going just as planned. My belle offered no resistance and actually seemed willing to be part of the entire process. With only three weeks left before completing the Initiation for membership to the Order, there were no issues. Unlike my five best friends who’d gone before me, there’d been no drama between me and my belle.

In fact, I had a feeling the Elders were extremely pleased with both me and her. I even saw approval flicker in my father’s eyes, which was a rare thing to see. He wasn’t a man—or an Elder—who could easily be pleased. But I was clearly making him and the St. Claire family legacy proud.

Which meant the outcome was all but assured: my inheritance would be passed to me and my belle would win her prize too. I didn’t know exactly what she’d asked for should she pass these Trials, but the Order were dream-makers. Whatever she’d asked for upon entering two and a half months ago would be hers. And I was happy for her, I really was. I just had no desire to see her after all this was over. She was nice, pretty, plenty lusty… and about as shallow as a puddle.

My belle—Cindy was her name—pulled away from me, wiped at the corners of her mouth, and looked up. “Do you want anything else, Sir?”

She glanced over her shoulder at the Elders watching from a distance and then returned her attention to me with a wicked grin. “We could give them quite the show if you want.”

She was also good at playing the game, I’d give her that.

Gripping her hair tighter and lowering her face back to my cock, I said, “I didn’t say you could stop.”

Did I speak loud enough so my father and the rest of the Elders could hear me and take notice of my dominance? Sure. But the reality was I didn’t want to do anything beyond what this belle was doing. Not if I didn’t have to. Not if it wasn’t required by a Trial. She was naked, sucking me off, and for tonight, that was all that would have to happen.

She dropped back down and took me down her throat.

Thank God I at least managed to stay hard.

Cindy and I had spent more time together than I had with anyone in my life before. I had sex with her multiple times in the kinkiest and most depraved ways due to the Trials. We ate every meal together, slept in the same bed every night, and yet… I had zero connection with this woman. Zero.

That made things easier since the entire goal of the Initiation Trial was to break the belle. Not having any real feelings for the woman made this entire process feel almost out of body. Robotic.

She made her decisions, and I made mine.

Like right now, I was deciding to envision it was Lara Stein from my senior year in high school sucking my dick. Lara hadn’t been nearly as good at giving head as my belle, but at least I could hold a conversation with her.

It was fine; I just had to go through the process and pay my dues. I would become a member of the Order like my father, my grandfather, and my great-grandfather before him. My connection to the Order of the Silver Ghost would guarantee my political future, and eventually the seat as governor of Georgia would be mine.

Then maybe I could actually do some real good.

Just put in the time. Every man who stood in this room earned their right to be here. Dressed in silver robes with tuxedos underneath, every one of them was a member of the Order. They each had to pass a 109-day Initiation that pushed them to the limits to be able to attend the events at the Oleander. This was a ritual dance that our forefathers had been performing for centuries.

The women, however… Besides my belle, I had no idea where they found the women for these parties. I never knew any of the faces. Were they whores from the city? Not even my best friends who’d become members before me knew much. Other than that, occasionally prospective belles who’d been rejected at the Midnight Ball came back for the parties in hopes of catching the eye of a wealthy man and becoming a mistress. Hey, different strokes for different folks.

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Who’s Your Alpha Daddy – Season Three Read Online Stasia Black http://www.ilovenovels.com/whos-your-alpha-daddy-season-three-read-online-stasia-black Fri, 20 Jan 2023 22:15:25 +0000 http://www.booksnovels.com/whos-your-alpha-daddy-season-three-read-online-stasia-black Genre: Alpha Male, Erotic, Romance Authors: Stasia Black Advertisement

Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 74196 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 371(@200wpm)___ 297(@250wpm)___ 247(@300wpm)

<<<<1 2 3 11 21 >77

LEANDER:
The woman with my twin babies in her belly ran. Again.
I want to chase her and tie her to the bed. Again.
I’ll make sure she enjoys it.
Truth is, I feel more and more like a caveman every day I go without seeing her face.
This sh#t’s instinctual.
She’s carrying my babies. So I want her in my cave.
I want to go hunt sh#t, kill it, and wrap her in my furs.
I’m trying to be a better man, though. To like… listen and s#it. Do things the right way.
Not sure it’s in my nature.
But I’ll do whatever it takes to bring my woman home.

*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************

Chapter 1

HOPE

“So you just left?” Makayla, my once client and current best friend in all the world stared at me open mouthed as she stuck her hands out again towards my stomach. We were standing in the foyer of her expensive hotel suite in Milan. She paused a hand-span away and lifted her eyebrows, asking permission.

I sighed and laughed tiredly, grabbing her hands and putting them on my belly. “Yes. I just left. Well, first I ditched my phone. After everything I learned about the guys, I wouldn’t put it past one of those bastards to have put a tracking app on it.” Even thinking about Leander, Janus, and Milo, even in the context of their obsessive, stalker ways, made my heart squeeze in pain. I tried to push them from my mind as I smiled at Makayla. “It did make for a boring train ride over here, though. Can I finally come all the way inside now?”

“Sure, but,” she frowned, her palms still pressed against my tummy, “I was hoping I’d feel something. When my cousin was pregnant I could feel the baby moving. Like a little alien inside her.”

I hugged her while she kept palming my stomach, searching for my alien. “Oh my God, I’ve missed you.”

When I finally pulled away, I sighed and dropped my bag to the floor. “Tell me you have… shit, I was about to say vodka.” I put the palms of my hands to my tired eyes. They felt like they’d been pummeled. “It is criminal not to allow pregnant women alcohol or caffeine!”

“I still can’t believe you’re gonna pop out twins.” Makayla hadn’t stopped staring fixedly down at my stomach ever since she’d opened the door.

“Yeah, yeah.” I reached down into my bag and pulled out some acetaminophen. I carried it everywhere with me these days for my aches and pains.

It was just my normal bag, but I always packed it like I was Mary Poppins. I could pull out anything on a moment’s notice. It had started feeling like it was filled with bricks about eight blocks ago.

Fucking Italy with its culture of walking everywhere. They clearly had not had pregnant women in mind when designing this damn place. I mean, yes to the food but Jesus, I needed one of those sexy little scooters I saw some people zipping around in if we stayed much longer.

And I guess that was the question, wasn’t it? Was I staying? … or going for good?

“Will you let me in the actual suite already?” I laughed tiredly, pushing past Makayla.

She’d texted me last week that she’d be here in Milan for a fashion show. At the time I said I hoped I’d be able to get out to see her. Serendipitous timing. Especially since I hadn’t even mentioned it yet to any of the guys. I kept meaning to but it slipped my mind.

And now she was my refuge.

“Aww, yeah. Come in, mama. Tell me all about it. I’ve got gelato.”

And just like that, I started bawling and telling her the whole tale as she led me to the couch and immediately came back with gelato, just as promised. Chocolate. My favorite.

“That horrid cow,” she said when I got to the part about Lena.

I nodded, wiping at my messy tears with the sleeve of my shirt. “I know, right? Can we put her picture up and throw darts at it?”

Makayla nodded. “We’ll find the ugliest ones on TMZ and print them out.”

“Oh, goody.” I clapped through my tears.

She gave me a one-sided shoulder hug. “It’s been a lot, it sounds like.”

I nodded, leaning my head on her shoulder and sinking there.

“You know what you need?”

I shook my head, eyes wet.

“All mamas and mamas-to-be deserve pampering! It sounds like these idiots have been running you ragged. Have you even been taking any me-time?”

I sniffled and tried to think. “Leander broke his leg, and he really needs a lot of help, and then there’s all the publicity, and it’s just been so nonstop—”

“Zip it!” Makayla made a motion across my lips with her fingers. “All I’m hearing are excuses for you not taking care of yourself. You’re growing a person inside you! You could lay on a couch all day and be the most productive person I know! I know this is an insane concept to someone like you—but it’s called taking a day off.”

I tried to shake my head. “I’m in Italy. My whole life is a day off.”

“Horse-shit. Everything you’ve described to me sounds stressful as hell. Come on. You were there when I told you about all the therapy I went through. And how even when good stuff is happening—or shit that should be good—on the outside, it doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to have all sorts of different feelings about it on the inside.”

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