Total pages in book: 114
Estimated words: 111165 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 556(@200wpm)___ 445(@250wpm)___ 371(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 111165 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 556(@200wpm)___ 445(@250wpm)___ 371(@300wpm)
I’m smiling like an idiot? I try and rein it in.
“It’s just Marina.”
“The hot blonde?” I give him a look. “What?” he says. “I told you I think girls are hot. I just don’t want to stick my tongue down their throat.”
“Well I don’t want to stick my tongue down Marina’s throat either,” I tell him. “We’re just friends.”
But even though what I just said was completely juvenile, it feels like a total lie.
And now Noah is looking at me like he doesn’t believe a word of it either.
“We’re just friends,” I repeat. Friends who are dating each other for fun. But there’s no way I’m getting into that with Noah right now. Everything is already starting to feel complicated and we’ve only just begun.
CHAPTER SEVEN
MARINA
“EASY TIGER”
“So what date is this?” Naomi asks with a sigh. “And yes, I’m doing air quotes when I say the word date.”
“Date number two,” I tell her. I wasn’t going to tell Naomi about what Laz and I were doing because she’d think the both of us were out of our minds and surprise, she thinks Laz and I are out of our minds.
“I just don’t understand any of it,” she says. “Why are you pretending to date each other? Why not just actually date each other?”
“Because we’re friends and only friends,” I remind her. “Laz doesn’t like me that way. I don’t like him that way.”
“Mmm hmmm,” she muses slowly. “You sound like you’re in grade school.”
“Because you seem to have a hard time understanding platonic relationships. It’s not getting physical. And we’re not, like falling in love with each other or anything.”
“Yet.”
I roll my eyes even though she can’t see me. “There is no yet. Laz and I are friends just as much as you and I are friends.”
“Right,” she says dryly.
“Naomi, you of all people, I expected to be supportive.”
“You really thought I would be supportive? Oh. Let me guess, you haven’t told Jane yet?”
“Hell no. She’d disapprove.”
“As do I.”
“Look, you know I have a problem so why not use Laz to solve that problem? I mean it makes perfect sense.”
Doesn’t it?
“Marina, your problem, and your only problem, is that you haven’t met the right guy yet. That’s it. There’s no magic fix to this. It’s the law of averages and the law of luck and the law of putting yourself out there that eventually you’re going to find the right guy.”
“I don’t think I like all these laws.”
“I know you think Laz is helping you, but honestly, as much as I like the guy, I wouldn’t take his advice seriously.”
“Why not?”
“Because…I know this is going to sound crude, but he fucks anything that walks.”
“He does not!” I cry out. “He has standards. He has girlfriends. He doesn’t sleep around.”
“Uh-uh. I don’t trust this whole serial monogamy thing. I think it’s bullshit. I think it’s a way for him to be a manwhore and a playboy and whatever else you want to call him without being slammed for it.”
“First of all, men don’t get slammed for being players. Girls do. And Laz isn’t the type of guy who would care what people think either way.”
“He’s an odd duck, I’ll give him that. But don’t kid yourself about him. He’s good as a friend but that’s about it. The guy can’t hold down a relationship to save his life. There’s a reason for that and one you don’t need to find out.”
“Naomi,” I whine, “we’re just friends and that’s it. This isn’t actually dating. We aren’t sleeping together. God, he hasn’t even kissed me yet.”
“Yet. See? Yet. Before you know it, you’ll be friends with benefits.”
“That only works if you just meet each other and decide to be fuckbuddies. We aren’t fuckbuddies. It’s too late for that. We’re just buddies. And I do want his advice because I think he knows what’s best for me.”
“Yeah, his dick.”
I groan. “I shouldn’t have told you.”
“You’re right, you probably shouldn’t have. But since you’re doing this anyway, let me know what his piercing looks like. Is it the Prince Albert or the Jacob’s Ladder or something else entirely...”
Back when Naomi and I first met Laz, we were intrigued by his supposed dick piercing, which led to many nights at our apartment drinking wine and googling all the possibilities.
Of course now, I’ve pretty much forgotten all about it.
Well, kind of. I know I shouldn’t think about his dick at all but the truth is I often do.
I think about how big it is.
What piercing he has.
What his balls look like.
If he hangs to the left or the right.
Actually, I know that last one. He hangs to the right. Hey, if he’s going to wear those tight, rock star jeans at his shows, then I’m going to notice his dick.
And, honestly, it hasn’t really been a problem for me. But now…I don’t know. Every single sexual thought I’ve ever had about Laz suddenly seems completely inappropriate now that we’re fake dating each other.