Total pages in book: 109
Estimated words: 101147 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 506(@200wpm)___ 405(@250wpm)___ 337(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 101147 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 506(@200wpm)___ 405(@250wpm)___ 337(@300wpm)
“She says it feels nice.” Kaja likes the wind in her hair. It’s the only thing she likes about being up so high. I caught her trying to see the ground more than once. If she makes it to the ground, she’ll be terribly disappointed. It’s noxious down there.
“And I think it’s charming, but the press is going to eat her alive over it. I hate it, but we’re a society that thrives on conformity. The occasional oddball can be celebrated, but only when said oddball makes a ton of money. Kaja is going to be seen as a cautionary tale if we don’t fix her.”
“She doesn’t need to be fixed.” This is exactly what I’ve been avoiding. This confrontation. I know Kaja doesn’t fit in. I know she’s miserable.
Not always, that inner voice says. When you’re inside her and you open up, she’s happy.
But it isn’t enough.
Susan stares out the window. It’s a rainy day. Gray clouds roll by, making the world seem foggy. “Mom thinks bringing in a tutor would help. Kaja can learn to read and how our society works. I’ve already ordered a wardrobe fit for a princess, and I can have Dellacorp’s media advisor train her on how to deal with the press.”
“No,” I say as fast as I can get the word out of my mouth. I’m not about to let the media advisor anywhere near Kaja. Jana is a shark. She’ll eat Kaja up and spit her out. And I slept with Jana. She’s such a bitch she’ll probably throw it in Kaja’s face just to spite her.
Susan rolls her eyes. “Fine. I’ll try to find someone you didn’t sleep with, though that makes my job hard.”
Maybe Susan is right. Maybe all Kaja needs is time and some training to adjust to her new home. A little kindness from you wouldn’t hurt, asshole. I ignore that increasingly loud voice. A present. I’ll get her a present, and that will pacify her.
I have work to do. Work I don’t care about.
“Do what you need to do, Susie. I’m up to my eyeballs in this sunscreen project.” My eyes trail back to the desk and my mountain of paperwork, but my brain goes to a different place. I think about the forest and how Kaja looks naked on the grass.
Susan considers me carefully. “Yes, I can see that. It surprises me.”
“Because you’re shocked I can be professional?” There’s the bitterness that always lurks under the surface.
“No,” Susan replies with a tired smile. “That’s not what surprises me. I’m a little anxious about this turn in your behavior because I always believed you would leave this plane entirely and join Beck and Ci and fight for their cause. I don’t know how I feel about it. Part of me is utterly thrilled that I don’t have to worry about you dying in their war. And part of me aches because I don’t think this is who you are.”
Tears threaten. I bite them back. I never once imagined my sister knows me so well. I would tell anyone who asked that my sister rarely thinks of me at all outside of how obnoxious I can be. Was that all my flawed perception? “This is who I was raised to be.”
She shakes her head. “Oh, you’re more, little brother. I always knew that. You’re the kid who took on the older, bigger boys because they made fun of a girl you liked.”
Fourth grade. Trista. A very nice peasant girl on scholarship. I had no intentions toward her. She was funny and sweet. She didn’t deserve to be picked on by sixth graders. I nearly got suspended for the fight I started. “I was young then.”
Susan’s hair shakes as she leans forward. “You think I don’t know some of the things you’ve done? How about paying for our old nanny’s nursing home? You did that out of your own pocket.”
“The state-run places are terrible. I couldn’t send her there. You would have done the same thing.”
She sighs. “I didn’t keep in touch with her. You give a damn, Dante. You just don’t like to show it. You’re a crusader who’s hidden himself away as a playboy. I’ve always thought of it as you trying to reconcile Dad’s world with the one in your heart.”
“That’s a bit dramatic. I think I’ve always been trying to live up to Dad’s expectations and failing spectacularly.”
“Only because you never understood what Dad really wanted. He wanted you to find something you were passionate about. He wanted you to be happy. I don’t think you’re happy, Dante. I don’t think you were happy when you were partying, and I don’t think you’re happy behind a desk.”
I’m not. And it’s awful that someone sees it. I have everything a person could want, and I’m not happy. But you were. You were happy with Kaja in the woods. You were complete. “Maybe some people aren’t smart enough to be happy.”