Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 101101 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 506(@200wpm)___ 404(@250wpm)___ 337(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 101101 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 506(@200wpm)___ 404(@250wpm)___ 337(@300wpm)
“Before we do the procedure, I need to confirm there is a pregnancy,” the doctor says.
I watch the screen as he moves the probe around my belly. And when a loud whooshing sound hits the quiet room, I release a sob, unable to hold it back anymore.
My baby.
My sweet, innocent baby is going to be taken from me before he or she ever gets a chance to breathe.
The doctor nods and then lifts a mask over my face.
“Don’t worry,” he says as my head becomes fuzzy. “You won’t feel a thing.”
If only that were true …
1
Brielle
Six Years Later
“Please, harder!”
Theo nods, and his arms come down on either side of my head.
For a moment, I think, This is it—he’s finally going to give me what I need.
Until he gently glides inside me. His mouth curves against mine, and his tongue slides in. And I can’t help thinking that he kisses the same way he fucks—like I have a handle with care sticker attached to my forehead.
I try to shift my hips, hoping to somehow find the sweet spot that will send me over the edge, but it’s nowhere to be found.
“Harder,” I beg, craving the release that I already know I’m not going to get—at least not until he’s done and I’m alone in the bathroom so I can do it myself.
“I’m trying,” he says, his face scrunching up, as if it physically pains him just to think about doing what I’m asking of him. “But I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You’re not going to hurt me,” I tell him, pushing him off me and clambering back, wishing I had never confided in him.
“Brielle,” he sighs as he edges off the bed and runs his fingers through his dirty-blond hair. He’s still partly dressed, his shirt unbuttoned and his pants undone. He stuffs his still-hard cock back inside. “I’m trying, but you’re asking me to do things I’m not comfortable with. I love you. I’m never going to hurt you. You’ve been through a lot and …”
I stumble off the bed, taking the sheet with me to cover myself up.
“I was there,” I hiss. “I was the one who was thrown onto the bed and held down while a man I despised raped me. So, don’t tell me what I’ve been through and what I need.”
I turn my back on Theo and stomp into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me.
“Brielle, please,” he says through the door as I grab my clothes and get dressed. “Come back out here so we can talk about this.”
“I don’t want to talk!” I bark. “I wanted to fuck … hard, but you ruined the mood.”
The same way he always ruins the mood.
Not that there was ever really a mood to begin with.
Especially after I made the mistake of telling him about my past.
I’d woken up from a nightmare after falling asleep at his place one night—until then, since I’d never spent the night with anyone, I hadn’t realized that when I had a nightmare, I spoke and screamed out loud. When he asked me what was wrong, I was shaken up and vulnerable, and I told him what had happened to me six years ago.
Before my admission, our sex life hadn’t been all that good, but after he found out I had been raped and forced to have an abortion, it only got worse.
Missionary.
Slowly.
Gently.
And God forbid I attempt to suck his dick.
I once tried to get him to push my head down, and he told me I was broken.
“Brielle, I think you should see a therapist,” Theo murmurs.
And I think you should learn how to fuck a woman properly … but here we are.
Grabbing the towel closest to me, I bring it up to my face and scream into it. Even with the material muffling the sound, I’m sure he can hear my frustration out there.
“Brielle!” Theo bangs on the door. “Are you okay?”
“No!” I yell, sliding my heels onto my feet and then unlocking the door. “I’m not okay. I’m horny and unsatisfied, and I’ve had enough of you treating me like I’m a broken, fragile little thing!”
I stare at him, wishing I could feel something, anything.
He’s not wrong.
I am broken.
But I thought maybe Theo could help fix me. He’s sweet and loyal and so damn considerate. He’s everything I’m supposed to want, yet I still feel this void inside me.
“I can’t do this anymore,” I choke out. “I think you’re a great guy, but you’re not the guy for me.”
“Because I won’t hit you in bed?” he asks, a mixture of confusion and concern written all over his features.
“No.” I shake my head. “Because … because …”
“Brielle …” He steps toward me, but I take a step back. “Are you really going to sabotage everything we have when you can’t even tell me what’s wrong?”