Total pages in book: 16
Estimated words: 14761 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 74(@200wpm)___ 59(@250wpm)___ 49(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 14761 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 74(@200wpm)___ 59(@250wpm)___ 49(@300wpm)
My heated skin only gets worse. “I shouldn’t have done that. It’s the form of my mentor. Copying someone’s entire form isn’t . . . Well, it’s not good.”
“I won’t lie. I prefer your normal form.” His lips curve. He’s fully relaxed, not scared at all. It should represent a great failure on my part, but my chest goes strangely, pleasantly warm. “Have you been a sleep paralysis demon long?”
I sigh. “No. You’re my first solo experience. I was in training twice as long as my peers, and most of them have already moved up in the hierarchy to gather more humans. Judging from this experience, I won’t be moving anywhere—I’ll be getting disappeared.”
Caleb’s eyes fly open. It’s not possible that I forgot how green they are, but they seem particularly green right now. “What do you mean disappeared?”
I shrug, fighting to keep the tension from my body, as if this isn’t life and death. “Demons who fail one too many times disappear. No one knows where they go, but there hasn’t been a single one who’s been seen again.”
“Well, then, failure is not an option.” He reaches out tentatively and closes his hand around my wrist. It’s a gentle touch, one I could break easily without using even a fraction of my strength.
I don’t pull away. I relish the warmth of his palm against my skin. “That’s a nice thought, but I’ve already failed.” More than once, though I can’t be certain if both the encounters with Caleb have been marked against me. Maybe it’s only the old training failures that dog my steps . . . except that’s not right either. Ralph saw me stealing his form. He may care about me enough to have spent extra time nurturing my so-called skills, but that doesn’t mean he’ll look the other way if I keep screwing up.
His grip tightens as panic flickers through him. He seems to make an effort to loosen his grip, though. Caleb exhales slowly and visibly tenses. “You can scare me now if you want.”
I sigh. “I really don’t want to.” It’s unforgivable to admit as much, let alone to admit it to him, but I’ve already broken so many unspoken rules. What’s one more? That tiny thread of honesty leads to more. “I don’t like the taste of fear.”
“You don’t like my fear?” He sounds almost hurt.
“I don’t like any fear. It’s so sour and sticks in my throat.” Confessing that feels like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. It won’t make any difference, not when this is my last shot to continue to be part of demon society. If I fail here, I fail everything.
Caleb sits up slowly, almost like he’s afraid I’ll flit away if he moves too quickly. He’s taller than I realized, only a few inches shorter than I am. And he smells good, like something earthy I can’t quite put a name to. “Okay, this is just a problem we have to solve.” He’s looking into the middle distance, not quite seeing me as he seems to focus his entire being on this problem. “Are you monitored on your . . . visits?”
“No.” I watch him closely. This distracted expression feels deeply familiar. “But if I start to starve, it will quickly become apparent.” A starving demon starts to literally waste away. It’s a horrifying sight to witness and agonizing to experience. Or at least it appears agonizing.
“You’ll be safe as long as you’re not starving?”
I don’t know if it’s as simple as that, but I nod all the same. “More or less.”
“Then we just need to figure out what emotion I can feed you.” His face flames and his lust surges, strong enough to make me warm, but he’s still very carefully not looking at me. “What are our options?”
I’m embarrassed, he’s embarrassed, but curiosity overrides my desire to throw myself under the bed and hide for all eternity. “You already know lust is one.”
He clears his throat a few times. “Yeah, but you didn’t seem comfortable with that, and I don’t want to put you in a position where you can’t say no.”
I blink. “Shouldn’t you be worried about yourself, not me?”
“Gemma.” He finally looks at me. He’s still blushing furiously, but he manages to hold my gaze. “I am absolutely on board with feeding you lust if that’s what you want. You’re beautiful and interesting, and the only side effect I noticed was being a little tired the next day. Whether that’s because you fed on my lust or because I stayed up the rest of the night, doing . . .” Against all logic, his blush deepens. “Anyway, I’m good with it if you are.”
Am I good with it? It’s not in the job description, but ultimately we’re left up to our own discretion on how to feed. It would mean lying to Ralph when he checks in with me, but that’s nothing new. I’ve lied to him from the moment I told him I was ready to do this on my own. I didn’t lie well, but I can work on that.