Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 73162 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 366(@200wpm)___ 293(@250wpm)___ 244(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73162 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 366(@200wpm)___ 293(@250wpm)___ 244(@300wpm)
Some people might think I’m crazy, trusting an ex-con, but those people haven’t read Kane’s letters. They’re so deep and thoughtful and personal. I could feel his heart in every line. Even though it was nothing but words on paper, it was enough to let me really know him…and I know that he’d never hurt me. But where do we go from here? Well, to be honest, I’m not sure.
I don’t want him to leave—that’s the one thing I’m sure of. I think I can get Cookie to offer him a job and of course he can stay with me. I want to help him get back on his feet and reacclimate to the outside world.
But for now, I just want to be close to him. He smells so good and I feel so warm with his big body surrounding mine.
I might not have known my big brother for long, but I already love him. Not like that, though, I hasten to tell myself. I love him in the right way—the family way. Nothing else.
Secure in that knowledge, I finally drift off to sleep in his arms.
10
CONNOR
I wake up early—even earlier than Sunny—and get silently out of bed. I need to leave and let her get on with her life, even though the thought of never seeing her again makes me feel like my heart is being cut up by a sharp pair of scissors. Still, it’s better this way.
I pull on my jeans and socks and work boots and I’m about to squeeze into the too-tight black t-shirt again when I hear Sunny say,
“Good morning, big brother. And where do you think you’re going?”
“Um…” I turn to see her staring at me in the darkness. She flips on the bedside light and both of us wince at the sudden brilliance, even though it’s not really that bright.
“You wouldn’t be slipping out on me, would you?” Sunny arches an eyebrow at me. “Because that wouldn’t be very nice of you.”
I sigh and run a hand through my hair.
“Look, I just think maybe it would be better if I got going, you know?”
“No, I do not know,” she said tartly. “Just where are you going? Do you have a job lined up?”
Actually, I have a multinational corporation to run that I’ve been neglecting for far too long. But Kane doesn’t have anything like that.
“No,” I admit, sticking to my “big brother” persona.
“And do you have anywhere to live?” she demands.
I have to say “no” again, since the Kane I made up for her is definitely homeless.
“I didn’t think so,” she says. “So why not stay here with me until you can get on your feet?”
“Stay here?” I ask blankly.
“With me,” she repeats. “Look, our last dishwasher quit a week ago and Cookie is looking to find a new one. I know it’s not a very glamorous job but I thought it would let you save a little until you can get out on your own.”
After working in the prison kitchen—which included dishwashing duty—I swore I’d never do anything like that again. But if it lets me stay close to Sunny…
No, you can’t stay close to her! a guilty voice shouts in my head. You want more than she can give and you know it!
“I can’t, baby,” I say heavily. “I think maybe it’s just better if we go our own ways. I don’t think I’d be any good for you, hanging around here.”
I’m standing by the side of the bed and Sunny is still half reclined, leaning on one elbow and looking up at me. But when she hears my words, a determined look comes over her pretty face and she gets out of bed and comes over to me. She looks me right in the eye and asks,
“Does this have anything to do with what happened last night?”
I feel my stomach twist into a knot of guilt but I don’t let it show on my face. After years in prison, I’m good at concealing my emotions.
“What happened last night?” I repeat.
“You know when you, er, were stroking yourself.” Her cheeks get pink with embarrassment but she refuses to break eye-contact.
Inwardly, I groan. And then outwardly too, because I can’t fucking hold my poker face around her for some reason.
“Fuck—you saw that?”
“I was only half asleep,” she admits. “Look, Kane…” She puts one small hand on my bare chest. “I think I understand what’s going on.”
“You do?” I’m surprised that she doesn’t seem at all upset.
“Yes, I do.” She nods firmly. “You haven’t had any contact with a woman in over three years. It’s like that part of you is starved. I don’t blame you for looking at me while you, uh, gave yourself pleasure anymore than I would blame a starving man for taking some food from my kitchen.”
Her words so exactly echo my own thoughts from last night that I’m stunned into silence for a moment. At last I lay a hand over hers, which is still planted in the middle of my chest.