Total pages in book: 53
Estimated words: 52357 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 262(@200wpm)___ 209(@250wpm)___ 175(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 52357 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 262(@200wpm)___ 209(@250wpm)___ 175(@300wpm)
I’ve been without mine for years now. Not that anyone knows it.
Four to be exact. After years of flirtatious friendship, I let things go too far.
For her, I walked away. For my club, I left the only good thing I’ve ever held in my life behind. She is my weakness. It puts her at risk. And I stupidly fell in love with by far the most important female to just about every Hellion outside of their own ol’ ladies.
For me, I live in purgatory knowing the very essence of having something good and leaving it behind. I won’t put her in danger. My feelings for her only escalated the value she is as a target to rattle the club. She’s always going to be on radar, she’s the overall President’s daughter, but I didn’t want to add to her importance to an outsider.
Rex stands and moves to the door taking my attention away from my own sorrows. When BW Crews comes in, they greet in a man hug, the uncle and nephew embracing, all while I sit in place wondering why he is here and did his whole family come?
BW and I have a history. Not a bad one. He’s a brother in the Haywood’s Landing Chapter and truly a man I stand behind, beside, or in front of. His damn name is legacy, but the man himself lives up to it. Blaine Ward Crews, known as BW is named for Blaine “Roundman” Reklinger, his grandfather and the entire reason the Hellions exist today. The whole fucking family lives for this club in a way no one else ever will.
It’s his sister that gets me twisted inside.
The one that got away.
The untouchable treasure.
Forbidden fruit.
The sweetest thing I’ve ever held in my life and yes, I walked away. Yes, BW knows what I shared with Dia. After the night it got too heavy, I called a meeting with BW and Tripp. Man to man I laid it out. Then I explained I was walking away and transferred here. No one, not even Little Foot knows the conversation I had with BW and Tripp. It’s not anyone’s business.
I signal to Jeanne, the bartender, “Johnnie Walker neat.”
She gives me a nod and gets to it. The glass is in front of me as BW approaches. I’m halfway through tossing it back as I feel him squeeze my shoulder. I down the whole thing letting the burn hit me the entire way down.
I turn to look at him as his mouth pulls into a half-smile. The cocky grin that tells everyone he owns any damn room he walks into. We’re all built like this to some degree. BW was practically born oozing confidence.
“What’s with the shaggy hair, brother?” he says shoving me a bit.
I smile, “gives the barflies something to grab when I’m eating that snatch.”
We both laugh as he gives a nod to Jeanne, “Crown and coke,” he orders as Little Foot gets off his stool making room for BW beside me. I give her a nod for another drink.
“Lookin’ tired, man,” he tells me what I already know. “Bein’ away from the coast, it’s aging you, man.”
“Fucker.” I tap the bar waiting for another whiskey. I’m exhausted and really don’t have the energy for him, but he’s here, so he gets my time and respect. “What brought you inland?”
Everything shifts. Casual goes away and in its place is worry. He lets out a slow breath, shifting to rest his elbows on the bar. His posture is tense as he rests his head in his hands.
“What is it?” I ask losing the little buzz I had started. For him to stand here in front of me of all people, knowing what he knows, there is only one reason for him to change. My gut churns. “Is Dia okay?”
He shakes his head. The one woman who can turn my world upside down and he’s here for me… but for what?
“Spit it out, you road hours here, for what?”
“Dia needs you.”
One sentence and it all crashes around me. The woman I left behind. It’s taken me years to get okay with walking away. And I can’t actually say I’m okay, but I am surviving without her. There was a time I considered giving it all up for her.
But the man I am, the things I’ve seen and done, they taint her.
I won’t do that ever again.
I put the distance between us. I have stayed away. Avoiding the annual barbecues, taking runs that keep me away if she’s coming here to visit family. I do anything and everything to make sure nothing about me ever touches her again.
His sentence brings back every feeling. The passion, the desire, love, and the pain.
I pick up the fresh drink in front of me. “She needs anyone but me.”
His eyes grow dark. “You know that’s bullshit. It’s always been you.”