Total pages in book: 140
Estimated words: 132625 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 663(@200wpm)___ 531(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 132625 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 663(@200wpm)___ 531(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
“We planned that when we thought she was missing. The fact that she’s not is something to celebrate.”
“I agree, but it doesn’t change anything between us.”
I can’t look at him. Not if I want any chance of holding myself together. “You’re not mine, Kendrick. I’ve always known you weren’t mine.”
He takes me by the shoulders and slowly turns me to face him. I stare at his chest, afraid I might break if I look into those blue eyes. “But I am,” he says. His hands slide down my arms and he steps closer until I surrender and lean against him. He threads his fingers into my hair, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. “What you think you know is irrelevant. I am wholly and completely yours and no matter what the oracle says, no matter what is or isn’t tattooed on my skin, that will be true until I draw my last breath, and it will still be true when I roam the lonely fields of the Twilight waiting for the moment my soul meets yours again.”
I can feel Crissa’s eyes on me as I move through the room, preparing for bed. I pretend I don’t notice, finish my nightly routine, light a small candle beside my bed to burn through the night, and slip between the covers. “Just turn down the lantern when you’re ready to sleep,” I say, forcing myself to give her a smile. She certainly deserves more than a little gratitude from me.
“You are in love with him, with Kendrick the Chosen.”
I hate that title. Every time I hear it, I’m reminded of who he is and who I’m not. He’s not mine and I can’t be his. “It doesn’t matter,” I say.
She douses the lantern between our beds and sits on the edge of hers. “If there is a world where love does not matter, I hope I never have to live in it.”
I roll to my back and stare at the ceiling, focusing on the shadows my candle’s flame has dancing there. “Kendrick is going to be a great king and you will be a great queen. I can love him and not want to interfere with that. This is about something bigger than me. And besides”—I swallow—“he will make a good husband and you deserve that.”
Sighing, she maneuvers under the covers. “You don’t need to be jealous of me. What Kendrick and I have been chosen to share—it’s nothing like what you two have. I am going to grow old and my king will stay young until long after I’m gone. This is the way it was always done before the Seven came into power. It is the best way to keep a human queen protected. It isn’t any kind of marriage I would choose. We can’t have children. We won’t grow old together. And he’ll never look at me the way he looks at you.”
I shouldn’t ask, but I’m too broken to resist. “And how does he look at me?”
“Like he would climb into the sky and rearrange the stars on your behalf.”
My heart twists painfully in my chest as I remember the advice Remme once gave me. Then you go find yourself a world with a whole new night sky. I swallow hard. “Why is it like that? A fae king, a human queen?”
“Every tradition from the old times was about protecting the queen. She was to be human so that she would best understand and therefore protect the weakest in the realm, and he was to be fae so he could guard her with his own immortality. He was to marry her so he would always be closer to her than anyone else.”
“He will make an amazing king,” I whisper. “Elorans deserve the pair of you to lead them into a better era.”
“It wouldn’t bother me if you wanted to stay—if you remained his lover, even after our marriage.”
She doesn’t mean to be cruel. It’s probably the best offer I could ask for. But I’m not the same girl I was during those years I hid inside my sister’s palace. I know my worth now. If I am lucky enough to see a life beyond my eighteenth birthday, I won’t disgrace that gift by living in the shadows. I deserve a life in the sun. “I’m not interested in that arrangement,” I say as gently as possible, “but there is another way you can help me.”
She perks up. “Anything. Tell me.”
“Tell me how to reach the oracle.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Felicity
When I open my eyes at first light, a heavy arm is draped over me, a big hand splayed against my belly—my soft belly. Mine.
I pull in a deep breath and revel in the way it fills my lungs. It feels so good to be in my own skin I want to stretch like a cat. But I don’t want to disturb Misha, who’s sleeping behind me. I don’t know what to expect when he wakes, and I don’t want to miss a single moment of him holding me like this.