Total pages in book: 140
Estimated words: 132625 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 663(@200wpm)___ 531(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 132625 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 663(@200wpm)___ 531(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
I curl my nails into my palms, relishing the sting. “How can you say that like it’s nothing? Like I’m overreacting?”
“It’s not nothing, and I know that.” He holds out a hand as if I’m an injured animal who might strike if he’s not cautious. “How could I tell you the truth? How could I admit I only pretended to be human in that cell when you hate the fae so much? I needed you—still need you—and I didn’t want to scare you.”
Anger surges and I cling to it. “That’s why you lied? So I wouldn’t be scared? Try. Again.”
“Not at first, but I wanted to tell you the truth and, honestly, after everything that happened before you left, everything you were learning about Elora and the history, I thought you were going to figure it out soon anyway. But I never guessed it would make you run from us.” His voice dips, goes raspy. “I’m sorry.”
“And what about your deal with Mordeus? Did you think I’d figure that out too?”
He squeezes his eyes shut and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I will never forgive myself for not seeing through that request.” When he looks at me again, it feels as if he’s looking right into my soul. As if he’s begging me to look into his. “Can you blame me for taking that deal? I didn’t know what Mordeus had planned or what he was doing to you. All I knew was that in return for him freeing my queen, I had to keep a girl alive. A girl who was so scared and whose kindness I could feel from my cell. A girl I came to care about a great deal. Once I met you, I would’ve done whatever was necessary to protect you even if it hadn’t been part of our agreement.”
“But you weren’t protecting me. You were as good as those bars keeping me locked there. You gave me false hope. You might as well have been the one holding me down while he carved his knives into my skin.”
Kendrick flinches. “If I could change things . . .” He shoves off the bed and stalks toward me. “No. I’d still keep you alive. Maybe I would’ve tried harder to kill him, but I wouldn’t have let you give up.”
I hang my head and hate myself for how reassured his words make me feel.
“I don’t have it in me to let you give up. I didn’t then, and I don’t now.” He comes closer, his fingers brushing my arm.
I jerk away before his touch can melt me. Even though I need it. Even though part of me would happily lie to myself forever if it meant I could forgive him, forgive it all, and go back with him. But I can’t. “Maybe you never meant to hurt me, and maybe I could forgive that deal, but the company you keep says a lot about you.”
He straightens. “I don’t know what you mean. Is this about the others? Skylar? Remme? Did one of them do something?”
“I don’t know about them.” I shrug. I want to trust them but every time I trust again, I’m made a fool. “Your friend Shae.”
His face turns stoic. “What about Shae?”
“I saw him in my dreams—in Mordeus’s memories. He promised to bring me to Mordeus when the time was right. I think . . .” Why am I here? Why am I trusting him? Why do I so badly want to believe Kendrick doesn’t know about Shae’s exchange with Mordeus? Isn’t it just as likely that Kendrick was in on it too?
But I don’t believe that. I can’t.
“I think he has something to do with this blood magic that’s connected me to Mordeus—he’s involved with bringing Mordeus back.”
“Tell me what you know.”
Can it hurt? Explaining all this? Either he’s in on it and already knows or he’s not and needs to understand his friend is a liar. “I had these dreams—dreams where I was Mordeus.” I lick my dried-out lips. “I thought they were just nightmares. Just my twisted subconscious making me feel as dark and ugly inside as he is. But then Natan told us what he’d found out about the blood magic and the ring and the connection between me and Mordeus, and it started to click. They weren’t dreams. They were memories. And the memory of your friend Shae? He told Mordeus he’d win my trust and bring me to him so that Mordeus could ‘rise again.’ What does that sound like if not using me to bring Mordeus back to life?”
“And you’re sure the male from your dream—from the memory—was Shae?”
“When I saw him in my dream, I didn’t have any idea he had any connection to you, but I would never forget that face. Those eyes. Then, that last morning in Ironmoore, I saw him sitting in the kitchen and it all came together for me.” I flick my gaze to Kendrick and take in the angry lines on his face. “You don’t look surprised.”