Total pages in book: 140
Estimated words: 132625 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 663(@200wpm)___ 531(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 132625 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 663(@200wpm)___ 531(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
“So he painted a pretty picture for you so you wouldn’t fight your way out.”
I shake my head slowly. “But it wasn’t all pretty. I was always worried that Konner was going to be hurt serving the palace. And then the palace was under siege, and I ran to protect my mother.” I hold my brother’s gaze and remind myself he’s the only real brother I have. The only one who counts. “You were there, and you were trying to kill her. I hated you so much in that moment that I didn’t hesitate.” The tears I was determined to hold back spill down my cheeks.
He reaches across the table and grabs my hand. “It’s okay. It wasn’t real.”
But it felt so real. “It wasn’t until I plunged the knife into your chest that any memories of this life even flickered for me.” I blow out a breath. “I don’t understand why he would plant that. Why show me killing someone I love? Why risk my mind rejecting that moment?”
“And why show you a life full of worries? Why not just make it all good?”
“And that doesn’t even address the biggest question of all,” I say, pulling my hand out from under his and leaning back in my chair. “Why am I still alive? Erith’s wanted me dead since before I was born, and they had me for months. Why did they let me live and why did they plant those fake memories in my mind?”
“The memories could be nothing more than a manipulation,” Hale offers. “By the way you describe it, it felt real to you. That will inevitably affect the decisions you make. Maybe they need you alive for some reason but thought they could control you through the memories.”
I nod, but I’m not convinced. Nothing makes sense to me right now.
“Lis?” When I lift my head, Hale studies me for a long time. His throat bobs before he finally speaks. “There are so many days lately where it feels like fate is against us. But seeing you here? Knowing you haven’t been taken away? I’m hopeful again. For the first time in a long time.”
“Do you think they’ll find Jasalyn?”
“I’ve spent months scouring this court. Not that it matters.” He sets his jaw and glares at nothing. “It’s maddening. Anyone she’s seen won’t remember her.”
“And you’re sure she’s . . .” I trail off. The question is too cruel.
“She’s alive. I set wards at Feegus Keep that would alert me if she went there. They were triggered, and I went searching. All I remember is being attacked by a pack of death dogs they had locked in the basement, and then when I woke up, I was in the infirmary at Ironmoore, all stitched up. I could smell her. I know she’d been there.” He braces his forearms on his thighs and hangs his head. “I felt it in my gut.”
“You really have feelings for her, don’t you?”
He shakes his head before lifting it to meet my gaze. “I have feelings for a lot of people. For Jasalyn I have . . . I’m in love with her, Lis. And I lost her.” His chuckles darkly and throws back the rest of his drink. “I fucking lost her and if we don’t find her and undo what Mordeus put into motion with the blood magic, with that ring . . . I’ll never get her back.”
I don’t see how they’re going to do all that beyond finding the princess, but I don’t need him to explain it to me now. One problem at a time.
When he lifts his gaze to meet mine, he can’t hide his exhaustion. “I was taking notes while she was still with us—once the ring wouldn’t come off.” He pulls a leather-bound book from inside his vest and drops it on the table. “One of the last notes I wrote to myself the day she disappeared was that I needed to tell her the truth about who I am. She thought I was human.”
“You think she left when she found out.”
“It’s possible. I’ve been walking around thinking she hates me, but I think she’s the one who got me to the infirmary and stitched me up after those death dogs tried to tear me apart. And if I’m right about that, maybe there’s a chance she’ll forgive me.”
“We’ll find her.” My heart aches for my brother, but I can’t help but wonder if he’s abandoned his mission from home. I have to ask. “And when we do, what will you do then? You’ve been chosen to protect the next Eloran queen. Will you refuse that call to be with Jas?”
There’s nothing but torture in his ice-blue eyes. “Crissa’s still missing too.” The Eloran queen, like all Chosen queens of the realm, is human, and her mortality makes her vulnerable. Maybe even more vulnerable than Jas, who Mordeus needs to keep alive for the time being. “The whole thing is a mess. There are so many people counting on me, and yet I can’t think about anything but getting Jas back.” He stares up into the night sky. “Tell me what you saw in her memories. What did he do to her in there?”