Total pages in book: 140
Estimated words: 132625 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 663(@200wpm)___ 531(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 132625 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 663(@200wpm)___ 531(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
I don’t reply to any of the fawning compliments or meet any of the longing stares of my sister’s guests. I head straight for the stairs, stopping only briefly at the landing that overlooks the ballroom.
My heart aches as I stare at the gathering below.
I spent three years dreading or outright avoiding my sister’s balls, and now I would give anything to stand by her side through just one. When the female at her side turns, my breath catches. A shifter pretending to be me? Would they dare around so many people? Or did they find Felicity?
Felicity makes a better princess than I ever did. I take a step back from the rail, not wanting to risk any of the partygoers seeing two princesses in one night. Not that it would matter for long, since they would forget as soon as I left their sight.
The halls seem bigger than before as I navigate my way through them toward the chamber next to mine. When I get there, I enter without knocking.
Kendrick’s sitting shirtless in bed, leaning against the headboard with a book in his lap. He jerks his head up, his eyes widening, his lips parting. He scans me as if he’s looking for injury, skimming over my riding leathers and taking in the sword at my back and the daggers on my hips.
The sight of him and the feel of his eyes on me make me warm deep in my stomach but cold in every part of me that remembers I can’t climb in beside him. Shouldn’t.
I do it anyway, removing my sword from my back and sitting right beside him, so close my arm’s pressed against his. My heart aches too much to deny myself.
He stares at me like he can’t quite believe I’m real. Maybe because I’m not. I’m not who I used to be, and I won’t live long enough to become anyone new. I’m not anyone anymore.
“Jasalyn.” My name, said with relief, with gratitude, with worry.
I curl into his side and rest my head on his shoulder. “It was just a bad day,” I whisper.
“Where have you—”
I shake my head. “Don’t. I don’t want to do this again. I’m fine. I’m working to fix what I broke. I just . . .” I wrap my fingers around his arm, reveling in the size and strength there. I’m safe. Right here. Right now. I’m safe. “I wanted to see you.”
“Like you did before.”
I lift my head. “You remember?”
Kendrick pulls me onto his lap, moving me like I’m no more than a child, but I don’t care. I let him wrap his arms around me and rest my head against his chest. Hands stroking my back, he buries his nose in my hair and breathes in deep. “I might not remember it, but I knew why I’d gone to the keep and when I found myself in the Ironmoore infirmary, the scent of you was still there. It’s clung to me since. And now . . .”
His chest shudders with his next inhale. “Tell me you aren’t going to leave this time.”
I can’t lie to him, but I won’t waste this night rehashing the same conversation we had in the infirmary. “I’m here now,” I say, hoping that will be enough.
“We have a plan for the ring.” He touches a finger to my lips and I shiver. “Once we have the Stone of Disenchantment, I’ll be able to kiss you again.”
I close my eyes. I’d like that. Just once before this is all taken away from me, I’d like to know Kendrick’s kiss again.
I lightly brush the pads of my thumbs on the bruises beneath his eyes. “You aren’t sleeping.”
He cocks his head to the side. “How could I possibly sleep when everything that matters is so unsure?”
“Crissa,” I say. They still don’t know what happened to their queen.
He huffs out a breath that was probably supposed to be a laugh, but there’s no amusement in the sound. “Yes. I should be losing sleep over my queen. I should be losing sleep over the fact that we haven’t had one hint of where she might be and over the future of the realm I’ve been tasked with saving.” His jaw works for a moment before his arms tighten around me, but instead of feeling like a prison, they’re like a blanket, offering warmth and comfort without trapping me. “But I’m losing sleep over you, Jas. I’ve been out of my mind trying to find you.”
His eyes are so blue. So pure. They are the eyes that saved me, his is the voice that saved me, even when his hands couldn’t.
“You didn’t have to pretend to be human.”
He stiffens because, of course, he still doesn’t remember that I know. “What do you mean?”
“You didn’t have to be a human for me to trust you.” I skim my fingertip across the delicately pointed shell of his ear and he shivers. “I would’ve needed your friendship in those dungeons whether you’d been fae or human or goblin. I’m not angry that you’re fae. I’m angry that you lied.”