Total pages in book: 46
Estimated words: 43402 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 217(@200wpm)___ 174(@250wpm)___ 145(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 43402 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 217(@200wpm)___ 174(@250wpm)___ 145(@300wpm)
She shakes her head, pushing her chair back. “I don’t want to talk about this. It’s not my world and I don’t want to go to the party. Now, let’s talk about something else.” Olivia’s words annoy and hurt me—right now, annoyance is winning, however. I guess that’s why I insist on continuing to argue with her.
“Livy, it’s just a party. Nothing will happen. I’ll be right there by your side. You know I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.”
“Maybe not,” she says quietly, “but it’s not my life. It’s definitely not the life I want to build when I find a man to love. I didn’t think it was your life either, Blade.” Her voice hardens the longer she speaks about the club. Bear’s words come back to haunt me, but I steadfastly ignore them.
That word—love—hits me like a load of bricks. “Livy, just think about it.”
“I don’t know why you’re asking me any of this. Why are you pushing for the two of us to go to this party? You’re not a biker. You’re a lawyer. It’s not like you’re part of the club.”
I shove back from the table. “Maybe I want to be one day. I like and respect Bear. He’s a good man, you know that. I don’t see how you can like Bear the way you do—be close to his old lady and still manage to make assumptions about his club. Bear has never given you cause to dislike him. You don’t see what we—they—build, what they protect. That club’s done more for this town than any of the local government.”
“You’re wrong, I do know,” she whispers. “But that lifestyle is not the kind of life I want for my future—for the future of my children. I’m already losing one man I love,” she says, and I know she’s talking about her father. Her words cut like a knife. I look at her—really look—and she’s standing there with her hands wrapped around herself like she’s cold, tears barely held back. “I’m not going to set myself up to fall deeper into whatever this is with you only to lose you, too.”
“Livy,” I start, but she cuts me off, voice trembling.
“Please. Just go.”
For a long moment, all I hear is the low hum of the oxygen concentrator in the other room and the sound of my own pulse roaring in my ears. I could fight her—try to say something to change her mind. I don’t, mostly because I think at this point it will push her further away.
Instead, I nod once, jaw tight, voice dead. “Yeah. Okay.”
I grab my jacket from the chair, every step heavier than the last. For the first time ever, she doesn’t follow—doesn’t say another word.
Outside, the air’s cool and damp. I lock the door and step out into the night fully. I stand for a moment, staring at her kitchen window. The house is small, quiet, and full of everything I never thought I’d want—warmth, safety, and a feeling of home. Maybe Bear was right.
Maybe I can’t have both—the club and Olivia. I love my brothers. I love the Saints. They’re my blood, my loyalty, my purpose. But I love her, too. Hell, it’s only been two weeks, but I know it in my bones. She’s it for me. On the other hand, I fucking know that if I pick Olivia over them, I’ll start to resent her. I’ll look at her one day and see everything I gave up. If I pick the club, I’ll lose her for good. Will I regret that choice just as much?
There’s no version of this that feels right. I can’t seem to breathe freely—air refuses to leave my lungs. I get into my car, slam the door, and grip the wheel until my knuckles ache. My reflection in the rearview mirror stares back at me. A man without hope, hard eyes, clenched jaw … A man torn in half.
“Fuck!” The shout rips out of me, raw and loud, followed by the slap of my palm against the steering wheel. I back the car out way too quickly. My tires crunch into the gravel, headlights cutting through the dark as I pull onto the main road.
I feel hollow. Lost. Completely lost. I have to fix this somehow. I have to get her to understand.
Tomorrow, I’ll talk to her. I’ll figure out why she’s so damned against the club, why she doesn’t want me part of the club. Tonight, I’ve got to let her breathe. I need time to get under control, because I know if I go back in there right now, I’m going to say something I can’t take back and lose her forever—and doing that will destroy me.
Fucking hell, this is a mess.
12 BEAR
The house is quiet except for the ceiling fan overhead, which is making a gentle roar. It blends with Ayita’s soft breathing beside me. She’s asleep—peaceful, beautiful, the kind of woman a man should be grateful for. I feel guilty about that. Most nights my guilt keeps me awake. That’s not the reason tonight. No, that honor has to do with my baby brother.