Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 89023 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 445(@200wpm)___ 356(@250wpm)___ 297(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 89023 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 445(@200wpm)___ 356(@250wpm)___ 297(@300wpm)
“Oh, my God.” I close my eyes and shake my head. “No. Please, don’t tell me this. I don’t want to hear any more.”
But Jane is not interested in what I want—has anyone ever been interested in what I want? She just keeps talking. “I chose to go with them and it was the right choice. Not just for me and the kids, but for you. Because I would’ve just held you back.”
I open my eyes and look at her again. “Held me back?” And now I’m angry. “Your death, the kids, the burning church—these are the reasons I said yes to him, Jane! If this is true, and I don’t think it is, then you’re… you’re a fucking bitch! You ruined my life! I said yes because you were gone! I had nothing left to lose. So hey, why not, right? Why not let this demon kiss me and feed me his blood? Why not let him change me into this despicable creature?”
“You let him do it because you knew it was your path, Ryet.”
“And stop calling me Ryet! That’s not my name! You know it’s not my name!”
“You’re not listening.”
“No, I’m not.”
Her smile is kind and warm, but she sighs. “It was all in the plan.”
I hear the truth. I know it’s all true. Because why wouldn’t the one person I thought was pure and good betray me in the end? Of course she did. They all do. But I can’t deal.
So I turn my back on her. “Go away. Go away and never come back.”
And when I turn around, finally, someone has done what I asked.
But as the white fades back to purple, I hear something.
A song sung by children. My children.
Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.
But as I slip back into my own hellish reality, she gets the last word. “Find a way to shine, Ryet. That’s all I have left to say and that’s all you have left to do. Just find a way to shine.”
25 - Syrsee
A hedged bet
Lucia just stares at me, her mouth open in shock.
She doesn’t have a plan. “You have no fucking clue, do you?”
“That’s not true,” she says, putting up a hand. “I know things, Syrsee.”
“Then start talking! Because in case you can’t tell, we’re done here! This is it! The endgame! What do I do?”
She looks around the mist, her eyes darting here and there like she’s in a frantic panic. “The mirrors!”
“What about them?” I hiss.
“Look!” She points to one nearby and I walk over.
“There’s nothing in there, Lucia.” I’m growling at her now, so angry. “I can see the fucking mirrors! What am I supposed to do with them?”
But her blank stare back is all the answer I need. She doesn’t know.
“That’s great.” I throw up my hands. “That’s just great. This was your big plan? Bring me here to the mist and… what? Hope that we’d figure it out?”
Her shoulder comes up in a shrug. “Maybe?”
“You are such a bitch.”
Lucia lets out a breath. “Just calm down.”
“Calm down? I’m carrying some kind of new evil creature inside me with the power of eternity, or whatever, and its father, the actual essence of evil, wants it back, Lucia. Wants me to give over all my power to it, in return for an eternal dreamwalk with Ryet! I’m not calm, OK? I’m fucking scared!”
“Just shut up and let me think!” Then she turns her back and starts walking.
“Where are you going?”
“Shut up!” Then she turns and walks towards me again, only to do an about-face and walk back the other way. Pacing. She’s pacing. Thinking.
I take a deep breath, trying to take her advice. I need to calm down. I need to get a hold of myself and stop this fear. No one makes good decisions in a state of fear. So… I breathe and start walking towards her as she is walking towards me.
We pace like this, on opposite ends of the mist, trying our best to be rational people, even though in this state, neither of us even qualifies as people.
I don’t even know where my body is. In the lodge somewhere, I guess. But who knows? It could be anywhere. I could be stuck like this forever.
Oh, my God, this fear, it’s consuming me.
I stop and look down at my feet, trying to breathe myself into a state of calm. Trying to play back all the hints I’ve been given over the years. Through all the conversations with Paul, and Ryet, and my grandma, and Lucia, and Tristin, and Zusi, and all my years at the Guild.
I’ve been given pieces. Many, many pieces of this puzzle.
All I need to do is fit them all together.
Suddenly, there’s a spark in my mind. And I look up to find Lucia looking at me.
“I know what to do!” We say this at the same time.