Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 121008 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 605(@200wpm)___ 484(@250wpm)___ 403(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121008 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 605(@200wpm)___ 484(@250wpm)___ 403(@300wpm)
The thought sends a rush of rage through me. It’s still there. The fight. It’s still coursing through me, though now it’s tempered with self-loathing. For the briefest moments I felt peace. When Meggie took all my rage into her own sweet soul.
Yeah, I feel like shit about that, too.
“Clean up.” I don’t mean for the words to come out as harshly as they do, but I can’t take them back. I need space, but I don’t have time. The situation with Cian is serious. “We leave in an hour.”
“Sire,” Cara blurts, a startled expression on her face. “Surely you cannot expect your bondmate to travel this evening.”
I stare down at the gnome. I was raised to be a king, and though I am no longer that man, there are times I expect to be obeyed without question. It is bred into my character. A king never explains his actions, even when they are wrong. I’m sure Cian would have knelt and explained himself to the small woman, but then Cian would never be in this mess in the first place. Cian would never screw up so badly with a woman that she couldn’t stand to look at him.
“If you have a problem with it, I’ll take her now,” I say softly.
The gnome holds her ground, but I can see it costs her. “No, Sire. I will make sure she is ready for the long and arduous journey.”
I stride to the door. I need a bath, but I won’t disturb Meg’s. If things went as planned, I would have cleaned her up myself. I would have shown her how tender I can be. I would have eased into the hot tub with her, kissed her, and washed her hair. I would have bonded with her.
“If she runs, I’ll hold you and yours personally responsible,” I growl. I’m somewhat satisfied by her nervous nod.
I know I’m being what my cousin would call an asshole, but I can’t help it.
The waning sunlight is still hot on my skin. That will change. By nightfall the forest will be cold. If I take her out there, she’ll have no choice. She’ll have to cling to me for warmth and protection.
Perhaps out in the forest she’ll begin to learn to trust me.
I stride through the market, ignoring those who call out greetings. I don’t want to hear about my soon-to-be-legendary victory. The damn bards will be singing about it soon enough. They have no idea how close that victory came to being a bloodbath. Only Meg’s sweet hand stayed me, and she paid for her interference. I leave orders with the stable boy to get my horse ready then make my way to the river that runs near the marketplace. I toss my shirt, boots, and trousers on the grass and dive in where I know the water is deep and cold.
The chill hits my system like a bloody winter blast. I grit my teeth against the bite of pain along my skin. I dive deep, refusing to come up for air or warmth. My lungs can handle it. I wrap my hands around the strong reeds, anchoring myself to the bottom. It’s quiet here. There’s no incessant chatter. There’s no one to constantly remind me of duties that are no longer mine. They don’t understand. I have been the deposed King of the Seelie for almost half my life now. Can’t they leave me be?
I watch a small school of fish swim by. The river is remarkably clear and lovely. It reminds me of the river that runs by the white palace in Tír na nÒg. Mother would take me, Cian, and our sister Bronwyn down, and she would sit with her ladies while we swam. Cian would splash our sister and tease her mercilessly, but I wasn’t allowed to join their fun. I was expected to act the king always.
“Eyes are always on you, son,” my father would say. “They expect Cian to act the fool, but you must be the warrior king every minute of your life.”
What would my father have thought of my actions on this day? Would he understand that life had dealt me a horrible set of cards and I played them the only way that made sense? Or would he turn away from me in shame?
I rather think it might be the latter.
All of my life I was trained to ruthlessly hide the beast that lives inside me. My mother always told me that symbiotic twins were considered powerful, but everyone knew they were difficult to raise. The warrior half requires balance to stop his violent nature from running wild. The intellectual half needs grounding or he spends his life in daydreams. It’s only through bonding with a proper mate that the two halves can truly live balanced lives.