Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 121008 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 605(@200wpm)___ 484(@250wpm)___ 403(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121008 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 605(@200wpm)___ 484(@250wpm)___ 403(@300wpm)
“No, he doesn’t.” There’s no question in my mind about that. If Beck is in love, then it follows that I would be in love, too. Liadan has never understood the link between symbiotic twins. She treats us like completely separate beings when we aren’t. If Beck’s heart is engaged, then I wouldn’t be able to help myself. I would fall in love, too. I shake my head. Why had the name Meggie suddenly shot through my brain? I don’t know a Meggie. There isn’t anyone named that in the village. Or is there?
Liadan tosses the towel my way. “You’re too stupid to remember. Beck and I are getting married one of these days.”
I stride out of the pond, wrap the towel around my waist, and start back up toward the cottage. I still remember where I live, at least. I don’t pick up the clothes I brought with me. They don’t matter. No one cares what I’m wearing. “No, you’re not. He won’t marry you. You aren’t a bondmate.”
Liadan keeps pace. “He loves me, and there are no more bondmates to be had. He needs to marry. He needs to have children. You know it’s true. He is too important to languish out here on this piss-poor excuse for a plane. He’s let you hold him back far too long.”
My heart aches at the thought of children. I thought we would have a few by now. I love children, and they always love me. I started a small school when we settled in this village. It hadn’t taken long before an entire community of immigrant Fae built up here. They brought their children with them or adopted the orphans they found along the way. Those children required an education. I remember looking at their little faces. I loved teaching them.
Am I supposed to be at school? I should be dressed if I’m going to school.
“Where am I?”
Liadan exhales heavily. “You really are far gone, aren’t you? You won’t remember a thing I say five minutes from now, you poor excuse for a royal. You should lay down, Cian. You should fade. The world would be better if you faded.”
My vision clouds over. I’ve heard this before. I hear that voice when I think about getting up from time to time. I’ll be lying in bed and wonder about something. It can be anything. A recipe. A new way to grow our crops. Cleaning the kitchen so Beck doesn’t think I’m a slob. I’ll think these thoughts and curiosity urges me to get out of bed, but then that voice comes back.
Life will be better for Beck if I fade.
Sometimes I wake up and she’s waiting at my bedside, whispering the words over and over until I believe them. There’s some sort of smoke that goes with these episodes. I always feels so much farther away when I breathe that smoke.
“Get back in your bed, Cian,” Liadan says in a commanding voice. “It’s time to fade. You’ll be happier, and so will Beckett.” The voice becomes soothing. I feel her hands on my shoulders. They’re cold. “It will be nice, won’t it? You can go someplace warm. You can be with your mother and your sister again. You miss them, don’t you?”
“Oh, yes.” A picture of my sister forms in my mind. She was my playmate. Beck was too serious for that. He was always with our father in some important meeting, even when we were young children. Bronwyn was the one to run through the palace halls, screaming with laughter. She’d been the one to explore the river with me and make fun of me when I started to notice girls.
Bronwyn died in my arms.
There’s something wet on my face. Tears. I’m sick of tears. Yes, it would be best to fade. I can’t help Beck. I’m weak. Beck will have a better chance if I’m gone.
Woodenly, I turn toward the cottage. I hear Lia’s satisfied sigh as I leave her, but it doesn’t truly register. I begin to walk past the barn with one thought in my head—I will lie down, and this time I won’t get up for anything. I will be stalwart. I will fade, and the world will be a better place. I walk around to the front of the cottage. I will bolt all the doors, and no one will be able to stop me.
“Beck?”
It’s another feminine voice that pulls me away from my mission, but this one I don’t recognize. I look down and see a petite, curvy woman with a mass of wavy brown hair. No. It isn’t simply brown. There’s red and blonde in it, too. It’s a glorious auburn. The lighter strands catch the late-afternoon light and sparkle. Her hair is beautiful and a bit wild. A proper Fae lady would never wear her hair so wild. Her clothes are traveling clothes, and they aren’t perfectly proper either. She’s left the top of the neck unbuttoned. I’m fascinated by her creamy skin and the soft rise of her breasts.