Total pages in book: 181
Estimated words: 181613 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 908(@200wpm)___ 726(@250wpm)___ 605(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 181613 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 908(@200wpm)___ 726(@250wpm)___ 605(@300wpm)
Tempted by the prospect of that twinge of jealousy and yearning cutting away at my heart, I take her hand.
“Screw them. Let’s take our life into our own hands. No more pining. No more suffering. We make a pact, here and now, just you and I. We’re going to do our best to find a new love and forget about the old.”
But what if I don’t want to forget?
“They don’t want us. They’ve flown off. It’s time we did the same.”
Maybe she’s right. Perhaps we should stop living in the past.
Her smile is enough to convince me as I let her pull me up from the ground.
“Let’s make the jump. Together,” she says. “And when we fall into that water, we give up on them.”
I swallow away the lump in my throat and nod.
I take off my shirt, and she removes her beach dress so we’re both in our swimwear. She reaches out for my hand, and I take it.
Am I really doing this? Am I ready to let go?
She squeezes my hand. “Just run and jump. Don’t look back. There’s only one way down.”
We both begin to run.
Don’t look back. Don’t stop. Just give up.
“Here we go!” she squeals.
The moment our feet reach the ledge, a blue butterfly flutters across my field of vision, the same kind that landed on Aspen’s marshmallow at the bonfire, and I stop.
Abruptly.
Instantly.
Definitively.
Even though Mavis’s foot is already off the ground.
I can’t.
I won’t.
I refuse to give up on Aspen Caruso.
And as Mavis lets go of my hand, ready to make the jump, I stay frozen in time … while she slips and screams.
THUD!
I’m frozen to the ground while the dead whisper in my ear.
Join her.
You deserve it.
You killed her.
You killed an innocent girl.
Her sister.
It’s all your fault.
You let her jump without you.
You’re a murderer.
The first tent behind me zips open, and Cecelia races toward me, beckoned by the deafening sound of death.
A death that’s on my hands.
I can’t.
I can’t let go of Aspen.
And now I’ll lose her forever.
Aspen
Present
The oxygen hitches in my throat.
He … was in love with me?
That’s why Mavis died?
“I couldn’t do it. When I saw that butterfly, all I could think about was you. You. You.” He clutches his hair. “Every week, every day, every minute, every fucking second of my life, all I could think about was you. It’s always you.”
The pain in his voice wounds me.
It tears down all the defenses I’d built and turns them into dust.
“But you couldn’t even look at me. And then Mavis died. I felt so guilty. I knew you’d hate me. Everyone called me murderer, and they were right. I’m the reason she’s dead.” His face contorts. “I had nothing left. Nothing except your hatred, so I made it mine.” He pauses briefly to suck in a breath. “But then Grey stole you away. Do you know how jealous it made me to see you with him? You have no idea how much I yearned to have what he had. The way you kissed him right in front of me drove me insane. And he kept interfering, kept making things worse, and then I found out he was actually there that night, taping us. Fuck!” He pinches his fingers together. “I was so fucking close to making you hate me to death. And then it all fell apart.”
This is the reason.
This is why he wanted to stop Grey from showing me that video.
Because if I knew the truth about Mavis’s death, I’d stop hating him and let that part of my heart I thought died long ago live again.
Destroying me from the inside out.
Levi
The truth hurts far worse than a thousand knives ever could.
God. The way she’s looking at me is eating me alive.
Why won’t it ever stop?
“Why didn’t you tell me?” She shakes her head. “I tried to talk to you.”
My heart hurts. “My own parents said I could never speak to you again.”
“Why? Why would they do that?”
“Don’t you understand? Your parents would’ve killed me if I got anywhere near you. They couldn’t lose me.” Her eyes connect with mine. “You couldn’t lose me too.”
Her brows draw together as tears begin to form in her eyes, and I wish I could go over there and brush them away, but I know she’d never let me.
Not after the things I’ve done.
I lower my gaze to the ground. “Somewhere deep down … I believed I deserved it. Her death was my fault. We were friends, Aspen. And I killed your heart.”
She shakes her head.
“I killed you along with her.”
“No. I’m still here.”
“Because I made you hate me!” I roar.
The meaning of my words takes a few seconds to settle in with her, but when it finally lands, her face grows grim. All the freckles in the world couldn’t light up her face after the damage I’ve done.