Total pages in book: 141
Estimated words: 128313 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 642(@200wpm)___ 513(@250wpm)___ 428(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 128313 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 642(@200wpm)___ 513(@250wpm)___ 428(@300wpm)
“I’ll try,” I said, but the lie sat heavily in my stomach. The truth was, I couldn’t bear seeing anyone from the horse world these days. Horse sports were our family’s entire lives, our livelihoods, but I was honest enough with myself to say that the industry was as toxic as it was beautiful, and the gossip mill was unrivaled. I knew I was top of conversation in most circles. Even the many scandals that arose in our sport couldn’t compete with my quick exit from the circuit and my past year and a half of reclusiveness.
Just stepping foot out at a show, Forrest’s or not, would garner more attention than I could be arsed with. That, and it physically hurt me to be there and not compete. Jumping was all I knew. Not doing it anymore felt like a piece of my soul had been ripped away from me. Seeing people jumping, or even just riding, was like being repeatedly shot in the chest.
The smell of tonight’s dinner drifted down the hallway, shaking me from my depressing thoughts. Our home was stately and boasted the most incredible and historic banquet hall. But we cousins preferred our small, informal family/dining room for family dinners. One where we didn’t have to shout down the table to talk to one another. We might be rich and privileged, but we weren’t pompous arseholes having five-course, silver-service meals every night.
I was sad to say that nerves swam in my stomach as we approached the family room. Forrest side-eyed me at the door. “They’re your blood,” he reminded me, and I exhaled a long, calming breath. He thought I was nervous because I’d kept myself away for months. But it was more than that. Every time I saw Atticus’s smiling face, or worse, Felix’s scarred one, I felt like I was letting them down. Even worse when it came to Genny. I could barely meet her eyes without wanting to drop to my knees and beg her forgiveness.
Forrest walked through to the dining room, and keeping my head down, I followed.
“Well, I bloody never!” I heard Atticus say in his loud-as-fuck voice. “Is this a ghost I’m seeing? A mirage? Felix, am I dehydrated?” I looked up to see Atticus dramatically grab hold of Felix’s arm. “Did I take a kick to the head at training today? Did Barnaby throw me and I’m in some kind of trauma-induced dream?”
“All right, Atti,” I said and shook my head. “For fuck’s sake. You can shut up now.”
His brown eyes danced as he flew across the room, wrapping his arms around me and lifting me off the floor. “It’s good to see you, Jas!” he said.
“Put me down, you dick, before I make you,” I said.
Atticus lowered me down, but his famous, too-charming grin remained. “Ah, there he is! It’s not a good day unless you’re threatening me!”
Despite my best efforts, I huffed a laugh at my ridiculous youngest cousin. Forrest and I leaned more serious. Atticus? He was a shit-stirrer, a joker, and a tornado of energy, all rolled into one.
Atticus leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my head. Being the youngest, he was also—annoyingly—the tallest of us all. He was six-five, with dark floppy hair and eyes so brown they looked almost black. To say he was a ladies’ man was an understatement. He was as much a horny stallion as the treasured horse he rode.
Atticus moved before me, really studying me. “Shit, Jas. You look awful.” He smiled wider. “You’ve lost your looks.” He clenched his fists. “Yes! That means even more pussy for me.”
Forrest sputtered. “If you’re not careful, little brother, your dick will fall off from overuse,” he said, slapping his younger brother on the back of his head on the way past. “And keep your sex life to yourself. You humping away breathlessly over a line of random women is an image I never want to think of.”
Atticus flexed his arm, showing his muscles through his tightly fitted shirt. “Breathlessly?” Atticus questioned, scowling. “I’m the fittest here, in both looks and endurance.” He smiled widely. “And I’ll have you know I fuck like a god.”
Forrest ran a hand down his face. He looked to Felix, who was watching in quiet amusement from his place leaning against the stone fireplace. “Get your boy under control before I muzzle him, Felix.”
Felix shook his head and walked toward me. Atticus and Felix were as close as Forrest and I were. Felix held out his hand to me and pulled me close when I offered mine back. With a tight hug, he said, “I’m glad to see you, Jas. Missed you.”
I pulled back and studied Felix. His hair was longer these days, falling to his chin in waves and shielding his face. He was as big and imposing as ever. His scar ran down the entire left side of his cheek. He was lucky he hadn’t lost his eye in the accident. Instead, our already introverted middle cousin grew quieter, and we hadn’t been able to bring him back out of his shell.