Total pages in book: 141
Estimated words: 128313 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 642(@200wpm)___ 513(@250wpm)___ 428(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 128313 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 642(@200wpm)___ 513(@250wpm)___ 428(@300wpm)
What the fuck, Hallie? I thought to myself.
I felt someone beside me. I exhaled, knowing who it would be. But when I opened my eyes, it was to find Atticus. He leaned over the rail too, looking just as despondent. “Hallie,” he said, smiling. But his grin didn’t hold any of its usual spark. It looked kind of sad. “Fancy meeting you here.”
I huffed a laugh. “I needed air.”
Atticus nodded and looked out over the city. Silence stretched between us until I said, “I had a run-in with Alexis Hobbs and Camille Dubois tonight at the club. Jake McGowen was there too but didn’t really get involved.”
Atticus turned to me. “What did they say?” Like Jasper, fury immediately engulfed his face. It was clearly a Knighton trait.
“That I was fucking Jasper to get to the top on a Knighton horse.” I relayed everything else they said too.
“They’re a plague on this tour,” Atticus said. “And we’re all convinced that Alexis is into dodgy business, just none of us can prove it yet.” Atticus narrowed his eyes at me when I didn’t say anything back. “You didn’t let them get to you, did you?”
“I didn’t intend to,” I said, but shrugged. “Apparently the thought of being accused of sleeping my way to the top was nothing to being told it in reality.” I sighed. “I’m thinking I might have a little bit of impostor syndrome.” I smirked. “Who knew?”
Atticus looked utterly confused. “Hallie, I say this because I mean it, you’re one of the best riders I’ve ever worked with. And I’ve been doing this my entire life. We have seen the best of the best walk through Golden Oaks’ gates, and you’re one of the top. Easily.”
The tightness in my chest began to slacken, only to be replaced by intense guilt. “Thank you,” I said, and meant it. I dropped my head to my folded arms on the rail and said, “Jasper saw me when we came home, and I pushed him away.”
Atticus faced me. “I’m going to say something that Jasper would most certainly kill me for. And as a younger cousin with residual trauma from the way Jasper and Forrest used to bully me as a child, that’s saying something.” Atticus smiled, and I could see the love for his cousin in his expression. “But Jasper . . .” Atticus thought of what to say. “He is the rock of our family, you know?” I waited for him to continue. “He’s the one who has always shouldered the heaviness of our family business, our name, and reputation. He was the best rider, the best son, and the best big brother. Because as much as he’s my cousin, I see him as my brother. We all do.” My heart began to melt.
“We’ve had a lot of loss in our family.” He shrugged. “Felix says it’s because the universe must balance out. We have a lot in material wealth and success, so those privileges must come with bad things too.” He sighed. “I don’t know. But for whatever reason, we’ve lost too many loved ones, and the man who held us all together? Jasper. He helped raised us, cared for us, taught us to ride. If we had a problem, we had one hundred percent faith that he would fix it.”
I could see that. He’d been that way for me too. “But as I’ve grown older and lived my own life, I’ve realized what that had to have cost him, you know? Who is there for Jasper when he needs help? Who is there for him when he crumbles?” Atticus tilted his head in my direction. “I’ve never seen him relax like he does when he’s with you.” My throat clogged and tears built in my eyes. “With the attacks . . . He didn’t trust anyone, he fell into a dark place that none of us could pull him from. But you did,” he said, and a tear tracked down my cheek. “I know he’s worried he’s put you in harm’s way, but Hallie, you’ve changed his life.” When more tears fell, Atticus said, “Shit, I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
“No,” I said. “You didn’t . . . I . . .” I shook my head and wiped my cheeks. “He’s changed my life too.”
Atticus gave me a small smile. “I know he comes off all cold and brooding, but under that hard shell is a man with a big heart who would die to protect those he loves.” Atticus stared up at the sky, but said, “But he’s the biggest star in this industry, and with it comes pressures that we couldn’t even imagine. And people who would do anything to bring him down.”
Guilt and shame shrouded me. I must have hurt him so badly. He’d warned me of what Camille and Alexis might do, and I played right into their hands—at the expense of his heart.