Series: Cobalt Empire Series by Krista Ritchie
Total pages in book: 234
Estimated words: 226965 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1135(@200wpm)___ 908(@250wpm)___ 757(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 226965 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1135(@200wpm)___ 908(@250wpm)___ 757(@300wpm)
“Same and same.”
“Cool.” I’m smiling off his sexy widening smile. “So you’re going to have a baby Thistle one day?”
He laughs, and I feel the rumble of his chest against me. “You want to name our kid Thistle?”
My heart double-beats. Our kid? Obviously, we’re messing with each other. This is playful banter, where we’re constructing a future that can’t even happen. “You have a better earthy name?”
“Why are we going earthy?”
“To appease your tree-loving soul, nature boy.” I rotate around, wanting to face him, but the most natural maneuver is to straddle Ben on the couch cushions. He rests his hands on my thighs. This time, I did remember to bring cotton pajama shorts, but his fingers slip up the hem.
His touch is magma. I heat all over. Our breaths sound shallow, and his muscles flex as I shift a little on his waist. The gray sweats and blue tee are typical Ben attire.
I hold on to his lion cub. “And?” I ask.
“And…” He clears out husky arousal from his throat. “I’d rather we pick a name that appeases your punk-rock-loving soul.”
“Baby Spike,” I joke.
“Whatever you want, Fisher.”
Now my heart flutters. It’s how he’s staring at me, like he would literally give me anything in the world if he could. “No, see there is a compromise here, Ben.” I hold out a finger. “Stone. Earthy and rock-forward.”
“We better get cracking if we want to make our baby Stone.” He brushes his knuckle against my clit, and I clench my thighs around him.
“Fuck,” I curse. “Ben.”
He grins. “Keep glaring at me like that, it’s only going to make me want to push inside you faster.”
I place the lion cub behind me and plant my hands on his chest. He hardens against me, and he brings his lips to mine. He kisses me once, twice, pulling me closer, but I break apart to pant out, “You want a blow job?”
That sounded sexier in my head, but whatever, I offered.
He sucks in a contemplative breath. “Do you enjoy giving them or is this just something you feel like you have to do?”
I shrug. “I want you to feel good too.”
“Trust me, I already do.” He’s slouched on the armrest of the couch, his reassuring hands gripping my hips. He even grinds me down on him, so his erection rubs against my pussy. Oh my…God. “And if I don’t come inside you here, then how are we going to make our baby?”
I can’t decide if this conversation is torture of the best kind or the worst. “Our fictional baby,” I say like a dumbass. You aren’t dumb, Harriet. I blow out such a heavy breath, my bangs billow. I’m about to launch myself off him, but Ben’s grip tightens on me.
He’s sitting up. “Hey.”
I scowl. “I don’t actually want to be pregnant.”
“I know—”
“Because I have so many goals, soooo many, that would be epically derailed if I were to get knocked up tomorrow.”
“I know—”
“And I don’t even know if I’m mom material. I have no relationship with my own mom, and maybe I’d be a really shitty one.”
“You’d be a great mom,” he says without any hesitation. “Do you want kids someday, when you’re older and a surgeon and settled in your career?”
I lift my shoulders. “Maybe. I mean…it’s not off the table. I have time to think about it more.” I can’t search his eyes fast enough. “Do you want kids someday in the future?”
“I don’t know,” he murmurs, slipping his hands through my hair while his eyes roam across mine, like he’s scavenging for the answers. Like he believes they’re within me. “I’d want them with the right person, and that person would be you.”
“Stop,” I deadpan, pushing off him.
He grasps me stronger, keeping me still and closer. “I’m not teasing.” His eyes say he’s being serious. “I mean it, Harriet.” I feel his warm hand against my cheek.
“If you were staying,” I add for him. “That’s what you really mean. If you were staying, there would be a future between us.”
“Yeah,” he breathes, looking even more torn up than I feel.
I glide my fingers down his chest, staring at our laps as confusion bites at me. “Why are you leaving, Ben?” I nearly whisper, as if these are harmful questions that could pierce his body, his heart. I’ve just never wanted to hurt him. I’m not Charlie, who prefers to bludgeon Ben with his words. “Why go move to the wild? To a place you apparently can’t share with me because you’re afraid your family will find out…and then they’ll stop you?”
“It’s…” He grimaces at himself. “It’s so fucking hard to explain.”
“You could try.” I shrug. “I’m all ears, and I’m not going anywhere.”
He blinks a lot, like he’s disentangling jumbled, gnarled thoughts.
“Is it a calling?” I try to help. “Like, you feel compelled to go commune with nature alone?”