Total pages in book: 109
Estimated words: 102903 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 515(@200wpm)___ 412(@250wpm)___ 343(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 102903 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 515(@200wpm)___ 412(@250wpm)___ 343(@300wpm)
“Uh-huh. You bet your big dicky dick, I’m here,” I answer, scanning each word I’ve jotted down with quick eyes.
For the dicks:
Big
Hard
Long
Wiener
Cock
Juicy
Meat Sword
Magic Stick?
Throbbing
Massive
Sausage
12-incher (Can a penis really be ruler size? Probably need to google.)
Schlong
Meat Stick?
Banana Hammock?
“You feel so big. And hard . . .” I reference my notes again. “And long, like a . . . like a flagpole I want to climb up and start singing ‘God Bless America’ while I’m waving the Stars and Stripes in the air and riding your . . . big, hard, long, thick cock,” I tell him while trying to use my sexiest voice. “I want to save Lady Liberty and ride Randy.”
“You want to sing what?” Randy asks, and it feels like maybe my patriotic ramble threw him a little off his game.
“I don’t want to sing anything, Randy,” I quickly redirect myself. “I just want to feel your big ol’ cock and balls inside me.”
“You can take all of me inside you, Ruby? My cock and my balls?”
I scrunch up my nose, trying to figure out if that’s even physically possible. What do I know? I’ve never had a penis inside me, much less a penis plus balls.
Surely anything’s possible in fictional phone sex land . . . I shrug and pick up my pen to tap it against my notepad. You never know when a word will come out of a pervy caller’s mouth that I can use for future calls.
“Oh yeah, Randy. I can fit all of you in me. Your cock and your cock’s ball besties. It’s going to be a whole big party in my . . .” I glance at my notes again, sliding my pen down each word in search of a few that seem to fit the vibe.
For the chicks:
Pussy
Cunt
Wet
Aching
Needy
Pink Taco? (too much?)
Moist
Twat
Hoo-hah?
Beaver?
“. . . wet, needy, aching pussy,” I say, just mixing a dirty-word salad on the fly. “Should I put them in me? Your cock and your balls? You want my big . . . huge . . . cunt to play magician and make them disappear?”
Big, huge cunt? I cringe at myself. Way to paint a picture.
“Not yet, Ruby.” Randy’s breath is getting breathier, and I’m silently thankful he doesn’t mind the idea of cavernous beavers.
I might’ve accidentally looked at my list for dicks instead of chicks. Whoops. Though I’d say it’s pretty clear I don’t have a single clue what kind of dirty shit men like to hear. For all I know, Randy would blow his load over me saying I’m going to shove a vacuum cleaner up his ass.
Don’t worry, I’m not going there. I refuse to go there, actually.
“What do you want me to do, Randy?” I ask, hoping to move this conversation straight to the part where he climaxes so I can hang up.
“Put my dick between your feet and rub your toes up and down it.”
“You got it, dude.” I shrug and lean back in my chair. “Up and down and up and down they go, Randy. My toes are tiptoeing all over your big ol’ cock-a-doodle-do.”
“Yesss,” he groans, and I quietly gag. “Rub your feet all over me.”
“Oh, I’m rubbin’. Rubbin’, rubbin’, rubbin’. I’m rubbing so hard I hope you don’t get foot burn.”
But seriously, can feet create that much friction on a penis?
“Are you playing with yourself, Ruby?” he asks, his excitement enough to make my stomach lurch. I swear, much more of this deep dive into the sex pool, and I’m going to start feeling like being a mid-twenties virgin isn’t such a bad thing.
Up until now, it’s been solely an issue of time and motivation and partnership—but there’s a whole other disturbing layer building within the walls of my sex cubicle, and from what I hear, PTSD can be difficult to reverse.
My cubby mate, Miss Diamond herself, peeks her head over my wall and waves, and I pray to the gods of sex phone lines that this call with Randy will end soon so I can talk to someone who isn’t wanting me to play footsie with a dick.
“Ruby?” Randy asks between disturbing pants. “Tell me you’re touching yourself, baby. Tell me you’re rubbing your big cunt while you think about my dick and balls inside you.”
“Yep. You betcha.” I roll my eyes and make Diamond, a.k.a. Monica, giggle. She covers her mouth to keep herself quiet. “I’m touching my cookie right now. And it’s so warm and . . . ooey-gooey . . . just for you.”
“Oh baby, I love that so much,” Randy says, his voice far past simply excitable. He’s out of breath, and I’m sure if I listened closely enough, I’d actually be able to hear him jerking it. Don’t think about it. Don’t you dare think about it!
I grab a sticky note from my desk and scribble a message to Monica—Are you taking a break?—as Randy continues to talk sex stuff into my ear.