Total pages in book: 45
Estimated words: 44666 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 223(@200wpm)___ 179(@250wpm)___ 149(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 44666 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 223(@200wpm)___ 179(@250wpm)___ 149(@300wpm)
My screaming.
At some point, Vance sedated me, and that’s the last thing I remember about that day.
“So?” Hysteria holds my vocal cords hostage for a beat. “I don’t care if it’s been a month. He could have deployed a raft, made it to an island, or…something.”
Pity.
I despise that mask more than anything. Vance wears it now as he crouches in front of me. “They called off the search.”
A glacier fist squeezes my heart, and I want to scream against the agony. Pain floods my senses, burning my nose, pounding at my temples, coiling around my neck.
It’s too much.
I can’t do this.
The clock above the armoire counts the seconds in a stoic rhythm I can’t help but embrace.
Tick, tick, tick.
“Did you hear me?” Vance slides his hand into my hair, pulling my attention back to him.
“I heard you.”
“I’m so sorry,” he says, his tone a strangled apology.
“No.” I grind my molars, refusing to accept his words. “He’s coming home.”
“He’s gone.” Liam lets out an unsteady breath. “They both are.”
Clinging to denial, I glance at the bedroom door, convinced Sebastian will burst through it and tell me how this is all a huge mistake.
A terrible misunderstanding.
“He’s not coming back, love,” Vance says, reading my thoughts with unnerving accuracy.
The hands on the clock continue their relentless march, but time might as well grind to a halt. Blood rushes through my ears, muting the reality of this nightmare. I can’t accept what they’re telling me.
What if the rescue team didn’t search in the right spot?
What if the flight’s trajectory didn’t go as planned?
What if someone else rescued him, and he’s injured, or…or suffering from amnesia?
Tears prick at my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. If I break down again, Vance will only sedate me. I force myself to my feet and let the blanket fall to the floor. Grief boils inside me as I make my way to the windows where the vastness haunts me. Sebastian could be out there somewhere, a thousand miles away, washed up on some shore that’s hopefully not as cold as here.
He could be bleeding and broken, but alive.
He has to be alive.
The alternative isn’t an option. I have to believe he’s fighting to survive, counting on a heroic and miraculous rescue. He and Tatum are both relying on us to not give up.
Except everyone is giving up.
Liam’s words filter through my head, a mournful chant of inescapable truth. No matter how much I want to, I can’t unhear what he said.
He’s gone.
A hiccuping sob builds, and I shake my head as the tears I’ve been holding back cling to my lashes. “I can’t accept this.”
Vance clears his throat. “You have to.”
A scorching tear streaks down my cheek, followed by a deluge. As my vision blurs, I sink to the floor in voiceless, gut-wrenching sobs. My chest heaves and burns, wracked with grief. God, the pain…
Unbearable.
Footsteps rush across the room, closing the distance to where I’m broken on the floor. Letting out a choked sound, Liam reaches me first and wraps me in his arms, squeezing the breath from me as if he can cast out my grief and take it on himself.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers into my hair, again and again, rocking me to the ticking of that clock. But time is sadistic, because the thought of enduring another second without Sebastian is more than I can bear.
2
The same tumultuous body of water that stole the man I love now mocks my pathetic existence beyond the windows. I’m hollowed out as I stare at the sea. Minutes bleed together, forcing me through the hours like a forgotten ghost haunting the penthouse floor. Maybe I am an apparition. Spirits don’t eat or sleep, and I haven’t done much of either since I found out Sebastian’s plane went down somewhere over the ocean.
Ghosts don’t breathe, either, and somewhere in the back of my mind, I wonder if this pain will vanish if I just…stop breathing.
The morbid notion makes me gasp, and I inhale two quick breaths before letting them out in a slow exhale.
There’s a Sebastian-sized hole in my chest, yet my stupid heart keeps beating for him. My mutinous brain won’t let go either, replaying our last phone call, tethering me to the phantom echo of his voice.
“Remember when you told me you’d never break, not for me or anyone?”
“I remember.”
“Promise you’ll stay strong, no matter what.”
“I’ll be strong when you get home.”
“Novalee,” he warns. “Promise me.”
“I’ll stay strong…as long as you promise to come back to me.”
“I promise, princess. I’ll be home as soon as I can.”
I guess we both lied.
Because he’s not here.
And I’m not strong.
The door creaks open, shattering my destructive musings, and Selma steps inside with a tray.
“Good afternoon, my queen.” Liam’s housekeeper sets my lunch on the table in front of me, her smile exuding warmth. “I hope you have an appetite. The chancellor won’t be happy that you didn’t eat breakfast.”