Total pages in book: 45
Estimated words: 44666 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 223(@200wpm)___ 179(@250wpm)___ 149(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 44666 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 223(@200wpm)___ 179(@250wpm)___ 149(@300wpm)
“I’ve been better.”
He doesn’t ask if I’m okay. It’s obvious that neither of us are. Instead, he wraps his arms around me. “Sorry about the hard-on. Can’t really control it when you’re sitting on me like this.”
“It’s okay.” I bury my face in his shoulder, inhaling his scent and finding a calming wave of relief. With him, there are no expectations or complicated histories. No pressure for something I can’t give.
Ford is just here, warm and in the flesh, offering refuge when such a gift is scarce in this tower. He cares about me…but he isn’t in love with me.
Not like Liam is.
And I find freedom in that.
I nestle as close as possible, seeking comfort in Ford’s presence. My head is fuzzy as my hands wander over his abs, tracing the ridges of muscle and smooth skin. When I graze the open fly of his jeans, his body goes taut.
“What are you doing?”
I’m not sure what I’m doing. I only know I crave closeness and connection—a way to drive away the hollowness inside me. Grief and impaired judgment collide, thrusting me into a dizzying headspace of desperation and impulsive decisions. Shifting, I let my hand drift lower, and Ford sucks in a ragged breath.
“Novalee,” he warns, his fingers digging into my hips. “We can’t do this.”
“Why not?” I trail my thumb over the head of his cock, drawing a strangled moan from him.
He grabs my wrist. “Damn, baby girl. You have to stop.”
“Don’t you want me?”
“Of course I want you, but we’ll be in a shitload of trouble if we’re caught.”
“You don’t want to bid in the auction anyway, so why does it matter?”
“Forget the auction. I don’t want to get my ass whooped for touching you. Besides…” He lets a beat pass, his glassy hazel eyes boring into me. “It won’t take away the pain. Deep down, you know that.”
His words drown me in a tsunami of renewed grief, and I climb off his lap. Before I’m able to pull away completely, he settles me on the couch beside him. Charged silence hovers over us, the seconds taking up a full minute.
“Why don’t you tell me why you’re really here?” he finally asks.
With a sigh, I rest my head on his shoulder and close my eyes. “I just want to wake up from this nightmare.”
“I wish you could.” He winds an arm around me, tucking me against his side. “I really do. But that still doesn’t tell me why you’re here.”
“I didn’t want to be alone, but I didn’t want to be in that dining room either.” I pause. “Liam wouldn’t let me skip it. You’re lucky you weren’t there.”
“I thought about going. Everyone expected me to, but I didn’t want to face them…or you.”
“Me?” I lift my head, eyes squinting in confusion. “Why?”
“If I hadn’t flaunted your virginity in front of Axel, he wouldn’t have hurt you. And Sebastian and Tatum…” His throat works hard, thick with emotion. “They’d still be here.”
My breath stalls, and the guilt gnawing at me finds an echo in Ford’s confession, binding us in remorseful unity. I grab his jaw and turn his face until our eyes meet.
“It’s not your fault,” I say, voice cracking. “It’s mine.”
“You know it’s not.” He shakes his head. “He wouldn’t want you to blame yourself.”
The way he says it, gentle yet confident, breaks me open. The tears I’ve been harboring all night escape down my cheeks in unstoppable rivulets. I choke out a sob as his arms come around me.
“I know it seems impossible,” Ford whispers, his words warm against my ear, “but you’ll get through this.”
“I don’t want to get through this. I want him back.”
He tightens his hold. “I know, baby girl.”
It’s not fair. First, fate stole my parents from the sky, tearing them away in a flash of fire and wreckage. And now, it’s taken him too.
Acceptance threatens to drag me into an even deeper state of despair, so I cling to the only thing I can.
Searing need.
The promise of escape.
Beautiful oblivion.
I need it more than the air in my lungs. More than the sunrise tomorrow or the crash of waves against the shore. There’s only one thing I need more than life itself, and he’s not here.
But Ford is, and he’s more than capable of making me forget, if only for a while. Letting out a stuttering sigh, I press my lips to his and silently beg him not to reject me again.
For five long seconds, he freezes, then his mouth is moving against mine.
Soft yet firm.
Both gentle and persistent.
Promising exactly what I need.
Whatever held him back before is gone. Raw hunger drives him now, his tongue savage as he deepens the kiss.
Endless moments pass before he inches back, fingers threading through my short locks. “What do you need from me, Novalee?
“Whatever you can give. Just…take it all away for a while.”