Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 79800 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 319(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79800 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 319(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
It’s nothing. We’re just… friends, I guess, and it’s nice to share that side of me with someone who understands. I’ve been hiding that part of me for so long, it feels… freeing not to have to hide it.
“Oh, it was a smile. Teeth and all,” Reid says. “Now, what I want to know is what caused this unprecedented reaction from you?” He smirks.
“I was thinking about how I’m going to kick your ass.”
Reid tosses his head back in laughter, and the other guys join in. And I try like hell to fight it, but just as they claimed earlier, my lips tilt into a grin.
“That.” Landry points at me. “There it is again.”
“Are we working out or what?” I ask, moving on to the leg press.
“We’re working out. Also, it’s my anniversary this weekend,” Knox says. “Corie isn’t ready to leave Alexander yet, not for a night out, so I was thinking you all could bring your families, and we could have dinner.”
“Fine, I mean that cuts into my baby-making time, but for my little sister, I’ll do it.” Landry sighs.
“Fuck off.” Knox laughs. “You’d better be there. If you make my wife cry because of your absence, I’ll be the one doing the ass kicking.” He scowls at his brother-in-law.
“I’ll help.” I raise my hand, and Landry glares at me. “What? The guy is trying to do a nice thing for his wife.”
“My sister.” Landry defends himself, but it’s no use. Knox won’t let this argument die. In fact, neither of them will.
“Husband trumps brother,” Knox says, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Pfft,” Landry scoffs. “Brother is for life.”
“She’s mine for life,” Knox says. From the tone of his voice, you know that there is no arguing with him over this. Corie is his forever, and he’ll argue with her brother until he’s blue in the face to get his point across.
Not that I blame him. I admire him—hell, all of them, and what they’ve gone through for the women they’ve chosen to spend forever with. None of them gave up on what they wanted. I can’t say the same. I let my hurt feelings and my history of feeling rejected guide me, and I didn’t fight. I just walked away.
I’ve been thinking about that day a lot more than usual. The night my life changed in so many ways. I was drafted to the Rampage, and I thought for sure I’d be going to bed that night with my fiancée.
“So, what time?” Baker asks, pulling Landry and Knox out of their Corie battle.
“Let’s make it early. Around one? We’ll eat lunch. We’re still trying to get Alexander on a sleeping schedule. Little man thinks it’s party time at 1:00 a.m. Maybe if everyone is there, keeping him awake, that will help with the process.”
“Takes time,” Baker tells him. “I think Cam was six weeks before he started sleeping through the night.”
“Coral was three months,” Reid tells him. “Although Bellamy would tell you that’s my fault because every little sound she made, I was rushing to hold her.” He shrugs. “She’s a daddy’s girl, what can I say?”
“Yeah, your wife talked to mine.” Knox laughs. “I’m not allowed to do that, thanks to you.” He pretends to glare at Reid but ends up laughing instead.
“I can’t fucking wait,” Landry muses.
“It’ll happen,” Knox says, slapping a hand on Landry’s shoulder.
A pang of envy hits me hard in the chest. I want what they have. Growing up without a family, I was certain that I’d found the woman, the love of my life, that I would create my own with. I swore to myself that not a single day would pass by that my kids and my wife didn’t know what they meant to me.
Then she said no.
My life changed that day. My dreams for what my future would look like got pushed to the back of my mind. In the very dark recess, the place I don’t allow myself to visit to avoid the crushing pain of disappointment.
By the time I realized I should have fought for her, it was too late. Too much time had passed, and if social media was anything to go by, she’d moved on. I wasn’t hurt that she’d moved on. I expected it. What hurt the most was how complete her life looked without me in it. The things we planned, the life we dreamed of, she was living with someone else. She was dating a doctor. I’m assuming someone she worked with or met at medical school. I stopped looking her up after that. It hurt too much to see her living the life we planned.
I think that’s what hurt the most. She dreamed with me. She contributed to the conversations about our future and where we wanted it to go. She changed her plans, and I wasn’t included.