Total pages in book: 331
Estimated words: 315585 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1578(@200wpm)___ 1262(@250wpm)___ 1052(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 315585 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1578(@200wpm)___ 1262(@250wpm)___ 1052(@300wpm)
I wipe it away and realize my hand is shaking.
“I managed to untie the belt from the bars, and once I was able to sit down, I used my teeth to undo my wrists. Your mother cried. She just kept saying, ‘He’s a good boy. He’s not like them.’ Then she…” Taking a second, Eve sucks in a shaky breath. I know what she doesn’t want to say. My mother killed herself. “Then there was just…silence. It must have been morning when you came back down. Your father told you she was gone. You started screaming for her.”
My heart thunders in my chest as I begin to comprehend what she’s telling me. Everett was the girl huddled in the corner of the cell across from my mother. She was right there in front of me. I could have saved her, but my focus was on finding my mother who was already dead. I should have saved Eve.
“I remember thinking I’ll do that one day. I’ll get the chance to end it. The only difference is no one will scream for me. No one will miss me.”
Her watery eyes meet mine. “I’m sorry, Kashton. It’s my fault…” Her eyes redden. “It was me that night…she ended her life because of me.” Sniffling, she goes on. “I took her from you—”
“No.” I reach out and cradle her face in my hands. “It’s not your fault, Eve. None of it was.”
She nods her head and I shake mine. “No. My mother…” I sigh. “She wouldn’t want you to blame yourself. She made that decision.”
“Because of me.” Eve begins to cry. “It’s my fault…everything is my fault.”
“Stop. Stop, Eve,” I say firmly to get her attention. Her watery eyes meet mine and she blinks rapidly to clear her vision. “Quit blaming yourself, angel. My mother…” I’m not sure what to say to her. She felt she had no other choice. To her it wasn’t a life worth living. But I can’t say that to Everett, because she’s tried to end her life twice.
Eve blinks, fresh tears falling from her bottom lashes. “She would be proud of you, Kashton.”
My stomach knots at her words. Eve is wrong. My mother would be ashamed of who I’ve become. As hard as I tried not to become my father, I did. The woman sitting in front of me is proof.
It doesn’t matter how many videos are sent to me; I’m not letting her go. She may not physically be in the basement chained to the wall with a collar around her neck, but I’m going to make sure she is chained to me for life. I’m going to make her my Lady.
“Come on,” I order, standing and helping her do the same. “I’ll dry your hair. Your soup is going to get cold.”
EVERETT
I’ve been locked in Kashton’s bedroom for a week. The only fresh air I get is when I sit out on his balcony like I am right now.
It’s not a warm day, but it’s also not cold. I’m wearing one of his hoodies while drinking a bottle of water. I’m craving a fucking drink. Jessie keeps me fed, and Kash—well, he hasn’t left my side.
He’s hovering, and it’s obvious he doesn’t trust me. He made that very clear when he had Devin knock me out to stitch up my leg for the second time.
We haven’t fucked. He hasn’t even touched me, really. He gives me baths but doesn’t join me. We sleep in the same bed, but he doesn’t make any advances.
I’ve either scared him, or he no longer finds me attractive. I’ve become the useless trash that no one wants. Not someone like him anyway. Just the ones who pay to fuck you when they’re in the mood.
I wish he’d just kick me out of Carnage. Send me away. That would be easier to accept than this.
He’s also fighting with Haidyn. I’ve heard their hushed conversations in the hallway while they think I’m asleep. Haidyn wants me on medication. He thinks I’m suicidal. I was at one point, but I don’t want to die today.
I refuse to take medication. It’s why I don’t do drugs. They would probably make things easier. Help blur the memories. But that’s what the Lords did to me at Dollhouse, which is why I refuse to take anything. For so long, I’ve tried to convince myself I’m not the same woman, but maybe I am.
Kashton thinks I’m broken. Haidyn thinks I’m a danger to myself. I think I’m fine. We can’t all three be wrong. Someone has to be right. The question is, which one of us is it?
“I have to leave, Eve,” Kashton announces, stepping out onto his balcony.
I look up at him. “Where are you going?” Finally. I’ll get a second to breathe. Think for myself. He places my food orders with Jessie, and he decides when he bathes me. Kash also brushes my hair. The only thing I do myself is brush my teeth and wipe my own ass. I’ve allowed him to take over my life.