Total pages in book: 58
Estimated words: 56278 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 281(@200wpm)___ 225(@250wpm)___ 188(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 56278 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 281(@200wpm)___ 225(@250wpm)___ 188(@300wpm)
If I could barely help myself, how could I help others?
I didn’t want there to be something wrong with me.
A loud crack went off not too far from here, and I sat up straighter and looked at Wade. It sounded like a tree snapping in half.
My heart drummed faster.
“We’re safe here, blue.”
Oh. It’d been a long time since he’d used that nickname for me. It was because of my eyes. They were light blue.
He’d closed the shutters, but I still heard the rain splattering against the cabin.
Wade wasn’t bothered one bit. He sat on his end of the couch—or, he was half lying down, with his feet on the table—and gazed into the fire as he sipped his coffee.
I wondered what he was thinking. It wasn’t the first time I’d seen him just stare at nothing.
The other day, he’d read a book for a couple of hours, and then he’d put it down, remained seated, and simply stared off into space. Like a psychopath.
Either his mind was at utter peace, or it provided so much entertainment that he didn’t need anything else.
“How can you just sit there and do nothing?” I wondered. “Don’t you get bored?”
He lolled his head along the back of the couch and smiled faintly. “Who says I’m not doing anything?”
Um.
Next, he patted the spot next to him. “Come here. I wanna show you something.”
Okay!
I set my mug on the table and hurried over to him, bringing one of the blankets with me.
Not that I’d admit it so he could hear, but I loved being close to him.
I snickered at the thought of Chris being here instead. “Can you imagine if Chris had been in charge of this silly intervention? He would’ve been all, drop and give me twenty! Don’t just stand there, boy—chop wood faster!”
I plopped down next to Wade, and he chuckled warmly.
“And that’s why he isn’t here,” he said. “He doesn’t know how to approach you in the best way.”
“But you do?”
He peered at me, his expression open. “You’ve cooked, you’ve baked, you’ve made me coffee, you’ve helped out around the cabin, and you haven’t screamed at me yet. I’d say I’m doing a damn good job.”
I grinned ruefully and leaned back against the cushions like he had. “Don’t get too smug.”
“I’ll be as smug as I please.” He finished his coffee and left the mug on the table before leaning back again. “Now. Roll your shoulders a bit. Make sure you’re comfortable.”
I obeyed. I let out a long breath too, which caused me to yawn.
“Good.” His voice dropped a little. “Look into the fire. Really look. Let everything else disappear.”
That couldn’t be too difficult. To save batteries, we’d switched off all the lanterns. We had the fireplace and a few candles burning.
Either way, I made a conscious effort to only zero in on the fireplace. I watched the flames dance and the embers whirl skyward.
“Relax your eyes too,” he murmured. “It’s okay if your vision blurs at the edges.”
His voice relaxed me more than the flames, though they kinda worked too. I let out another breath, feeling like I was melting into the couch, and I got it. I’d had an aquarium as a kid, before my mom had sold it. Staring at fish could be hypnotic.
“You’re doing something now, Kayden. You’re actively giving your mind a break from intrusive thoughts and distractions.”
“But I was just thinking about my old fish tank,” I whispered.
I felt his shoulders tremble with a silent laugh.
“It’s a process,” he whispered back. “I didn’t know you had a fish tank.”
I nodded and yawned again. “Mom sold it. But my neighbor, Mr. Davis, gave me two Push Pops to comfort me, thus beginning my love story with lollipops.”
“I do remember those.”
I heard the smile in Wade’s voice.
Yeah, he’d come home with one for me from time to time. Even as an adult, I loved them.
I stretched out my legs next to his and rested my head on his shoulder, and I didn’t look away from the flames.
It wasn’t a roaring fire. More like…chill flames after smoking a joint.
I loved the smell of burning wood too. Combined with leather, oil, and the wet forest…
I sighed contentedly.
This moment was perfect.
“I was thinkin’ about what you said earlier,” he went on quietly. “I get it. I understand needing something to fulfill a purpose and be happy. Especially when it’s part of your identity.”
I really loved this moment.
His understanding blanketed me with comfort and relief.
“Do you feel that way too?” I asked.
He hummed and rested one foot over the other. “I used to. But as you pointed out, I’m very old, and eventually, you lose hope.”
I scrunched my nose and tilted my face to look him in the eye. Except, his stare remained fixed on the fire.
He cracked a small grin eventually. “It’s not as dark as it sounds. It’s just…” He shrugged slightly. “You learn to appreciate what you have.”