Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 83777 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 419(@200wpm)___ 335(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83777 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 419(@200wpm)___ 335(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
“Oh, he must get that from his momma.”
“Oh, he has me beat. That’s for sure. But he’s a good kid. He’s so smart, and when he lets his guard down, he’s still that sweet boy with rosy cheeks who used to bring me weeds from the backyard.”
“Weeds?”
“He thought they were flowers.” I shook my head at the memory. I’ve always had a special connection with Austin, not just because he was my first born, because we understood each other in ways no one else did. “His sister is just as sweet, but she’s also sassy. Very sassy. The kid’s eleven going on twenty-five, and she might be the messiest kid on the planet.”
“Surely not.”
“Oh, it's bad. She thinks shoving crap under her bed qualifies as cleaning. It’s a nightmare when I finally get under there and start pulling stuff out, but she has a heart the size of Texas. She’ll give you her last cookie and somehow make you feel like you’re doing her a favor.”
“She sounds like trouble.”
“The best kind,” I said softly as I glanced over to the fire. “They drive me crazy, but I’d do just about anything for them.”
“They’re lucky to have you.”
I didn’t respond.
I tried to be a good mother to them both, but I had my shortcomings. Plenty of them, and I worried that one day it would catch up with me and with them. I stared into the fire for a moment before asking, “What about you? Do you have any kids?”
“Afraid not.”
“That’s a shame. You would’ve been a great dad.”
“What are you saying? I’m old or something?”
“Well… no. That’s not what I meant at all.”
“Good, cause I’ve still got a few good years left in me.”
“You proved earlier tonight that you have more than a few left in you.”
“Yeah, that’s right,” he chuckled. “Regardless, the door on kids isn’t completely closed. But even if it was, I’d be okay with that.”
We let the quiet fall again and just listened to the sizzle of the hot dogs and the occasional pop of the logs breaking it up. My hot dog was done, so I reached over and grabbed a bun from the bag. I put on some ketchup, and Jameson did the same with his. After a couple of bites, he asked, “So, what about teaching? Do you like it?”
“Some days.” I shrugged. “I’ve got a few students who make the day worthwhile, but most of the time it’s just a job. It pays the bills and keeps the insurance going. That’s about it.”
He studied me for a second, then asked the one question I’d hoped he wouldn’t ask. “Why’d you leave the force?”
“Hmm.” I let out a breath. “That’s a long story.”
He didn’t push.
He just held my gaze and said, “I’ve got time.”
“I’m surprised you don’t already know.”
He knew about the divorce, where I worked, and the kids. I couldn’t imagine how he didn’t know about that night. Hell, everyone knew about it. But Jameson shook his head and said, “Know what?”
“Something happened. It was pretty bad, and I’ll tell you all about it. But just not tonight. It’s too much for tonight.”
“Nothing’s too much when it comes to you, babe, but you can tell me whenever you get ready.”
“And please don’t do that thing you do and go looking for yourself.” I found it doubtful that he would agree, but I told him, “Just be patient and wait until I’m ready. I want to be the one who tells you.”
“Understood.”
I turned and stared back at the fire for a long minute, letting the silence wrap around us again. My heart was pounding, not just from the memories, but from the weight of him sitting beside me. It was just the way it used to be, and it was too much and not enough all at once.
I turned to him, my voice quieter now, but steady. “What are we doing?”
“What do you mean?”
“This.” I motioned my hand between us. “The sex. The fire. The hotdogs. What is this?”
Without missing a beat, he smirked and said, “I was hoping I was winning you over, but now, I’m not so sure.”
“I’m serious, Jameson. Are we just hooking up for old time’s sake, or is this something more?”
His smirk faded, and he turned his body toward me. “What do you want it to be?”
“Oh, no. Don’t you go spinning this back around to me. We’re both in this.” I met his eyes, heart in my throat. “There were reasons why it didn’t work before, and I don’t want to go through all that again.”
“I remember all too well, but some of those reasons aren’t reasons anymore.”
“No, but now there are different ones. I have kids to consider. I can’t afford to get this wrong.”
He didn’t flinch.
He looked me dead in the eye and said, “Then let me get it right.”