Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 102394 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 512(@200wpm)___ 410(@250wpm)___ 341(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 102394 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 512(@200wpm)___ 410(@250wpm)___ 341(@300wpm)
“I think it’s a beautiful thing when a man allows himself to cry,” she whispered.
We sat quietly for a long moment.
“Listen, now that my grandmother has passed, we can leave Jersey, if you want.”
Her eyes widened. “You can’t leave before the wake and funeral…”
I shrugged. “Those events are for other people, not the person who died. Wakes make me angry, in fact. Sometimes it’s a bunch of jerks talking and laughing while the dead body is right there in the room. Half the time I want to punch people for being so damn disrespectful.” I groaned.
“Well, that’s true…” she agreed.
“The only thing that matters to me was getting to see her before she died and to make sure she knew I loved her,” I said. “I’m at peace with that.”
“Okay, but I still don’t think we should up and leave,” she added. “It would be important to your mom to have you by her side, don’t you think?”
I exhaled. She was right. “Yeah. We’ll stay.” I wiped my eyes one last time. “Listen, you need to somehow erase my crying episode from your memory, okay?”
“Deal, if you erase my towel drop from yours.”
I flashed a mischievous grin. “No chance in hell…”
***
Grandma’s wake a couple of days later was just as uncomfortable as I’d imagined, with lines of people, some of whom I recognized and others who were complete strangers. I couldn’t tell you how many hands I’d shaken in that receiving line, and it looked like flowers had exploded everywhere. My grandmother knew a lot of people and had always been a social butterfly, so the amount of locals coming to pay their respects wasn’t surprising. It was overwhelming, though, to see so many faces I hadn’t come across in years.
Even a few of my exes from high school and beyond had showed up. Awkward but touching. While I’d only had one serious relationship, I’d dated a lot. I kept noticing Juliette looking over at me whenever I talked to one of them. Not sure why some sick part of me liked the idea that she might have been jealous. If I knew nothing was going to happen between us, why did that matter?
At one point, when the line finally died down, my mother placed her hand on my shoulder. “How are you holding up?”
“I’m okay.” I shrugged. “I’m looking forward to this being over, though. It just feels like something I wish you and I could’ve done in private.”
She nodded. “I know. But your grandmother knew a lot of people, and I didn’t want them to feel slighted. You don’t get a do-over with these things.”
I turned around toward the open casket and knelt there. Even though Grandma was pretty frail in her final days, the funeral home had done a good job with her makeup and hair. Her hands were crossed one over the other, looking a bit orangey and hardened, and she held a set of rosary beads. I had to keep reminding myself that the body was no longer my grandmother. She was an angel now, and hopefully fully able-bodied, healthy, and playing bingo in the sky.
Eventually several people lined up again to greet us, so it was back to business. A little while later I realized I’d gotten distracted and hadn’t noticed that Juliette had disappeared from her seat. She and I hadn’t really discussed safety tonight, but I’d assumed it went without saying that she shouldn’t leave my sight. She’d probably just had to go to the bathroom and would be right back. I tried not to panic—yet.
Twenty minutes later, though, the wake was winding down and there was still no sign of Juliette. Now I could panic. My mother knew nothing about the real nature of my relationship to Juliette, yet she seemed concerned, too, when I pointed out that it was odd Juliette hadn’t returned from the bathroom. I excused myself and left the viewing room.
Sweat beaded on my forehead as I searched the funeral parlor in a frenzy. I’d never forgive myself if something happened to her, even if I had good reason to be distracted tonight.
I entered every bathroom on the premises, but there was no sign of her. Next, I ran out toward the front and around back to the parking lot. No Juliette.
When I reached for my phone, I remembered I’d stupidly given it to her to hold in her purse during the wake since it barely fit in the small pockets of my dress pants.
Fuck!
How could I have been so irresponsible?
I went down to the funeral home basement again, where the bathrooms were. The sound of knocking coming from the back corner caught my attention. Actually, it was more like banging.
“Help!” I heard someone say.
Juliette?
Oh my God.
What the fuck?
I ran over to the door and frantically tried to open it. “Are you okay?” I yelled.