Total pages in book: 72
Estimated words: 72969 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 365(@200wpm)___ 292(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72969 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 365(@200wpm)___ 292(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
Hell, we all have fences to mend.
“Before looks, thanks dropping,” Dad says.
Mom just smiles, squeezing his hand again. “Yes, honey. We know.”
“But message long last time,” he says.
Eagle looks at me, fear in his dark eyes.
Is he looking for some kind of validation? That Dad is okay?
I have nothing. I can repeat what the nurse said, that the aphasia will probably resolve on its own, but he knows that as well as I do.
Still, I end up doing what I always do. “It’s okay, E,” I whisper.
Because even though I resent being my brother’s keeper and getting him out of all of his messes, he is still my little brother and I love him. I would take a bullet for him in an instant.
And yes, I resent the hell out of that.
“You look good, Dad,” Falcon says.
“Yeah, Daddy,” Robin agrees. “Your color is great.”
“Pill father though either,” Dad says.
“Can you count to ten for me, daddy?” Raven asks.
He squeezes his eyes shut. “One two four five seven nine ten.”
Not bad. He only left out three, six, and eight.
“Coming,” Dad says.
“It’s okay,” Mom says again. “You don’t have to talk, Austin. I know it must be frustrating for you.”
Dad’s breathing accelerates, and he blinks his eyes rapidly.
“Austin, please. Relax.”
“Relax,” Dad repeats.
“Yes, honey. Please.”
But then he shakes his head. “Relax,” he says. “Coming.”
“Daddy, please,” Raven says.
But Dad continues shaking his head. “They’re coming,” he says. “They’re coming.”
6
DANIELA
I hate hospitals.
I don’t think they’re anyone’s favorite place, but I truly hate them.
A hospital took from me the one thing I truly wanted when I was fifteen years old. It was the first time…but not the last.
Three Years Earlier…
“You’re a fucking slut like the rest of them,” my father berates me.
“Please…” I beg.
He scowls. “Didn’t he use a condom?”
I sit on the edge of my bed, the sonogram picture tucked beneath my pillow like a secret I’m not allowed to keep. It’s grainy and hard to read if you don’t know what you’re looking at—but I do. I know exactly what it is. That tiny curve of light, that flicker they said was a heartbeat.
My baby.
I press my hand against my stomach. It’s flat, of course, but I feel like I’ve already started to change. My boobs hurt and I have to pee a lot. I didn’t plan this. I didn’t plan any of this. But now that it’s real, I can’t imagine letting it go.
But my dad…
He didn’t even look at the picture. Just said, “You’re getting it taken care of,” like I was a puppy that made a mess on the carpet. No discussion. Like my body doesn’t even belong to me anymore.
But of course it doesn’t. It’s my father’s. He uses it as he sees fit.
“You’ll thank me one day,” he said.
No. I won’t.
I’m not stupid. I know how hard this will be. But when I think about ending this life inside me, it feels like something in me will die, too.
He says I’m too young to know what I want. But what if I’m just young enough to still believe in something? What if I’m the only one who sees this not as a problem but as a person?
I close my eyes and picture her. Or him. I know I already love this baby in a way that makes my chest ache.
If my father makes me do this, if I go through with it just to keep the peace, just to obey—he’ll get his clean, quiet life back.
But I’ll never be whole again.
I grab his hands. “Please, don’t make me. I want the baby. I want something to love. Something that will love me.”
He whips away from my grasp, leering at me coldly. “We’re going to the hospital.”
“Please, let me keep my baby, Papa. Please.”
“No.”
In a flash my father is holding a pistol, and he puts the nose against my head.
My heart races as fear courses through me. This can’t be good for the baby. He wouldn’t end my life. Would he?
Then again, he does heinous things every day.
“Papa, please.”
“Choose, Daniela. You or the baby.”
“Papa…” I sob.
“We’re going to the hospital. Everything is prearranged. You will have the procedure.”
“No!”
But he pushes the gun against my hair. “Fine. Like I said. Choose. Either I end your life, or you end the baby’s.”
I gulp back my sobs. “If you kill me, the baby will die too.”
“Exactly,” he says. “Either way, I get what I fucking want.”
Present Day…
“How long do we have to stay?” Belinda asks me in a small voice.
She was so happy when we left. She’d just finished playing, which makes her the happiest, and then I told her that Vinnie was taking us out to dinner and she could get that ice cream she loves.
But now, as we stand outside of Raven’s father’s hospital room, she looks anything but happy.
“You all right?” I ask.