Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 89074 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 445(@200wpm)___ 356(@250wpm)___ 297(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 89074 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 445(@200wpm)___ 356(@250wpm)___ 297(@300wpm)
“What?”
“Caring about people. Never thought I’d let myself do that again.”
She tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear. “After… after what happened to your sister?”
I nod, looking out the window at the snow.
I’d given Briar the short version of what happened to Lune, and luckily she’d never given me any pity-looks or treated me differently.
“Well, I fucking hate feeling powerless. Whether I care about the guys in Onyx or not, I won’t let someone trample all over them. Especially Rayne.”
“Because Rayne’s special?” she teases.
“He isn’t like the other guys in Onyx. He came from nothing, and he deserves the life that Onyx and Crimson College can give him.”
Briar lifts her eyebrows. “Hunter, I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you give someone a compliment. Other than me, when we’re fencing, of course.”
Heat creeps up along the back of my neck.
“I fucking hate Colson,” I tell her.
Except for the fact that I don’t.
“Right.”
“But he’s still the most deserving person in Onyx. Probably in this whole school.”
She’s clearly trying to hide a smile as she takes another bite of her sandwich.
And the tornado of frustration that built up inside me earlier is back now, whipping through me even worse, this time.
Solve the fucking problem that Onyx has, and it ends there.
Fuck Rayne senseless when he begs.
Take his cock because it’s perfect. But getting attached in any other way is not an option.
I’m the kind of person who is fuckable, not lovable.
I’ve known that for a long time.
And there’s nothing wrong with that.
I won’t feel a goddamned thing when all of this ends. When, inevitably, Rayne finds a guy who is actually a match for him.
Colson will miss my cock forever, no doubt.
When he fucks the guy who eventually becomes his picture-perfect husband, probably someone kind, and sweet, and good for him…
I hope he remembers what I felt like.
Or how the back of my knife on his chest only made his cock harder.
I can never have Rayne, but my mark will always be etched onto him, long after this is over.
And for now, my only objective is to protect him, Wes, and myself, at all costs.
“You heading home for fall break next week?” Briar asks, pulling me out of the silent storm in my mind.
Home. Have I really ever had one of those?
“No. I’ll be here,” I tell her. “You?”
“Same. Not worth the zillion-hour long flight to Hong Kong.”
“Weston and Rayne aren’t going home, either,” I say. “I’ll come over to Luros and watch spooky movies with you. Onyx House is going to be weird and fucking awkward without a buffer between those two.”
“Are they fighting?”
Shit.
I’d forgotten Briar knew nothing about what happened.
My chest tightens. “Worse than fighting.”
“Sounds like drama.”
“Weston saw Rayne kissing someone and he was pissed about it.”
It’s the truth, even if it’s leaving out the fact that I was the one he kissed.
Her eyes go wide. “Do you think Weston had a secret thing for Rayne?”
I shrug. “Nothing serious, but he was at least a little curious.”
“Damn.”
“He isn’t happy about it, but Weston’s always been weird about Rayne. Might just be a possessive best friend thing. Who the fuck knows, when it comes to Wes?”
“Kind of cute if he did have a secret crush on him, though,” Briar says. “Maybe they’ll end up together.”
I bring my arm down too fast and the empty ceramic soup cup clatters off the table, falling onto the floor as the metal spoon clangs out, too.
Eyes around us briefly turn, and that heat at the back of my neck is all over my body now.
But for some reason I want to toss the cup against the wall now. Smash it to pieces.
Maybe take out my throwing knives and sink those into the wood, too.
But instead I just grab the cup and spoon, putting them back on the table.
Restraint.
My least favorite fucking thing.
“Weston and Rayne will not end up together,” I tell Briar as I stand up from the table, wrapping my sandwich in its paper again and taking it with me. “I have to get back to Onyx House. Some of the guys are going to that dumb fucking Daggers party tonight, and I don’t want them going without me.”
“Wish I could come, too. Got a hot date with my Biochemistry homework, unfortunately.”
I wave as I walk off through the dining hall.
I’m letting things get to me.
I need a fucking release.
And if Rayne has to go to this stupid fucking party tonight, at least I’m going to be there to watch him.
23
Rayne
In my memory, Hunter seemed different.
In high school, he was terrifying and beautiful, all at once, like we had a living dragon inside our halls.
And I just watched him.
The art he made.
The way he always knew the answers when a teacher called on him in class.
The way he’d wait to walk home in front of me and Weston after school each day, even though he never spoke to us.