Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 98819 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 494(@200wpm)___ 395(@250wpm)___ 329(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98819 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 494(@200wpm)___ 395(@250wpm)___ 329(@300wpm)
“Rex, I. . .” Once again, her voice trails off.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything.” And she doesn’t. I’ll wait as long as she lets me. “When you’re ready, you can tell me what you need to.” As long as I can hold her, I have everything I could ever want, right here.
Inara
* * *
I’m falling from a great height. The blast seared me, but now the air is soft and sweet, embracing my face.
Death is calling me. “Inara. . .”
“Inara,” Rex snarls. He’s gripping both my arms, his eyes wild. Water is streaming down both our faces.
We’re in the shower, washing the grit of the explosion off each other.
I’ve had visions during the day before, but only in the most tense moments of a case. I guess surviving an explosion is as intense as it gets.
“I’m here,” I say. I find Rex’s hands and grip them.
“You went somewhere.” He fumbles for the shower handle, and it takes a few tries for him to turn off the water. I’ve never seen him so clumsy.
“I’m okay.” The words are heavy on my tongue. I’m not okay. I haven’t been for a long time. But at this moment, with Rex, I feel more stable.
“I’ll call the doctor back.” After the explosion, Rex took me straight back to the hotel. We entered via the private elevator, as usual, and a doctor named Atticus met us in our private rooms. Rex had contacted him, and he insisted on looking us over immediately to check for signs of a concussion.
“No. . . it’s not that. I’m fine.” It’s not a head injury. It’s my visions, intruding in my waking moments. I need to tell him about them. I’m ready, but I can’t find the words.
“Okay. But the next time it happens, I’m calling Atticus.” He cups my cheeks in his calloused hands, looking grim. I try to force a smile, but it drops away.
“We almost died,” I say instead. We’re naked in the shower together, with nothing between us. More than that, we’ve connected in so many ways.
He’s shown me all of him.
I want to show him all of me.
“I know.” Water drips from his brow, sliding down his cheeks like a tear. His face is a harsh but cold composition, his incredible beauty another sort of armor. But the more he looks at me, the softer his gaze becomes.
“It was so close.”
“Inara. . .”
“I don’t want you to die.” There’s a knife driving down my breastbone, opening me up. The water sliding down my face is real tears. “I—”
“Shhh, I know.” A smile breaks over his face, pure joy like a brilliant sunrise lighting up the heavens. He thumbs what he just knows are tears from my cheeks. “I know. But I was grateful for one thing.”
“What?”
“If the explosion had happened when we were both inside. . .” His head drops under the weight of what he’s about to say. “We would’ve gone together.”
My mouth opens, and I shake on a silent sob.
“I would’ve been with you. And that’s all I want. To be with you.”
I lean into him, sobbing full out now, and he bows further, pressing his temple to mine. He holds me close, gentle, treating me like I’m delicate. And I am.
I’m so fragile, so broken, but this? This makes me feel real. Maybe the pain inside won’t poison me fully. Maybe I can let it out while he holds me together.
“I feel so weak,” I whisper.
“No. You’re the strongest person I know.”
And then I surge to my tiptoes, pressing against the strong wall of his chest. I find his lips, needing more connection. His mouth meets mine, but instead of consuming me, he sips, tasting my watered-down tears. It’s not enough and I grow frantic, clawing at his shoulders, trying to climb him.
“I need you,” I gasp into his mouth.
“I know.” He lifts me up but keeps kissing me gently. Passion claws at my throat, but it’s not for sex. It’s for this, the closeness. His palms cup my ass, and I twine my legs around him, but he just holds me up. Holds me against him so I feel all of him. “I have you.”
I let my head fall to the crook of his neck and shoulder. He rocks me a little.
“I have you, Inara.” And he does. I am lifted and loved.
Life is so hard. We’re born out of darkness and struggle in the sun until it’s time to die. There’s so much suffering, so much pain.
But there’s also love. And that can be enough. Even when the night comes, love will be enough.
“Please. . . call me ‘little bird’ again.”
His shoulders and head relax, collapsing toward me even as his arms remain strong. I let myself go limp, too. I don’t need to carry anything.
“I want to be with you,” I tell him, and it’s so easy. It’s the easiest thing I’ve done. “By your side. I can’t lose you, either.”