Total pages in book: 173
Estimated words: 163802 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 819(@200wpm)___ 655(@250wpm)___ 546(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 163802 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 819(@200wpm)___ 655(@250wpm)___ 546(@300wpm)
Alex tugged a little harder as he reached down, closing on the plastic bag with his other—
“My father started raping me when I was eight years old.”
Alex froze—stopping dead with his head hovering over my cleavage and body bent at the waist.
“There is a secret passage on the second floor that leads to a secret room,” I went on—my tone flat. “No doubt it was made for the reasons Davis suspects. As a hiding place for alcohol during Prohibition. But what it became... was my hell.”
Slowly, Alex straightened... and let go of the drive and bag.
“Appa was clever,” I forced out. “When he’d come into our room in the middle of the night, he dressed head to toe as a clown. The stupid outfit, the big shoes, the red nose, and the face paint. No detail spared because he knew if I ever told anyone about the evil clown who’d sneak into my room at night and carry me through the walls to a room where he’d hurt me, no one would believe me.
“And no one did.”
No smirk. No laugh. No trickster’s grin. Alex’s bravado faded away, leaving behind nothing but true and naked horror. “Sarang... I...”
It was okay that he was speechless. Not even someone with a history like his could be expected to know what to say in the face of such evil.
“Even with all that fucking face paint on, I knew it was my father doing those things to me, but when I tried telling Omma, she didn’t believe me,” I croaked. “She thought I was just a little kid having nightmares, and it didn’t help that every time I turned to Sue and begged her to tell Omma that the clown was real, she’d lie.”
“She’d lie!?”
My lips twisted. “Oh, yes. You see, Appa was only doing it to me, not her. I got to deal with the monster every night, and Sue got the saint every day. Our father would shower her in treats, presents, candy, pets—anything she wanted. And all Sue had to do was keep telling the world I was a liar. That no one was coming into our room at night, and I was making it all up for attention.”
I made a noise under my breath. “I know what you’re thinking. She was a young, impressionable child being groomed by a predator. By her own father. She didn’t know any better. All the fault lay with Appa, not her.” I inclined my head. “And sure, I guess I can say that’s true.
“But that wasn’t what Omma thought when she woke in the middle of the night and found my father’s side of the bed empty, and me missing from mine. She panicked,” I confessed. “She searched the whole manor for me but I was gone. Then, she woke up Sue and ordered her to tell her what happened. Where did I go?
“Scared, Sue finally admitted that everything I said was true. Our disgusting, vile, pedophilic father was dressing as a clown, taking me from my bed at night, and dragging me to a room hidden in the walls.
“And just like that, Omma got a rolling pin from the kitchen, burst into the room, found him on top of me, and cracked my father over the head—killing him.”
“Killing?” he rasped.
“Killing. She didn’t slow down. She didn’t ask for explanations. She didn’t hesitate. She killed her husband, dragged his body outside, and threw it off the cliff.”
Alex’s head snapped around, staring at the walls that hid the cliffs as if he could see through them to that very scene all those years ago.
“As much as I’ve come to despise my mother over the many years,” I continued, pulling the words through a strangled throat. “As much as I’ve cried, cursed her, and wished she’d change everything about herself, I’ve never been fully able to hate her, because all I could remember is that when faced with the truth—she chose me.
“She protected me, and made sure that he’d never hurt me again,” I said. “But while our relationship was able to stay together with a frayed thread, her relationship with Sue never recovered. She couldn’t forgive Sue for lying to her face all so she could receive a few toys and lollipops. Omma looked at her differently from that day on, and Sue hated it. Of course she fucking did,” I spat. “There’s nothing a malicious narcissist hates more than someone who sees right through their bullshit.
“But because of the narcissist part I mentioned, it wasn’t Sue’s fault, and it wasn’t even Appa’s fault,” I cried. “It was mine.”
“Yours?” Outrage stole across his face. “How the fuck was it your fault?”
“Don’t ask me, Alex. I shared a womb with that bitch, and still no one on this planet understands her less than me. She was awful to me! She would constantly throw the sexual abuse in my face and say nasty, disgusting things like that I liked it or I wanted it.”