Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 93698 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 468(@200wpm)___ 375(@250wpm)___ 312(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 93698 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 468(@200wpm)___ 375(@250wpm)___ 312(@300wpm)
That had been another reminder that sex was one area in which their relationship never lacked.
But sex did not a relationship make. It also took loyalty and love.
Respect and understanding.
When his cock began to deflate, she pushed herself upright and slipped off him and to his side.
Curling up, he removed the full condom, then flopped back to the mattress with a long, satisfied sigh.
She wondered how many minutes she should let him recover before asking him to leave.
It was up to him, he’d spend the night.
Maybe even stay for breakfast.
If it was up to her, he’d be disposing of the full condom, getting dressed, and going on his way.
But that was another battle she was too tired to fight.
Chapter Twenty-Four
She thought he was leaving when he jerked up his jeans, but no. It turned out, he only pulled them on to make a quick trip to the hallway bathroom to ditch the condom and bring back a damp washcloth so she could clean herself up.
Once he returned, he dropped his jeans, climbed back on the bed, and settled in.
Like he had no place else to go.
She could fight it, but the two explosive orgasms she’d experienced were making her feel more generous than normal.
Plus, if she searched deep enough, she didn’t want him to leave. Despite knowing getting involved with him again could come back to bite her on the ass.
Using his bent arm as a pillow, he murmured, “Were so pissed at me, surprised you didn’t get rid of him.”
While his voice was soft, the unexpected message hit hard.
It also caused ice to flood her veins.
Did he really think she would’ve done something like that? Despite his betrayal, he was the only man she’d ever loved.
The only man she’d ever had sex with.
Even knowing that being a single mother would be difficult, ending the pregnancy never even crossed her mind.
“Despite what you did, I still loved you. And he’s a piece of you that I could have, even if I couldn’t have you.”
His whole body jerked next to her. He rolled to his side, jammed his elbow into the mattress, and propped his head in his hand.
She avoided his searching eyes.
“You loved me,” he repeated softly. “You didn’t say shit.”
“Tell me…would that have made a difference? Would that four-letter word have made you more loyal? More responsible?”
Grabbing her chin, he turned her face toward him. His eyebrows were drawn together. “Ain’t just a four-letter word, babe. It’s so much fuckin’ more.”
“You’re right. It’s so much more. It should never be taken lightly.”
“Still love you.”
Her heart squeezed at that unexpected admission. Holy shit. If that was true… “You never told me, either. And I wouldn’t have guessed by your actions.”
“Another stupid motherfuckin’ mistake I made. Didn’t see it back then, but clearly see it now. Shoulda told you. Shoulda showed you better. Shoulda kept my dick in my jeans.”
All of that was true. “But not apologize?” She shouldn’t have to ask.
“Didn’t think a simple sorry would fix my fuck-up. Been tryin’ to show you instead.”
He was right. Some damage couldn’t be repaired by a simple apology. She also recognized the fact he was making an attempt to be better.
“Too late to fix the past but that don’t mean we shouldn’t move the fuck forward and work on the future. Know you still love me, babe. Love our boy. Want us to make a life together. The life the three of us woulda had if I hadn’t been such a fuckin’ dickhead. I ain’t perfect. Tellin’ you now, ain’t ever gonna be perfect. That means our life ain’t gonna be perfect. But, for fuck’s sake, gonna do my fuckin’ best to make it a good one.”
Of course he sounded sincere and she really wanted to believe it. She did.
But believing him would be taking a huge leap of faith.
“Move forward,” she echoed. “Like me moving onto the farm?”
“Would be one step toward our future. The other would be gettin’ rid of him.”
Her chin jerked back into her neck and she did a double-take. “Him?”
“That guy.”
That… “Glen?”
“Yeah. You belong to me, Ky. Want you to take what I fuckin’ said about us bein’ a family seriously.”
The whole reason she’d moved home was so Ledger would be surrounded by family. The reality was, Zeke was a major part of that family.
But she was so scared of him screwing up again. Of him getting drunk and doing something stupid, or losing his temper over some perceived slight and going back to prison. If he had always been a rock-solid guy, she wouldn’t hesitate. “Let me think about it.”
“Nothin’ to think about. All you gotta do is agree.”
Of course. She rolled her eyes at his solution. Just agree.
“You’re trying to control my life.” She was afraid she’d let him do it because she already felt the protective armor she wore falling off piece by piece, despite how hard she clung to it.