Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 92392 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92392 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
I tried to picture Kenji and Hiro as young boys.
“Hiro came. He was tiny from being underfed. His clothes were dirty and had tons of holes. My mother began to attend to Hiro immediately—shopping, a big bubbly bath, having the chef make all his favorite snacks while trying to sneak in nutritious things. And he was just overwhelmed by how big the place was and all the people in it. And. . .I remember that when it was time for him to go on the first visit. . .he shivered, got close to my mother and me, and looked up at the stairs."
Kenji’s expression turned sad. "My father was there too. Hiro pointed up to the third landing and shivered. ‘Why is that woman with bleeding wrists staring at you, father? Why is she so sad?’"
My heart broke.
Kenji gave me a sad smile. "My mother gasped. My father yelled at him for being an idiot. But I knew right there in that moment that my little brother, Hiro, was an extraordinary individual."
He lifted his gaze from my arms to my face. "And tonight my brother told me I lost my baby girl."
No.
I fisted my hands at my side.
“All night Hiro saw a baby. She haunted him through the battle.”
I stepped back. "Did Hiro say what she looked like?"
Kenji shook his head once. "He passed out afterward."
"Is he okay?"
"He is. The doctor said he was exhausted and needed to rest. He’s at the hospital being monitored."
“I want to see him.”
“When he wakes.”
“Okay.”
"Now my questions, Tora."
I bit my lip. “Kenji. . .”
"When did you find out you were pregnant?"
"Barely twenty to thirty minutes before the sacrifice." My voice came out shaky. "They said. . .a little tiger spirit was above me. Waiting for the baby to have a heartbeat and then the spirit would enter."
His eyes did not move from mine. "The pregnancy was very early?"
"Y-yes."
He took that in.
Every emotion he owned rose through the bond at once. Rage moved under sadness. Sadness moved under grief. Guilt rose around it. All of those emotions pressed against the inside of my chest.
"Everything happened so fast." The words tumbled out ahead of me. "People were being evacuated. I was terrified something would happen to you, Reo, Hiro. . .everyone. I wanted to help and I—"
My hands began to shake again. I looked down at them like they belonged to somebody else. "No. . .I don’t want to do this. . ."
"How did the sacrifice happen?"
I looked at him. "Why?"
"I want to know."
"Why do you want to know? I feel guilty enough. I feel horrible. I feel wrong. I feel like the pain of losing her will stay with me forever, and I don’t want it to. I want it gone. I want to just live my life and move on, and I don’t know if that will ever happen. I don’t know if I will ever be me again. . ."
He started to walk toward me.
“No.” I stepped back and put my hand up. "You’re angry with me."
"How could I ever be angry with my Tiger?"
"I feel your rage."
"This rage is for the world." He frowned. "This rage is for the fact that my Tiger had to sacrifice so much for us to win this war. You were the reason we won. There is no doubt in my mind."
I looked away. "I could have called you. . .I know that now. . .There was not any time, but. . .I knew you would say no. And there was this woman who saw timelines. And I knew that. . .even with the truth of those timelines you would want to try to save her. I wanted to save our baby. . ."
He crossed the last of the distance.
I tried to back away.
He pulled me into his arms.
“Kenji. . .”
He held me close to him. "How did it happen, Tora?"
I leaned my head against his chest. He was warm and smelled of expensive soap on the surface. Underneath the soap, smoked sandalwood and burnt ginger. Underneath that, the copper thread of a man who had walked out of blood and washed as much of it off as he could.
I shivered. "Why do you want to talk about this?"
"Because I think you were going to carry this alone. And that is what makes me angry most of all."
"I didn’t want you to know."
"Is that what we are?"
"Kenji. . ."
He pulled back from me, just enough that I had to look up at his face. His eyes held fury. "Never. . .keep anything like this from me. Never."
Tears spilled from my eyes.
“Never. . .” He raised his hands. His palms cradled the sides of my face. His thumb brushed the tears off my cheeks. "How did they do it, Tora?"
“Kenji. . .”
“Tell me. . .”
“Why?”
“I should know.”
My view of him became blurred from the tears. "There was a metal hook. And they. . .put it inside me. . ."