Total pages in book: 166
Estimated words: 160356 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 802(@200wpm)___ 641(@250wpm)___ 535(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 160356 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 802(@200wpm)___ 641(@250wpm)___ 535(@300wpm)
“What are they doing here?” she asks.
“They’re going to sing for you, Mum.”
“Oh. How lovely.”
They start with Silent Night, and it is utterly beautiful. Even better, Mum listens intently, a wistful smile on her face. When one of the nurses appears next to me with a tray, I take two small cups of mulled wine and put one in Mum’s hand. And I listen to the truly angelic voices as I watch her sip from her cup and sway her head in time with the music. I don’t take my eyes off her. Can’t. I just have to watch her. She’s so oblivious to the fact I’m losing my sweet mum. She has no clue and therefore doesn’t mourn her darling husband who passed away four years ago. She’s ignorant to the pain of losing her beloved Noah. Being unaware of the pain of loss is probably the only blessing of her illness.
“This is nice,” she says, reaching for my hand and resting it on her lap. I drop my gaze to our entwined fingers, holding on to her tightly. “You look so much . . . lighter, my buttercup. Happy. Shame your new man couldn’t be here too.”
I shoot her a surprised look, not that she notices. “Yes, a shame,” I agree. “I’d love for you to meet him.”
“That would be nice.”
“He has a little boy, Mum.”
She just smiles at the singers. She looks . . . at peace. As if she’s needed this. The music. The joy. Me.
“I love you, Mum.”
“I love you too, buttercup,” she says clearly, bringing the back of my hand to her mouth and kissing it. “Love you too.”
When Mum’s settled back in her bed, she drops off almost instantly, exhausted from her short outing. Deirdre clears away some of the empty cups on her wheely table. “Too many tipples,” she quips, chuckling as she drops the plastic cups in the bin.
“She seemed so good today,” I say as I watch her sleeping. “Confused still, obviously, but she knew me.” And then didn’t. Then did again.
Deirdre smiles, checking some of Mum’s notes. But she doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t she agree? I bend and kiss Mum’s forehead. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Did you enjoy the carols, Camryn?”
“They were wonderful.” I pull on my coat and swing my bag onto my shoulder. “Do you mind if I leave that here until the snow’s cleared?”
Deidre looks across to my box of things in the corner. “What is it?”
“Just a few things from work I don’t need. I’ll take it when the weather’s not so bad and I don’t need both hands in case I slip.”
“Do you want me to put in the office?”
“There’s nothing valuable. It’ll be fine there.” I frown. “Actually, you can throw it all away.”
“Oh?”
“It’s just some loose bits of stationery. See you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow.”
I push my way out into the cold, feeling so much better than when I came, and stutter on the steps when I see Dec’s black Defender. He gets out and opens the back door, revealing Albi on the back seat, out of his car seat. “Camryn!” he sings, scrambling across to get out.
His face is fucking precious. It could never not bring a smile to mine. “What are you doing here?” I ask, taking the steps down to them.
“We took an early day,” Dec says.
“We been busting balls!” Albi declares, practically launching himself at me, forcing me to catch him or let him fall face first into the snow. Of course, I catch him. Trust.
He clings to my neck, his face close to mine. I could break down on the spot. “Busting balls, huh?”
“Yeah!”
I look past him to Dec. He looks yummy in his jeans and navy coat, a scarf wrapped around his neck. “You changed out of your power suits?”
“After we busted those balls.”
“Poor balls.” I plant a kiss on Albi’s cheek and lower him to the snow.
“Are you finished work now, Camryn?”
I laugh, looking out the corner of my eye to Dec. “Yep. All finished.”
“We are too!” He darts back to the car and scrambles up into his car seat, getting his arms through the straps. “It’s ice-skating time.”
I recoil. “What?”
Dec looks instantly uncomfortable. “I lost a bet.”
“Yeah,” Albi sings. “Daddy said I couldn’t be quiet for the whole of his call, and I was.”
“And now I have to take him ice skating.”
“Oh, well, have fun.”
Dec’s face falls, and try as I might, I can’t keep mine straight. “You’re fucking with me,” he breathes quietly.
“You’re not coming?” Albi murmurs, forlorn.
“Of course I’m coming.” I reach into the car and buckle him up, and then I still. It’s like muscle memory, instinctively doing this. “Will you have a penguin?”
He gasps, utterly gobsmacked. “You know about the penguins?”
“I do indeed.”
“How?”
“Because I looked it up, of course.” I check his straps and take the door. “Mind your fingers,” I say, making sure his hands aren’t wandering as I close the door. “Ice skating?” I face Dec. “Of all the things you could have used as leverage, you used ice skating?”