Total pages in book: 26
Estimated words: 25544 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 128(@200wpm)___ 102(@250wpm)___ 85(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 25544 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 128(@200wpm)___ 102(@250wpm)___ 85(@300wpm)
It almost makes me cry, but I manage to sniff all the tears back. It’s just so like...him to have a household that delivers above and beyond. I ask for egg, and they give me all kinds of it, and they’re all so perfectly cooked that it’s sure to gain the approval of even someone like Sandy who—
Stop!
I need to stop thinking about...about men in general.
I just need to rest and eat and...and...thank goodness for Judy, who takes one look at my face, and it’s like she magically knows exactly what I need. Right after breakfast, she asks if I’ve had a chance to look around, and when I say no, she asks Mr. Everford’s head housekeeper to give us a tour.
And so that’s what we do for the next two hours. Michelle shows us all the rooms except for the master’s bedroom and his private study, and everything is just pretty...and pretty incredible when I eventually realize that all the land I can see through his floor-to-ceiling windows is, well, his. An entire town could fit on his property. And he even has his own lake!
Granted, it's man-made.
But still.
His own lake!
Montero comes by at ten, and I already remember him even before he introduces himself. I thank him for his help that night, and he reassures me that his boss has taken care of everything, which turns out to be the understatement of the year.
By ‘everything’ he apparently means that Jerry’s now behind bars and unlikely to be released in his lifetime.
In the afternoon, we receive another visitor. The woman has long dark hair with prematurely-white streaks, and gray eyes that somehow seem ancient with wisdom. I think that’s why I wasn’t surprised to hear her introduce herself as a counselor who specializes in trauma, broken marriages, and even grief, being a widow herself.
I also start seeing a pattern when Heidi casually reveals she used to work for the army, and when we start with our session, I notice how she’s more like Dr. Pitt than Judy, with how she gently but firmly guides me to process the most undeniably hurtful parts of my life.
Tell me what you remember about the attack.
Tell me what you felt when the memories came back.
Tell me about your marriage.
And funnily enough, that's what actually makes me break down and cry. Not the part about almost getting raped or the memories of it. But it's when she asks me about my marriage, and how she wants me to think about the five most recent memories I have of Sandy that make me feel happy and loved—
That's what makes me cry.
Because I try so, so hard, and I can't think of a single one.
Because all the good times were back when we were just dating. But the moment we married, I realize now that he started changing. Or maybe it's more accurate to say that he started showing his true colors when I became his wife, and I would no longer be able to...escape.
The way Heidi forces me to see everything without my rose-colored glasses...
It hurts so, so much to realize how stupid I am.
So, so stupid.
How can I not have seen the truth?
Heidi only leaves after checking in with Judy, and it makes me feel bad how the entire staff fusses over me after our first session. I try to tell them I'm fine, but it's no use. They all want to spoil me and take care of me like I'm fragile glass, and of course I know this is all Mr. Everford's doing, too.
He truly has everything taken care of, and that's why, when I'm once again alone in my room at night...
I find myself wrestling with another question that leaves my conscience distraught and my soul restless.
Why have I started missing him when I'm still married to Sandy?
Chapter Seventeen
I NEVER THOUGHT I'D be this...obsessed.
This...terrified.
And the part of me that has always been too arrogant for my own good—
That part of me is foolishly tempted to just walk out. On everything. I can tell myself that this is a good thing I'm doing, or that I've temporarily lost my mind.
Either way, I'm just going to help her be free of the douchebag she's been married to for two decades, and then just let go.
At least this way, I'd still be able to save my pride.
Because if I do end up asking her, and she says no—
Stop being a coward, Everford.
And so I force myself to concentrate on work. Every moment is a hard-fought battle, but I keep at it because this is the only thing I can do. It's only been four days, but it already feels like forever, and I have three more days to go.
Three more days, dammit.
I don't think I knew this then, but it's become obvious to me now that a part of me has been waiting for her all this time.