Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 73828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
“For a minute,” I say.
He guides me into the backyard.
A bunch of kids sit around, their faces glowing orange from a bonfire, as they enjoy the fire and a couple of six-packs.
On a couch on the other side of the fire, I notice Mark sitting beside Jeffery Wells, who has his arm around him. A tall guy with a conceited grin he’s always displaying everywhere he goes, he’s the sort of frat kid I expect Mark to be attracted to. A lot like Greg. That same beefy body—stacked with muscles. He plays for the school’s volleyball team. I’m not sure about his family, but likely they’re within the vicinity of Mark’s family’s income bracket. He wears a hoodie, his arm slung around Mark so if my little fuck of the week turns, his face will be right in the guy’s armpit.
The aloof expression on Jeffery’s face suggests he’s too drunk to care about whether or not Mark is interested, and it’s obvious Mark isn’t, considering he looks everywhere but at this asshole.
Now I’m definitely going to stick around for a bit.
5
MARK
Jeffery’s wasted.
He’s been slurring for the past half hour and trying to get way too close. I don’t mind him normally, and maybe any other time I’d want to hook up with him, but not tonight.
I can tell he’s thinking he’s going to move in and nab me while I’m grieving over Greg, and something about that pisses me off. Don’t know why that bothers me about him when it didn’t bother me about Tim. Maybe because he’s a friend of Greg’s.
“You need another drink, Mark?” Jeffery says.
I gaze at my empty Solo cup.
I don’t. I’m a little buzzed, and that’s how I’d like to keep it. Not interested in waking up on the bathroom floor, which I’ve done a few times since I found out what Greg was doing behind my back two months ago.
He slides his arm out from behind me, snatches my cup, and hops up. As he heads around the bonfire, he turns back to me and offers a wink. “I got you, kid.”
Goosebumps race up and down my body, and I consider how much I’d need to drink to have sex with him.
He stumbles and nearly trips into someone cast in a dark shadow on the other side of the fire.
“ ’Scuse me,” he says, sounding as insincere as I imagine he can.
The shadowy figure steps forward, into the fire’s light.
It’s Tim.
I want to disappear.
He hasn’t done anything wrong, but he reminds me of my weakness right now. Of how much I want his touch. Need his lips against me. I imagine his breath against my body, his scruff rubbing across my flesh in just the right way.
In my drunkenness, I allow myself to go back to those two brief, but erotic encounters. Just the other day we were fucking in the stairwell at the school. How messed up am I to be fucking in public like that?
Since my breakup with Greg, Dad’s hooked me up with enough Lexapro to last a lifetime. I haven’t been taking it, though, which is probably why I’m making these horrible life choices. I know Dad cares about my happiness, but it seems like Mom’s influence is partially the reason he’s so eager to prescribe me with enough antidepressants to keep me from being a bother to her…or to our family.
Tim, his hands in his jacket pockets, walks around the fire, moving slowly...like a predator. Like he did that night when he followed me into that basement. When he gave me that look that made me feel hot and disgusting at the same time.
I hate myself for the shift in the crotch of my jeans.
Keith said he had to study tonight, so he didn’t think he’d be able to make it. I’m hoping he sticks to his plan because him coming here would be a disaster. He was so hurt by Tim’s rejection that he spent more than a few drunken nights crying on my shoulder the way I cried on his when I found out about Greg. And I’m not looking forward to staying up with him until four in the morning as he relives every conversation he had with Tim—every night they shared that made him think their relationship was more than it was.
Tim greets a few of the guys on a nearby bench. They stand up and hug it out before he sits with them.
I imagine he’ll just ignore me, which is fine. Although I wish I wasn’t completely alone right now because it sets me up to look like a total loser in front of him.
I sit up. I’m gonna own it.
I try to keep myself from eyeing him, but the harder I try, the more my glance pulls his way, and we keep catching each other’s gazes.