Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 80643 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80643 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
He took care of me.
Because… of course.
It’s the way Noah is about everything, really. He remembers the littlest things about the people he cares about, and always makes sure to take them into consideration. So when I ended up with a bullet wound, he waited on me like I was the lord of a manor.
I pull in a long breath of air.
Today is the first day in a while that almost feels normal.
And suddenly I feel like I’m in unfamiliar territory again.
As if being thrown into danger, witnessing murder, and seeing mafia kidnappers get thrown in jail is a billion times easier than talking about…
This.
What I feel.
The nagging feeling I have every time I’m near Noah, now.
“Noah,” I say softly.
“What?”
“You’re still being so nice to me.”
His eyes are so open, so pure. “Would you rather I try to fight you again? I know we weren’t always on good terms, but something about seeing you nearly die definitely made me realize I didn’t want that, so—”
“My point is that you don’t need me anymore.”
He furrows his brow. “Meaning?”
“Your life isn’t in danger now. You don’t need me to protect you anymore, and you’re still doing it. Being nice to me.”
Slowly, Noah’s expression shifts as he holds my gaze, like he’s putting puzzle pieces together behind his eyes.
“Oh,” he says, and I see those pink slashes land on his cheeks. “I get it.”
“And now suddenly you’re giving me your puppy-dog face again.”
He swallows, and the sun finally dips fully below the horizon, the light on his face changing from radiant orange to pink.
“Torin, if you’re worried that I’m catching feelings for you, just forget about it,” he says, stating every word carefully, like he’s afraid to say too much. “I’ve gotten about a thousand crushes in my life, and they always pass.”
Hearing him say the word crushes makes my heart lurch in my chest.
That was a bad, bad word to me, for so long.
A knee-jerk reaction would stoke inside me, telling me to abort mission, do not continue, and setting off so many internal alarms.
But the feeling inside me now is different.
I look out at the sunset for a moment, then look back at Noah’s face, and I swear he almost looks like he did when the doctor was pressing on his wrist to test for pain points.
Like he’s trying to suppress a sea of fuck, fuck, fuck behind a calm exterior.
“Do you think it’ll pass?” I ask him.
My voice is soft.
The sound of an old classic rock song filters up from the street, along with the laughter and chatter of everyone down there.
Noah just shrugs.
He doesn’t look me in the eye when he finally speaks.
“Regardless of what you think of me, I don’t actually always have to get what I want, Torin.”
It feels like there’s something reaching inside me, physically tugging at my heart.
“Does that mean there’s something you do want?” I ask him. “Something you might want really fucking badly, even though it’s the last thing in the world that you should?”
He still can’t look at me.
My chest aches, and I feel that magnet between me and Noah like it’s strong enough to lift up this whole house, this campus, the whole goddamn planet.
I lean over against him, bringing my hand to the back of his head.
I rake my fingers through his soft hair, getting a whiff of clean laundry scent.
I turn toward him, just a little, enough that I can kiss his temple.
I kiss against his cheek afterward, right along the place where his rosy blush is finally starting to fade.
And then I press my lips to his, softly. Slowly.
People downstairs are starting to light sparklers, and their fizzy little popping sound floats up to fill the air.
When I pull back, he finally looks at me.
His eyes are like two deep, clear pools, holding the enormity of his emotions right there on the surface.
“Why do you keep doing this to me?” he asks in a low voice. “You just like to torture me?”
“Because I would do anything for you, Noah.”
He exhales, turning away from me in an instant. “I don’t understand,” he tells me, his tone a little firmer. “You’re over here asking me why I still care, when I should be asking that of you. Why do you still care?”
“Because I’m hopeless, Noah.”
“I don’t even know what that means.”
My throat tightens. “It means I’m fucking obsessed with you.”
“Fuck, don’t say that.”
“Why the hell not?”
His head whips back around, and there’s alarm in his eyes. “Because it’s going to make me fall for you.”
My heart drops, like I’m jumping from a plane.
“Then fall,” I tell him. “Because I’m falling with you.”
“Torin,” he whispers.
I catch him in a kiss before he can say anything else.
I kiss him deeply, opening fully to him, as I feel that free falling sensation in every part of my body.