Total pages in book: 112
Estimated words: 105734 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 529(@200wpm)___ 423(@250wpm)___ 352(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 105734 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 529(@200wpm)___ 423(@250wpm)___ 352(@300wpm)
“I didn’t have the greatest relationship with my father growing up,” I tell her.
“How so?” she wonders.
“He was always busy, and I got the sense that I was a bit of a disappointment to him,” I say. Even speaking those words out loud hurts. I realize I haven’t ever spoken to anyone about my father because our secrets were too important.
“I’m sorry,” Sofia says, commiserating with me as if I’m just a regular guy with a regular father.
“And when the new baby comes, my dad is talking about retiring,” I continue. It feels safe to reveal that much. Most fathers don’t leave behind a legacy of violence when they retire. Most of them don’t have to go into hiding or pass down their criminal empire to their oldest son.
I mention nothing about me stepping into my father’s shoes. That’s not happening yet. I have plenty of time to work my way up to that level of leadership. Nine months to be exact, although Marlena’s at least a month into her pregnancy, making it eight months or less.
I close my eyes. At this rate, I’m going to be panicking forever. Sofia puts a hand on my stomach and draws a slow circle, calming me down. I hate that I’m so weak, but I’m thrilled at the physical contact. This is so much more than I expected, and exactly what I want out of our relationship.
I turn toward her, abandoning all thoughts of my father. His world seems so far away now that I’m safely enveloped in Sofia’s apartment. With her blanket on my shoulders and her body in my arms, I’m transported to a place where my family can’t touch me.
I lean over to give her a kiss, and to my surprise, she gives me permission. After brushing her lips with mine, I discover that she’s open to more. Tightening my arm around her, I pull her close.
CHAPTER 14
SOFIA
When Frankie kisses me, my first reaction is one of pleasure. I love the way he smells, like expensive cologne and body wash. I love the way his body feels against me. He’s so unlike the rest of his family in a thousand different ways. I can’t imagine him hurting anyone, and the way he holds me is more protective than anything else.
I’m one hundred percent convinced he had nothing to do with Danny’s death. I don’t even think he knows about it. His panic attack was real; there’s no way you can fake something like that. And now his lips feel so gentle against mine, as if there is nothing but love between us.
I allow myself to give in. This isn’t what I planned, but it feels right. I move to sit up so that I can press my chest against his. I comb my fingers through his hair, feeling the soft strands slide like velvet against my palms. He’s so delicious, I can’t help myself.
I work my way into his lap. This is all moving so fast, but it feels good. I know that I’ll regret it if I let things go too far, but I can’t think about that now. I just want to soothe all the anguish that’s been building in my heart since Danny died.
In a blinding flash, I realize that I haven’t been with anyone since that tragedy occurred. I haven’t once allowed myself to love or be loved. I haven’t been intimate in any way, and I haven’t missed it until now.
My body feels like it’s coming alive after a long dormant period. Blood rushes through my veins, spreading out to all my limbs like an accelerant. My nerves are on fire. Every touch is amplified a thousand times, and his kiss reminds me I’m alive.
I’m hungry for his touch. I no longer care about taking his father to court, or getting justice for my brother, or saving innocent lives. All that matters to me is this moment, this stroke of the hand, and the feel of Frankie beneath me.
He runs his hands up my sides, avoiding my breasts. I’m sure he wants to fondle me, but he’s taking things slow. He’s a gentleman to the very end, even when the goalposts are in sight, he cares about my feelings.
I want to prove to him that he can go all the way. I take my shirt off, tossing it towards the coffee table, not worried if it will hit the discarded water glass or not. Frankie’s eyes go wide. He shrugs off the weighted blanket and takes my chin in his hands.
We kiss again, repeatedly, until I hear angels singing. Frankie leans over me, forcing me down until I’m lying on the couch. He puts one hand on either side, not pressing his weight onto me yet. He continues to pace himself, giving me the option to hit pause whenever I feel uncomfortable.