Total pages in book: 168
Estimated words: 169013 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 845(@200wpm)___ 676(@250wpm)___ 563(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 169013 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 845(@200wpm)___ 676(@250wpm)___ 563(@300wpm)
“It’s me who’s not enough, Brinley.”
She released a choked sound. “That’s strange because when I’m with you, I can feel all the empty places that have been aching inside me being filled. And it feels like enough. Like more than I ever hoped or expected.”
Torment gnarled my insides.
“I’m not the kind of man you come to rely on, Brinley. Not the kind of man you should tie yourself to.”
She huffed with a shake of her head as she rinsed the last pot then set it into the drainer. “Probably not, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to.”
Fuck. What had we done? Hating each other one minute. Then somehow, in the blink of an eye, we’d ended up here. But I guess that’s why we fought each other so hard at the beginning.
Our spirits had known the danger the other posed.
I hesitated.
Warred.
Unsure of what I should tell her.
What I could let her in on.
I refused to burden her with the full truth of who I was, but I knew that I could trust her fully.
And it was time to stop keeping her completely in the dark.
Unaware and unprepared.
I needed her to know that this was coming up on a quick dead end.
“It goes down three nights from now.” Every word was gravel.
Brinley bowed, hands curling into the edge of the counter as she faced away.
Breaths shallow as she dealt with what should have been a boatload of relief yet so clearly hit her with the force of a sledgehammer.
Both of us were fully aware of exactly what that statement meant.
I wavered, trying to work up to the words, lips so fucking dry I could barely force them out.
“Think it would be best if we packed your things and took you back to your room above the club. Mission is going to be precarious, and I’m going to need to be at one hundred percent. Can’t afford distractions right now.”
It was such bullshit.
A pathetic excuse.
Brinley made a strangled sound, and she began to respond, only she clipped off when little feet suddenly pattered into the kitchen.
Kai ambled his way around me and went directly for her, thumb in his mouth as he dragged his blanket behind him.
“Kai mewk? Go nigh-night?” He pointed at the stash of bottles that sat in a basket next to the fridge.
“Are you tired, sweet boy?” Brinley’s words were strained with emotion. Soft and saturated with affection.
“I tie-werd.” He bobbed his sweet head.
Her hands shook as she grabbed a bottle and dipped into the refrigerator before she reemerged with a gallon of milk.
“I know he uses the bottle to soothe himself,” she started to ramble. “But we’re going to have to wean him from it soon and figure something else out that makes him feel safe. Milk isn’t good for his teeth at night.”
Every word shook.
An avalanche of pain as Brinley fumbled over the words, choking when she gasped, “I mean, you all will have to ween him soon.”
Milk sloshed onto the counter as she tried to pour it into a bottle.
Energy whipped through the air. Striking against my spirit.
Lashes of anguish and affliction.
I took a regretful step forward. “Brinley.”
She held out a hand, squeezing her eyes closed tight for a beat, her voice ragged as she whispered, “I’m fine. I’m fine. Just let me take him.”
I slumped back, nerves marching across my flesh as I watched Brinley finish filling the bottle, twist on the cap, then swept Kai from his feet.
That little boy who drove a stake through the middle of me tucked to her chest.
She was nearly frantic as she peppered tiny kisses all over his head.
“My Bwinwey?”
She choked. “Yeah, baby. Your Brinley and my Kai.”
Agony.
Maybe before this very second, I didn’t really know what that meant.
She turned and started across the floor with him.
Trying to subdue it.
To contain it.
A quiet storm that swelled and whirled as she approached. A slow, babbling rain that still created a flashflood.
She had her hand on the back of his head as she passed, and she sent me this somber, understanding smile.
Like she got it.
No anger or blame, just the devastating acceptance that this was our lot.
I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
Is this what getting your heart broken felt like?
I had to force myself to remain rooted to the spot as I listened to her carrying Kai to my grandmother then my sister in the living room. Each of them kissed him and wished him goodnight.
His little squeals were subdued by his sleepiness, and when Elena offered to tuck him into bed, Brinley whispered, “No, I’d like to do it, if that’s okay?”
“Of course.” Meems’s voice was a low rumble as she flicked off the television. “I’m heading up to bed, too.”
“Same,” Elena said.
Meems and Elena headed upstairs.
Brinley was a few steps behind them.
My breaths jutted as the muted thud of her bare feet began to echo through the air as she ascended the stairs.