Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 90768 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 454(@200wpm)___ 363(@250wpm)___ 303(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 90768 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 454(@200wpm)___ 363(@250wpm)___ 303(@300wpm)
“We’re going to McIntyre’s,” Jacobs says as he hits the showers.
“I’m out.”
“Got a date with your hand?” Beck asks.
“What can I say? It’s the best date I’ve ever had, so …”
The guys snicker.
Normally, I’d be all about going out, but even I’m drained after that practice.
Half of us trudge back to the dorms while the others head off campus. I loved the dorm room I had last year. It was at the end of the hall and away from foot traffic. This year, I’m right by the elevator, so I hear everything.
Being twenty-four years old and living in dorms wasn’t my first choice, but CU has this weird bylaw that has to do with their athletes. If you’re on a sporting team at this school, you live in one of the jock buildings. End of story. They say dorm life is to create strong bonds within the team, but honestly, I think it’s so we can’t throw massive parties and get into too much trouble.
I don’t hesitate in stripping down to my boxers and getting into bed. My muscles ache from the workout Coach put us through, and it’s times like these I wish I had a partner to massage all the kinks for me.
I’m sure I could find a puck bunny to do it, but … effort.
Seeing as I’ve been into fantasizing so much lately, maybe I can imagine someone doing it and it’ll feel as good as when I picture the no-faced randoms I’ve been messaging going down on me. Although, my hand helps with that.
Ugh, I can’t reach my back to massage myself.
There’s a message from a guy I sexted with a few days ago, but I bypass it for Einstein. I want real talk, not sex.
Although, hello. I have to squint and make sure I tapped on the right name.
Einstein: What are your thoughts on voyeurism?
Richie: Mr. I Just Want to Talk is asking about voyeurism?
Einstein: I am talking. This is not an invitation.
Damn. Still, interesting topic.
Richie: Hmm, thoughts on voyeurism. Am I the one watching or am I being watched?
Einstein: Either.
I have to think about it.
Richie: Being watched sounds hot. I wonder if watching would get the same kick as porn? I’d probably be too impatient and want to join in. I answered, now it’s your turn.
Einstein: I think I’d like to watch.
Richie: Want to video chat next time I hook up?
Einstein: …
Richie: I’m joking.
Einstein: Are you though?
Richie: IDK.
Einstein: It might give me some answers.
He still hasn’t told me what labels he’s struggling with. I assumed he’s like me and can’t work out where he sits on the straight-to-gay scale, but in this moment, I realize there are a whole lot of other letters under the rainbow.
Before I can reply, another message comes through.
Einstein: Have you been hooking up a lot? Guys or girls?
Even though it’s probably not a jealous question, I’m taking it that way because it does something to my insides thinking he might not like that. We’re not dating, we’re chatting.
Richie: I’m actually in one of the longest dry spells I’ve ever had.
Einstein: What, a week?
Richie: Before summer break. All this questioning stuff happened then, and I don’t know why, but being with a woman right now seems like I’m going backward? That probably sounds stupid.
Einstein: Not stupid. It would feel like you’re doing what you’ve always done and pretending this side of you doesn’t exist.
Richie: That’s exactly it.
This guy seems to understand me better than myself. Or is at least able to explain it better than I can. I do feel I need to be honest with him though.
Richie: Even though I haven’t hooked up in person, I have been sexting some other guys. Just … you know, putting that out there.
I hold my breath while he replies, reminding myself that I haven’t done anything wrong.
Einstein: What’s that like? And before you go there, this still isn’t an invitation.
Richie: It’s hot, but it doesn’t exactly make me want to run out and meet anyone to do it in person. Is that weird?
Einstein: If that’s weird, then I’ll probably be seen as even weirder.
Richie: That sounds cryptic.
The reply takes forever to come through. I want to know more about him, but I’m not going to push.
Einstein: The reason I only want to talk. The reason I’m on here at all is because my girlfriend broke up with me because she thinks I’m gay.
Richie: And have you figured anything out yet?
Einstein: Yeah. I’ve figured out I’m about as attracted to dicks as I am to pussy … not very much at all.
Something twists in my gut.
Einstein: I think I’m on the ace spectrum.
Ace? What’s that?
After a quick Google search, I find it. Asexual.
There’s the reason why my conversations with him have been great but have never led to anything more.
Richie: You don’t like sex at all? And sorry if this is too forward and comes across as judgmental. I don’t mean it that way at all. I’m curious.