Total pages in book: 124
Estimated words: 119476 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 597(@200wpm)___ 478(@250wpm)___ 398(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 119476 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 597(@200wpm)___ 478(@250wpm)___ 398(@300wpm)
As soon as I settled into the passenger seat, my limbs went limp and I practically melted against the butter-soft leather.
Atlas didn’t push me to talk, either, which I appreciated. He just flipped on the radio and drove.
Now we’re about a minute out, and suddenly my nerves are back in full force.
“Do you think Ellis is going to be mad?” I ask, fidgeting in my seat.
He turns down the music and glances my way over the rim of his sunglasses. “Mad about what?”
It seems like an obvious question to me. What young, single guy wouldn’t be annoyed to have some random girl crashing at their place? Especially one like me. “About me staying there…”
Atlas sighs and instantly I worry that I’m right—that Ellis doesn’t want me there.
“I-I can find somewhere—”
“You’re coming home, Pip. With me. Where I know you’ll be safe.”
“But…”
“He’s not mad.” He turns down their long driveway.
“Promise?” I hate how small my voice sounds. I don’t want to be weak and fragile. I want to be strong, an overcomer, a survivor. But right now, I’m just a scared girl with too many problems and not enough resources.
You could let them help, my brain supplies, you reached out for a reason.
“I promise.” He throws the truck into park and pins me with a look. “Wait here, okay?”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to argue, because I know he’s going to come and help me down, but I swallow back the urge and nod.
I was stubborn on the way here and scraped my knee trying to climb in. I could tell Atlas wasn’t impressed, but he didn’t say anything about it either. It’s hard, though, letting myself be at someone’s mercy—even over something as simple as this.
But I need to try, otherwise I’ll live my whole life in fear, and I refuse to let Rand control me like that. I want to be free of him in every way—physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Atlas swings my door open and extends a hand up to me.
It’s no big deal, I tell myself. And to anyone else, it’s not. But to me, it feels colossal.
I slide my hand into his, fully expecting his touch to make my skin crawl. But instead, the rough slide of his calloused palm against mine makes my skin tingle and my belly go all fizzy.
There’s something about him that just sets me at ease.
“Down you go,” he murmurs, reaching up to brace my waist with his other hand as I step down. It’s over as fast as it starts, but I swear, I can still feel the ghost of his touch even as he grabs my dingy little pillowcase from the back seat.
“I’ll get you a key made,” Atlas says as we head toward the house. “That way you can come and go.”
My breath catches at the thought of having such freedom—not that I have anywhere to go. But maybe one day…
I’m about to thank him when the sound of tires crunching on the driveway sends me into a panic. I dive behind Atlas, plastering myself to his back as I clutch his shirt between my shaking fingers.
“Nora?” Atlas tries to turn to see me, but I move with him, unwilling and unable to release my hold on him.
“Don’t let him take me,” I plead, burying my face in the soft flannel.
“Shit,” he curses under his breath. I can feel him gesturing something, but I can’t bring myself to look. “Pip, breathe, it’s just Ellis.”
His words penetrate my fear, and I peel myself back just enough to look past him. Sure enough, Ellis is standing in front of his Bronco, looking contrite.
Guilt swarms me like a hoard of angry bees, carrying shame on their stingers. He shouldn’t feel bad just because I can’t react like a normal person.
“Such an idiot,” I mumble to myself, only Atlas hears me, and if the fire in his eyes is anything to go by, he didn’t like what he heard.
“I need you not only to listen to me, Nora, but to hear me, okay?”
He waits for my nod to continue.
“You are not an idiot. You are a fucking warrior who has gone through more than anyone should ever have to. You’ve survived unspeakable things. When so many would’ve given up, you. kept. going.”
Atlas steps toward me, almost like he wants to hug me. It’s been so long since anyone’s hugged me, I almost wish he would. But my entire body flinches away on instinct, which makes him take a step back, shooting me an apologetic look.
How is it that I’m mourning something I never even had?
“So, no, you’re not an idiot. You’ve experienced trauma, and you’re going to need time to heal. Give yourself some grace, yeah?”
“Sorry.” I sniffle, hating how out of control I feel. For once, I’d just like to be normal instead of a cowering or crying mess.