Total pages in book: 66
Estimated words: 62266 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 311(@200wpm)___ 249(@250wpm)___ 208(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 62266 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 311(@200wpm)___ 249(@250wpm)___ 208(@300wpm)
Our small side quest didn’t change what would have happened. Plus, if Marks wasn’t there and hadn’t used my phone to dial them so they could hear what was going on, who knows what would’ve happened. On second thought, I don’t owe him anything. I fold my arms over my chest, focusing on my anger and not the hurt that I’m actually feeling.
Also! He was the reason I had to go on a side quest. Z is good with computers. Who am I kidding? The man is a genius with them. I'm convinced he was somehow in my phone. He always knows what I'm up to and is three steps ahead.
So when we went on our shopping adventure, we invited Tova's friend Marks, who I think might be as badass with computers as Z. Marks was going to have a peek into my phone to see if I was right and to also see if she could get him out of it.
I mean, it’s not like there is anything juicy on my phone, but maybe a girl doesn’t want him checking out their Kindle. Those things are private, but with Z, he doesn’t believe in much privacy when it comes to me.
He thinks I can’t take care of myself. I hope today finally showed that I could handle myself. I didn’t panic, and I did what needed to be done. What did that get me? Screamed at.
I was pretty much told I was a spoiled brat. I can concede that one. I mean, I’m the only girl in this family, or I had been before Tova. It was him saying that I think everything is a game and joke that struck a chord for me.
He might be right in part. I do things to get his attention. I can’t deny that. I’ve turned into the boy on the playground pulling my crush’s hair to get some kind of reaction.
You either laugh or cry. I know I use humor as armor. Then when he said, And you wonder why we keep you in Europe, that cut deep.
It made me feel as though no one wanted me here. I had been asking to come back to the States and was pushed off time and time again. It might be for the best if I went back.
I’d miss him. Hell, I miss him when he’s right next to me. Thinking about going back makes my heart hurt. It ached the whole time I was gone. I hoped Z would have missed me, but it doesn’t appear that way.
If it’s not already obvious, I am in love with him. I think I have loved him my whole life. I can’t pinpoint when it happened, but I swear the feelings I have seem as though they’ve been there forever. Always a part of me.
I really need to talk to him. To try to iron this out. I would rather not leave things this way. He might be being an ass because he feels it too. There is a lingering tension between us. I can’t be the only one feeling it.
I mean, watching my brother and Tova together, Warren was kind of a dick at times, not realizing that he was hopelessly in love with her. I have always been one to say what I’m thinking, except when it comes to Z. I should go to his room and speak to him. I'll never be able to sleep or come to the right decision about leaving if I don't. I can put it all out there.
"I'm doing it," I say, trying to pep myself up. I hurry into the bathroom, fluffing my hair and putting on lip gloss. It's late; if I do much more, it will appear like I'm trying too hard. I'm not going to beg. I only want him to be honest with me. I can’t keep living this way.
I debate changing out of my pajamas. It's a sweet little sleep dress that used to hit right at my knee when I got it a couple years ago. It had been one of my Christmas gifts from Z. Now it's on the shorter side, but I still wear it often. It reminds me of him.
I poke my head out of my room to see if anyone is around. This house is massive; even if a lot of people are here, it never feels that way. When I see the coast is clear, I hurry out of my bedroom and down the hallway toward Z's room.
He normally doesn't stay here, but everyone had come back home for my brother's wedding. Now most everyone has left, besides me, which is why I think Z stayed. I’m sure he’s here to keep an eye on me, making sure I'm not up to anything. What does he really think I'm going to do? Stab someone again?